A Moment

I think I am going to take a little bit to continue kicking back.

Back soon -- promise!

A Quick Word

Classes are over. But the fun continues!
I only have one exam left (ENG 350), but it's harder compared to my "eXtreme Weather Exam." Thankfully, I have read 50%+ of Paradise Lost, a little Fairey Queen (Spencer is lucky he's dead so I can't kill him myself), and all of Marlowe's Faustus. I think I am in good shape.

In my off-hours, I am working to rewrite my ENG 425 paper entitled "You Will Not Be An Astronaut." It's arduous, since I have 20 3-or-more-page reviews of it, plus my professor's comments. For me, re-writing is hard enough. Having to do it for a grade and on a time schedule is also straining. But I do have a week left, and I also have some idea of what I need to work on, so it's not all bad.

Also, out of a yearning artistic desire (but mostly fear), I wrote two pieces for the Gargoyle. The first chronicles the adventure of Joseph with Jesus, the bratty step-child. The second is a soliloquy delivered by the Miltonic Satan as he orders chinese food (spoiler: he uses "Stygian" a lot).

A busy time to be sure. The exams and the essays will be out of my (gorgeous) hair by the 20th, which is fantastic because I need more time to focus on the Gargoyle. We're going to print on the 11th of January, but since this is what I can safely call an "artistically experimental issue" it might not be enough time.

But it has to be.

---

X-Mas plans are as follows: Back in the Troydizzle after the 22nd but before the 24th. In Indiana on the 26th. Possibly further south if time allows? Who knows.

Liked Spam, A Lot

It's been a busy few weeks in Max-land.
With classes winding down there's been papers galore, and what few exams I have require studying. Or at least requisite fretting.

This past weekend, Claire and I sojourned to East Lansing to join my family in glorious celebration of my father's birth. East lansing was chosen as the site of such festivities because:

A. It is the home of El Azteca, Mexican restaurant famed throughout the land for gigantic salads.

and

B. Spamalot was playing at MSU's Wharton Center for the Performing arts.

Spamalot is, if you are unawares, a musical spin-off of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I say "spinoff" since it is certainly not an adaptation of the film. The play goes in different directions than the movie, and very much it's own production. Where the film focused on lampooning campy King Arthur movies, the play spends most of it's time mocking broadway productions (spec. "The Song That Goes Like This," and "You Won't Make It On Broadway (If You Don't Have A Jew)") as well as a myriad of broader, more topical points. Though Spamalot occasionally draws on the film for familiar gags and plotpoints, it does so with a fresh new spin. The "Anarchic Peasants" scene from the movie is re-imagined as the origin of Sir Gallahad, and takes a moment to mock The Phantom Of The Opera along the way.
Despite it's success, the play is certainly under the shadow the film, and making comparisons between the two is inevitable. The taunting by the French is a scene so familiar that it's difficult to see it done anew. Yet it's author, original Pythonite Eric Idle, and director, Mike Nichols of Nichols and May, seem aware of this and have clearly strove to not let the play be just a remake.

It's great for fans of quality satire, people that enjoy a fair amount of cursing and lewd material in their plays (me! me!), and anyone with a sense of humor. If you're looking to test your knowledge of python material, and are one of those people that insist on reciting the "Knights Who Say Nee" sketch verbatim, then don't go to this play. And stay out of my house.

Anyway, the play was fantastic. You should all see it. Don't buy the soundtrack, though. You have to see the play to really appreciate it. Claire and I had a great time (apart for the hour where I got lost in East Lansing), and so did the rest of the family.

Happy Birthday, Dad! You're awesome!

---

At this moment, I am in the basement of Cafe Ambrosia, waiting for my study group to arrive. Keith was in from DC where he works professional weiney burger starer. Awesome! Matt Thompson, of Mason Proper fame, was here too! Cool!
Me and Claire are going to try and see The Golden Compass tonight! Fantastic!

---

Just saw Golden Compass! Fantastic!
Also: I guess George C. Scott really needed the money!

Thanksgiving

Thanks was gave and food was had -- an excellent time.

I went home on Wednesday, after having a lovely visit with Kris and Claire completing her GREs (she did quite well) and the next day we ate together with the Lyons' at their their house in Rochester Hills.

On Friday I journeyed southward to West Lafayette Indiana. The trip was especially notable since I won a game of Monopoly -- against Phil no less!

The trip back was pretty lousy. I hit foul weather around Ft. Wayne, and it just kept coming. The truck handled pretty well in the snow (and the rain, and sleet, and the freezing rain, and the hail(?)), to my surprise, and I made it back alright.

Winter has finally come to Ann Arbor. Today, I actually had to get out my big black coat and floppy-eared hat. Winter is a good season for me, despite the driving issues. Hopefully this last winter in Ann Arbor will be a nice end to my time here.

Another post after I finish this essay on the demonic in Paradise Lost and The Tragical History of Dr. Faustus.

Ps.
Some of you may remember me talking about The Challenge. I ordered it at the Sunrise Cafe in West Lafayette, IN. It's basically a giant pile of eggs, biscuits, has browns, bacon, and possibly more meat, all covered in delicious sausage gravy. I ate the whole thing in one sitting.

Now, there is finally proof.





These surprisingly good pictures were taken on Phil's cell phone. I don't think they really do The Challenge justice -- this thing was massive. Sadly, there are no photos of me and Phil destroying Mank Rage's couches, which happened shortly after my finishing The Challenge.

Das Untersee Prius

Did you know that China is building super-quiet electric/diesel hybrid submarines?

I bet they get great highway mileage.

Oh, also: it seems that those billions we spend on defense isn't good enough because we can't tell where these things are and they can just pop up right next to the U.S.S. Kittyhawk.

It's probably not news to you, but I don't have a radio.

Concerts and Comics and Football

I've been going to a lot of "cultural events" recently. Partly, I think, because it's my last year at the University and I want to get my money's worth.

Two weeks ago, I attended my first football game. It was both disappointing and exciting -- I feel rather torn about it. I suppose my problem is that everyone I met had been building it up for me.

"Oh man, you never forget the first time you walk into The Big House," my co-worker had told me. He said that he felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and marveled at the feeling of being part of something so large.

I did feel something like that. I often complain that since moving out of the dorm I've felt separated from the University. Being at the game was the first time in a long time I have experienced the sensation of being part of a community, a group that shared emotions and experiences. I think we must be hard-wired to seek out these kind of feelings, which is probably why we value family and create our own groups of friends.

I did not have the awe-inspiring psuedo-religious experience that I was promised. I did, however, enjoy a very good game.

Last week, I saw the Russian Patriarchate Choir performing church music and a few folk songs. Less harmonic than a gregorian chant, the singing is as you would probably imagine. Soulful and heavy it filled the room with something like pious joviality.

It was interesting since generally I don't listen to music just for the music. Opera, for instance, is interesting to me not because of the amazing arias or the contra-tenor singing them. I enjoy the plots as much as (if not more so) than the pretty music.

However, the Russian choir was in a totally alien language. Also, I feel like most liturgical music isn't really saying anything all that original. It's generally a lot of praising, and what not. My experience of the music transcended lyrics, and content and was solely about melodies, harmonies, and voice. It was a truly excellent experience, even if I didn't get the jokes that everyone (or rather, every Russian speaker) was laughing at during the folk songs. I suspect some of the members of the audience to be Kossacks.

Tonight, I saw Madeline Peyroux. The concert went pretty much as I imagine. I tried to think of some clever similes to describe it.

"Like drinking the best coffee out of a mahoganey cup."

No? How about:

"Like drinking hot chocolate while sitting in your robe, watching the rain spray across flame-orange trees on a grey autumn day."

I guess it's easier to just say that it was the most mellow experience of my life. Peyroux, who sings like a Frenchier Billie Holiday, was backed by jazzy quartet consisting of a keyboard/pianst, electric guitar, electric/stand-up bass, and drums. The end result is that I felt warm and sleepy the entire time.

Lastly, I found the artist who did my favorite comic from the Flight collection I bought three years ago. It is completely fantastic, and you should all read it.

I haven't forgotten the promises I have made to this blog, but I keep getting distracted. Sometime, soon.

BIO PIC'D

The evidence clearly shows that Martin Scorsese will not stop until he has made a Bio Picmovie about every single artist that was in his record collection in 1974.

It does look kind of cool though.


---
Edit: I didn't like my use of "Bio Pic." Really, only the Dylan movie was a Bio Pic. I suppose it's open for debate. The title is staying, though.

Things I've Said

I know, I am way off the schedule that I hinted in the last post.
But I have a really good excuse this time.

The whole alum thing last week dominated my time, but it was completely awesome. I love the alums - there will be more on this later, and I do promise that.
Anyway, the Alums were here and Kris was staying with me (RAD!) but that meant we got no work done on the issue that weekend. So we've been burning the midnight oil all week to layout the issue and also do fun things -- like carve pumpkins.

We just finished. The issue is entirely done. We're doing the copy-edit corrections Friday afternoon, and it will be sent to the printer's before end of business tomorrow.

I'm going to sleep so well.

The Wes Anderson Situation : The Second Line

After my post made directly after standing in line for the quickest five hours of my life, I did not in fact fall asleep.

Actually, I went to Midas and had my car repaired. I'm not saying what exactly I had done because it was embarrassing. I will say that it cost me $5.11.

A little later, I was lounging in the Gargoyle office. Mostly sleeping and pretending to read The Argonautika. Zack, the man for whom I was standing in line for that morning, dropped in and quickly grabbed the coveted wrist band with only moments before the interview with Wes Anderson was scheduled to start at Borders. He returned, glowing, half an hour later.

He said his life was better.

It's hard to describe what happened next. There was a lot of going back and forth, yelling, and negotiating. I'm going to try to get this across to you, gentle reader, as succinctly as I can.

Cathy Fisher, my friend whom I spent the morning in line with, called me from the new line forming outside of the Michigan Theatre. She, like me, had obtained a pass to see The Darjeeling Limited. She had also taken one of the Gargoyle's coveted bombs and had Jason Schwarzman as well as Wes Anderson sign it. Their names will live on in history, along with both members of They Might Be Giants. But I digress.

Fearing that the bomb might get damaged (or worse confiscated) in the theatre I quickly ferried it back to the safety of the Office. However, upon my return I found that they had begun to bring people into the theatre from not one but two lines! Within seconds, the flow stopped with between 50 and 100 angry people still outside, hopelessly waving colored vouchers. I was among them, though perhaps far less vocal than the rest.

Tempers were high, to say the least. Curses were thrown. Managers and underlings were berated equally by the crowd. Someone would come out from the theatre, inform us that it was hopeless and that we were wasting our time. Shouts would rise from the back of the mob about promises, about how much time they had spent in line, about the questionable parentage of the manager. No fewer than three people on behalf of the theatre came out, and left noticeably deflated by the angry throng.

I felt bad for both sides, really. Borders had bungled the whole thing by passing out numbered, signed, but apparently worthless vouchers to the first fifty people in line. The Michigan Theatre had not anticipated the popularity of the film, and had obviously given away far too many vouchers, and also had no system in place for sorting the people waiting to get in.

There was visible disagreement within the theatre. A man in a camel-hair suit, who towered over the underlings that came out to speak to the crowd was seen shouting, or at least talking sternly, within the lobby. Eventually, a man in a pinstripe suit emerged and ordered all "purple vouchers" against the wall - a certain number of us would be let in. With some jostling, and quick reflexes, I made it inside.

FRIDAY: The People I Met, and the Movie Itself!

SUNDAY: Wilco At the Fox

This weekend, the Student Publications building is being rededicated as The Stanford Lipsey Publication Building. Guess who dropped 3.3 million on the project! There will also be the odd-year Gargoyle Alumni reunion. Pictures and stories to follow.

Announcement!

On December 25th, 2006 I received a Wii for Christmas. Along with this whopper of a gift, I also received a copy of "Zelda: Twilight Princess."

On October 21st, 2007 I beat Twilight Princess.

I think I might be the last Wii owner in America to do this, but this is the situation.

Two Things

1. I still need to talk about Wes Anderson. There's not much to say, really, but it was such a big deal that I need to wind it up.

2. I cannot say enough good things about tonight's Wilco show. It was fun, it was dead on. The band went all the way back to A.M. and hit every album in between (save for, oddly, either Mermaid album).

So there's a lot coming. I have some more reading to do, and a paper to work on, but I be sure to fill all of you in.

Thank you, Gentle Readers.

It Seemed Better in the Dark

I woke up at 4am today. I want that up front, since that might explain everything that happens from here on in.

A few days ago, my friends and I noticed a sign in the window of the local Border's. It announced the coming of acclaimed director Wes Anderson, who would be speaking and presenting a screening of his new film The Darjeeling Limited. My friends, Cathy and Zack planned to get into line very early this morning in order to get passes both to the film as well as the lecture/Q&A thing.

Zack, however, felt that the appeal of the director would be limited and decided to go home and try to get tickets a few hours before the presentation. Last night, Cathy convinced him of his folly.

This is where I come in.

I like Wes Anderson, and I think that his films are great. However, I saw no purpose in my going to see him speak. I had decided that my involvement would be limited to scoping out the venue the night before to see if a line was already forming. When Zack decided to come later, however, I offered to serve as a ringer -- to stand in line for him so that he could see Wes Anderson speak and I could see the movie.

The decision was made. I met Cathy outside Border's Books and Music around 4:10am, Monday.

3pm Monday : Zack should arrive in Ann Arbor
6pm Monday : Wes Anderson speaking event
7:15 pm Monday : Film screening

I don't know exactly how all this will go down. Judging how the line was this morning, I can't imagine that it will too awful.

Details as they develop.

PS.
I neglected to mention what I got from Writing as Business Symposium (apparently, it was a symposium).
Basically I learned that:

1. Copy Writing sounds like a good job
2. Advertising agencies hire english majors
3. "You are not reading enough."
4. "You are not writing enough."
5. You can get a job in the field without a graduate degree -- this was key. My current thinking is that I do not want to go to Grad School until I am sure what I want to do with the degree.

There was also an interesting, but less practical discussion, on the role of critics and reviewing. More on that, some other time.

Open The Mysterious Bag!

Thats right, kiddies. I got a hair cut, and this time its pretty serious.



But all in all, I am very happy with it.



It was time for a change, anyway.

My friend and former roommate Hyatt has told me several times, "Max, the day you cut your hair is the day we have to grow up."

Immediately, I thought of "Tall Buildings."
Don't worry, H-Man and everyone else, I am certainly not any different. Just much, much more attractive.

I do think I kind of look like Matt, though.

Hair

A Question!

What is in this mysterious black bag!?

Find out at 5pm, October 4th!

New Apartment and Symposium

In order to alleviate the fears of loved ones, I will be attending 'The Business of Writing Forum' today. As near as I can tell, its a bunch of old, successful foggies talking about how great they are. Im a little disappointed that its not, in fact, a symposium. Im not sure what the difference would be, but I have always wanted to experience symposia.

Also, I am pretty well settled into my apartment now. Its a cozy little thing, a little ways back from the road. I'll try to have some pictures up by this evening. I still don't have my TV, on account of my TV being in (I believe) Grand Rapids. Hopefully that can be worked out soon, because I have got me a hankerin' to play some Wii.

Before I forget, the address here is:

334 East Madison, Ann Arbor Mi 48104

The Photos From Iceland

Many have asked, "Sir, hasn't our breath been baited enough? Are we not worthy of your many, many pictures of Iceland?"

Children, you have waited long enough.
Behold, I give unto yee (the little people) these pictures.

Trip To Iceland (And Beyond)

I chose only the best, least rock-related photos of the 541 primarily rock and landscape based photos to be posted. Each has what I hope to be some kind of explanatory caption, but do ask questions using the comment feature on each picture and I will use my encyclopedic knowledge to answer it.

I'd like to take a moment to explain just what happened to yours truly upon his glorious return from the Land of Ice (and Vikings). Claire and I came into New York, where we were met by Ba and Mare - my wondrous aunts of legend. After a night in the Casa De Everett (home of Rick Everett, man about town), we sojourned on to New York. Our two-day mission was to aide in moving Claire's sister Hannah into her new home at Columbia University.

After a few minor, less viking-related adventures in NY (sadly, not involving Justin Kavoussi) Claire and I headed back to Ann Arbor - the Big Sleazy. She left later the next day, and then I was on my own. Homeless and alone, but at least gainfully employed, I staggered through the next ten days. On the 31st of August, I moved into my new domicile and then immediately left for Indiana.

Since then, I have started classes (more on that later) and the Gargoyle has kicked into gear for the year (more on that later, also rhyming). The only real obstacle between me and getting back into semi-regular contact is the sheer lack of internet in my house. Despite my best efforts to steal it from neighbors, I have been without internet in my life since the 21st of August. I miss it, but according to the voice on the other end of the line a modem should materialize on or around the 11th of September.

Now take some time to enjoy the pictures. Its very late, and this Max is off to bed.

Back from Iceland (Hurrah!)

Hello all!

I am back, and have been so for a few days, I admit.
Iceland was wonderful, but I am sadly back in the working grind so I have to keep this brief (and then scuttle off to bed).

Expect pictures (a sliver of the 500+ that I took), and stories very soon!

It was a great adventure, and I was especially glad to see Mare, Barb and Rick along the way. But right now I am glad to be back in familiar territory and in contact with my family and friends.

Thats all for now, please wait for more with baited breath!

WE ARE HERE!

Hey all!

Me and Claire are here and safe in Iceland, but internet is hard to come by!
I'll try to get more up soon ok they are throwing me out of the cafe gotta go!

LÜV,
MAX AND CLAIRE

Iceland, Ho!

Hello, everyone.

Im in the JFK airport right now. Soon, Claire and I will be leaving for Iceland!
I'll try to get some posts in, but I can't say for sure whether or not I'll have internet access.

We'll be back on the 21st, with pictures and stories to follow.

Iceland!

He's dead, isn't he?

Startlingly enough, no! He's not dead!

As this post to the blog plainly shows, I am alive and well - imagine, friends, that I am smiling and holding up a copy of a newspaper which, while indicating the date in large letters, reads 'Dewey Beats Truman.'

A quick re-cap of where I have been: Since my last post, I have been desperately seeking a place to call my own for the ten days of loneliness I must endure before my new lease kicks in. I have found such a place in the form of a couch (more on this, as it develops). Also of great concern was the question of where to store my precious, precious possessions. As you can see, 70% of this problem has been solved and I am now the proud owner of a Storage Unit.

I used to see signs for these places and wondered how sad it must be that there are people in the world that have so much that they need to rent space specifically to keep it all in. More proof for the theory that as you age, you become what you hate. Or what you ate. Or something.

These two conundrums, coupled with my frantic work schedule, general malaise and a visit from dear cousin Phil have left me very busy indeed.

Also, I will mention briefly that the Gargoyle has also been pretty active this summer. Not as active as I had hoped, but thats mostly my own fault. I can, however, tip you all off that the Daily business staff will likely soon be selling ads for the Gargoyle in a co-operative effort between the two entities. Its a very exciting time - so much so, that I need to use the bathroom.

But the big news this week is, of course, my birthday! We are now in the closing days of the two-week long celebration of life in my honor. If you have yet to send tribute - monetary or in the form of livestock/wife - you may do so through the appropriate channels.

The other piece of catastrophically huge news is that I am leaving for Iceland on Thursday (8/9/07)! Iceland: Land of vikings, sheep, Bjork and Knitted goods of the highest quality! Claire and myself will be taking our leave very shortly.
We'll be returning to Michigan on the 21st, but not before saying our Hello's! to Ba-ba and Mare in NY.

Watch this space for Iceland related updates, as often as possible. There will, at the very least, be one big one at the end of it all.

Its been a hectic month, and I'll be glad to see the other side of it.

Tonight, I visited a liquor store and purchased several items that were previously unavailable to me. Namely Strongbow and Arrogant Bastard Ale. Though I am thrilled that despite having been draft-worthy for 3 years, the US Government has finally deemed me responsible enough to look after my own destruction, I am not so thrilled that I have yet to be carded! This is the second time that I have purchased alcohol since August 6th and not a single person has asked to see ID! What's the point?!

In closing, I will leave you with this:

When the guy who owns the comic book store recognizes you at the liquor store and tells you the outcome of the Comic Book vs. Bar kickball tournament, you may be purchasing too many comic books.

(Please note: this is an untrue statement)

"Art" Fair On A Stick

Ah, the Ann Arbor Art Fair. You've no doubt heard tell of it in song and legend. You have probably even gone so far as to doubt its existence.

Let me assure you that it is real.

Here's a quick rundown on the kind of stuff you would have seen this weekend at the Ann Arbor Art Fair:

1. Creepy Naked Art - There are just too many of these. And just because your photos are in black and white does not mean they are art. No matter how much photoshopping you do. Also, the guy with the tent next to the guy with the creepy water nymph paintings? You got troubles, dude. And don't think you are getting away either, Water Nymph man. I've got my eye on you.

2. Art-On-A-Stick - There are three things that can by found on stick at the Art Fair. The noble Corn Dog is of course present, as well as the "Chinese" creation 'Chicken-on-a-stick with fried noodles.' Though the later is substantially more delicious than the former, I still have no idea why it is on a stick. The last thing stick-bound is, oddly enough, art. Though this makes marginally more sense than the chicken, I still firmly believe that if its something clever on a stick and meant to go in your lawn then it is not art. I should also emphasize how much of this kind of crap there is at the art show. There is a lot.

3. Bad Fashion Decisions - Just because it might be warm out, and there are lots of people around does not mean you have to dress like that. Although I have to admit that the dude in the cargo man-skirt looked pretty cool.

4. 'Good' Art - See Below*

5. The Art Fair Dolls - Every year, someone or something places weirdly disfigured dolls in odd places around the art fair. Though they disappeared for a few years, a couple did show up in trees and secured to light-posts this year. Since this is a blog intended for mixed company, I will spare you the details and instead instruct you to imagine what a 7yr old boy with a soddering iron, a red marker, and a penchant for the grotesque could do with a Barbie doll. Whatever you are thinking of is probably very close to these horrible and wonderful little things.

6. Me - Yes, I was there. Every day. Part of working on the Diag Crew is having to cover Art Fair, and this lead me to walk around several times a day changing trash-bags and hauling away stuffed plastic sacks leaking fluid all over the place. After four ten-hour days of this, I finally lost it. Saturday was my worst day at work this summer. Despite having completed the wooden pirate-ship model we found some weeks earlier, I was otherwise mentally out to lunch. I am certain that nothing I said made any sense that day. To anyone who encountered me on Saturday (especially anyone who tried to talk to me on the phone that day), I feel I owe an apology.

Thankfully, Art Fair has passed. Today, my only day off this week, I woke late and spent the entire morning reading. After a quick trip down to the comic book store with Nate and his roommate Jane, pausing only briefly to play with iPhones, I decided to roost up on the fire escape. And here I have stayed.

Its wonderful. I've even lit some candles.
Tomorrow, I go back to work.
Today, nothing is allowed to bother me.

---

*This is very subjective, I know. While the Art Fair has lots of 'cool' things, there were only a very few that actually made me feel bad for not having any money to give them. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure:

Rex Benson: Specializes in wonderful ceramics with a bend toward the bizarre and fantastical. I am reminded of Don Bluth animations, and other late 70's cartoons. Im also reminded of the work done by my old neighbor, Jimmy Thompson.

Chrsitine C. Schub: Her intricate oil paintings could be many things. Perhaps a city seen from above? A skyline? An artistic understanding of a circuit board? Whatever the analogy her cramped and busy little paintings really fascinated me.

Nick Wroblewski: My personal favorite from last yuear enchanted me again. I told him straigh up that I wish I could buy some of his work. And if anyone wants to spend a substantial sum of money on me, they should get me this:




There were many others that caught my attention, and Im sure many other worthy artists could be found amongst the crap on sticks. But these were my big three.

Also, this is one of the few blog-posts I have taken the time to edit, and re-read. If you are in a masochistic mood, you can read the first draft here. Im leaving it in all its whiney, boring, overly-detailed glory.

Pandora in my ears tonight

I imagine my hordes of adoring readers see me as a simultaneously gruff and sophisticated free spirit. The kind of guy who fells a tree with his bare hands, then carves a chair out of the trunk with his teeth so that he can sit comfortably while reading high literature and sipping San Pellegrino.
Sadly, this is not the truth.

I've been a geeky dude a long time. In fact, I can't remember a time when I wasn't lusting for gadgetry or wanting a spaceship. There are hints of this in the blog. Most notably when I write whole posts about a computer, or compare different blogging softwares. A keen reader will note that I seem to be more and more involved in internet-related projects. This blog is a prime example, my use of Twitter is another. I find the way these projects integrate people as participants and architects wonderful as well as intriguing.

Anyway, I started this whole post because I wanted to talk about Pandora. Nate put me onto this recently and, despite its foreboding name, I am really enjoying it.

--- INTERMISSION ---

(During this short intermission, we'd like to present a re-enactment of the scene in which NATE tells MAX about PANDORA)

Nate: You should check this out. Its this web-app called Pandora...

Max: Uh-uh! No way! No way am I going anywhere near, or having anything to do with this "PANDORA" of which you speak!

Nate: But it...

Max: Dude! I've seen movies! I know mythology! Anything with a name like that is BAD NEWS. Forget it, lets get a ham.

--- END OF INTERMISSION ---

Pandora is a web-based application, part of the Music Genome Project. It acts like an internet radio station that filters the output based on your selections. When starting a new "station" you're prompted to enter a band or song that you like. You'll then be fed a stream of songs, one after the other, that have something in common with the initial choice. These songs can be rated by the user, thats you, which changes the "content" of the "station." For instance, if you entered Frank Zappa as your initial favorite your ratings of the songs which followed could eventually have you listening to Rachmaninov or perhaps jazz quintets.

Its quite a fun little toy, and its letting me enjoy a wide variety of music that seems to be within the vein of things that I enjoy.

The whole thing is powered by the Music Genome Project, which seems to be an overly ambitious exercise in cross-indexing. But whatever, Pandora is fun and is giving me new tunes for free.

I Took A Pretty Good Picture

As many of you know, I like to take pictures. Im not a photographer, not in the least. I have only a rudimentary understanding of camera settings and very rarely am able to use them effectively (more often I just take the picture without monkeyin' with the camera).
If I ever get about $1k I could just throw at something, I'd probably purchase myself one of those nifty digital SLR cameras. They're all crazy with their manual zoom, manual focus, and no shutter delay. Basically, its a camera that makes all the pictures you take with it awesome. Its almost magical.

Here's one I took last night. I usually take about 12 at a time, and keep one or two that turn out well. Here's last night's good picture.




PS.
My computer worked for 12 hours last night, through jostling, heavy use and extreme heat. COULD ATOMSK BE HEALED (again)!?

A Confession, And A Bit More

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for lying to the Mormons who accosted me on the street so as to avoid what I anticipated as being a frustrating and one-sided conversation on the nature of existence.

Amen.

I thought I would just drop a little something here since my computer is not co-operating. Atomsk is alive, I guess, but cannot seem to make it through booting without freezing and needing to be re-started.

Claire has requested that I clarify that she is NOT ON A HOPI EXCAVATION. She writes, "Not a Hopi excavation! Ancestral puebloan!"

Also, I am going to be working 4 ten hour shifts in two weeks, to cover the art-fair happenings in Ann Arbor. If anyone was going to pop by that week, I'm going to need some seriously advanced notice.

The weekend after that (July 27-29) cousin Phil will be dropping in for a little R&R in this scenic northern paradise.

Not too interesting, I know. Ah well, it is summer after all.

The Fact of the Matter

Been a long time since my last post. Didn't mean for it to be that long, but I did mean for it to stew for a while.

I have another, nearly completed and much longer post which answers many of the questions that I have been asked over the past few weeks. It'll still go up, but I woke up this morning with a lot of idealism so Im sidetracked on a few other things for a while.

Quick Update:

KRIS has moved into her new apartment and is getting wired for the internet today! She's started working for a real company, making real money and is eligible for real health benefits! Huzzah! She's even bought a cat, which terrifies her rats but is otherwise adorable.

CLAIRE left for Arizona last week. She'll be working at a Hopi excavation until mid-July. Contrary to popular belief, not all of archaeology is done with a pin and toothbrush. These guys have been known to use shovels, and even back-hoes! Though their primary tools are trowels and petiches...uh, sorta lost the point of this midway.
Ah, right. CLAIRE, however, is not digging. Instead she is in charge of the LAB, where recovered samples are washed and then subjected to weird tests that resemble the Salem Witch trials. 'Floatation' for instance separates two kinds of matter...some of which is usable...and...um...really you should just ask her.
This paragraph isn't going so well.
THE POINT IS THAT CLAIRE IS DOING THE PART OF ARCHAEOLOGY THAT SHE LIKES. The part with all the analysis. She's also working with pottery, which she really enjoys.
Today, the dig-crew is going on a field trip to see a Hopi dance, the Petrified Forest (I've been there!), and then to a Hopi home for dinner.

NATE, whom I retrieved from the Great White North, is now in Ann Arbor for the season! He's working for NOAA as some kind of computer slave/data analyst. He's got some really nifty graphs that too me look like something produced by a Jefferson Airplace/Jackson Polluck joint art initiative. Did I mention that said graphs are covered in arrows? They have arrows too. Nate is doing some kind of crazy physics with those underwater currents that you hear about. I've learned my lesson from Claire's paragraph, so I am just going to skip trying to explain it (since I don't understand it) and go right to telling you all to just ask him yourselves.
Me and him have been hangin' around a bit. I've been showin' him the town and teaching him the fine art of buying all your food from the corner liquor store.
The other day we played the demo for an upcoming game called "OVERLORD," which casts you as a Sauron-type entity bent on conquering and destroying. Basically, the game gives you minions. Its simple, its stupid, and its dang fun.
Soon, Nate will be out in a boat on Lake Erie servicing and placing temperature sensors. It'll be a lot like Deadliest Catch, but without the startling human drama, or the Disocvery Channel.

PHIL is moving into a very nice house with his lady friend SUSAN way down in Indiana. You can read more about it, and Mank Rage here. You really should, too.
Good luck, you two.

MAX has been working for over a month now! Actually, at the moment, he's not working. Instead, he's eating a pecan log. Which, however delicious, is not 'work' nor is it 'healthy.' Anyway, he's on the Diag crew working for the University's Grounds and Waste management. This is, quite literally, his work-place. Last week he trimmed a hedge down a foot! He also planted an oak! Yesterday, he and the other temps got to drive the ToolCat around! Its a piece of equipment that costs 7 times what he will make from the University this year - and its the most fun ever!
Max is also planning for his imminent birthday - which should arrive any day now. He'd really like this, but understands that its expensive. He hopes that two or more people won't get that for him, because then he'll have to sell one for-profit on eBay. He also need to go to another Wilco concert so he can get this, which combines two things he love. Try to guess which two!
While things are good for Max, he often finds himself feeling restless and very uneasy. This is not unusual, and seems to be just part of spending a summer in Ann Arbor. Its also probably related to his sleep schedule. Things seem to be improving, however.
He also recently attended a wedding, and looked fabulous. On the way back to Michigan, Claire snapped this photo out the window:


Back soon, kiddies.

My Friend, Kris

Much belated, but just as heartfelt.

Kris has graduated and moved to the great state of Colorado. She's mere seconds away from launching her career as some kind of software engineer. I worked with her on the Gargoyle, where she was the art director for my first three years. An invaluable asset to the magazine, her art was key to moving the magazine forward out of the Dark Ages and into the light of the 20th century. She and I have been close friends for a good long while now. Through ups and downs, etc. She's left an indelible mark on my life, and I certainly hope that I haven't seen the last of her.
I don't really know what more I can say.

To my best friend Kris:
You'll be missed. Sorely.
Come visit soon. My door will always be open.

Visit her website, and buy her shirt.

Go Ahead and Shake Hands

Say hello to a pal of mine.



Thats right, folks. We all thought he was gone but ATOMSK LIVES.

...

Sort of...

On Craig's advice I pried this sucker open (which took the better part of two days and ruined a new set of screw-drivers) and carefully applied some magical fluid (distilled water) to the nasty looking parts of the motherboard. A good dry and a few prayers, and POOF Atomsk is running again!

He's still a little jittery. Im concerned about some cooling issues, and some odd smells but its pretty likely that these are all in my head. He's still a little weird with booting, too. After a few tries, he's at least booting when the battery is in. I also feel like he's running slow, and the screen has for sure taken some minor damage.

But all in all, he's running again! Once again, I delay the purchase of a new computer.

A few related thoughts to this whole ordeal:

1. I walked to the Ace Hardware on Stadium (about 3mi) to buy the screw-drivers and the water. When I asked them if they had a "Spudger," a non-static pry-tool used on electronics, they looked at me like I said something dirty.

2. While checking out, I was accused of having brought the gallon of water in from another store. "Where did you get that?" the saleswoman asked.
"Aisle 11?" I suggested.
"Hm. We don't carry that water here..."
"Uh, its in Aisle 11...lots of it."
"Hmmmm."She was not amused with me. I'll bet she was glad when I scampered out of there.

3. While walking back from ACE, resplendent in my straw hat, Blues Brothers sunglasses and hawaiian shirt, I spied some young lads approaching rapidly by bicycle. When they got close the lead child called me a very rude name involving avian of the family Phasiandidae. The name-caller was about 10 or 11, short hair, skinny, and biked without an helmet in a bright yellow T-Shirt. His accomplice was pudgier, about the same age, and wore a plain white T-Shirt and a purple helmet. A reward is available for any information that leads to their capture.

4. When I called Craig and Julie in triumph, Julie asked if I was disappointed. I'll say maybe, maybe just a bit.

[EDIT: I also changed the Twitter thing. Does that work better for everyone?]

Last Ditch

In a last-ditch effort, im opening Atomsk's pretty alu-minium shell and will swab his gentle innards with water soaked Q-Tips.

I have purchased all the necessary equipment and with the aide of this guide I'll be playing computer doctor.

Farewell, Atomsk

Atomsk, my dearly beloved laptop purchased such a short while ago in large part from my loving parents, is (effectively) dead. When taken to the Apple Store, he was declared to be at DAMAGE TIER LEVEL 4. That's apparently bad. As in, DEFCON 4 THE SOVIETS HAVE GONE TO CONDITION RED bad. The man at the desk tells me it will run at least 1300 to repair him.

Though his data is still intact, I figure it is too late for him. I am exploring some options, but Im not too hopeful.

Right now, Im preparing for the worst.

The king is dead. We must prepare for succession.

THE MACBOOK
A solid choice. Small, cute, cheap and high-powered. However, it lacks any kind of decent graphics card and has an admitably small screen. Since I use my computer as a kind of entertainment center, this could be problematic.

THE MACBOOK PRO
Highpowered and wide (not thick), this is the heavy hitter of Apple's portables. A faster chip, larger screen and a nifty graphics card are its highpoints. But its price tag brushes past the WAY WAY TOO MUCH level.

THE IMAC
Best of both worlds, but stuck to the ground. A huge screen, a graphics card with more RAM and a hard drive the size of greate Milwaukee are just some of its dandy features which come at an equally dandy price. But its not exactly going to fit into my backpack.

PS.
I become E-FAMOUS! Try to find me on this page!

PPS.
As you can tell from these pictures, all the other bands were not nearly rocking hard enough. You ain't got time for gentle melodies if you rock so hard you have to wear a tamborine on your head! Go buy Mason Proper's album, or better yet see them live.

PPPS.
Also, get the new Wilco album. And see them live too.

Double Battered and Deep Deep Fried

Bonus points if you can identify the origin of this post's title!

So, I was going to update you with lots of super fun happy information that I have been saving for the past two weeks. I was going to tell you all about my new grounds job, about Claire staying with me, about my best friend Kris moving out west, about Spiderman 3, Shrek 3 and Inland Empire.

Instead Im going to tell you that I am an idiot. I am an idiot because I spilled black current and apple juice on the keyboard of my laptop. I lept into action trying to save him, but Im pretty sure it blew before I could get it turned off.

Right now, sweet sweet Atomsk is drying out in my room. I'll try to turn him on tomorrow, but Im pretty certain theres no hope. At least he went out in fiery battle - like a true viking.

More on the computer situation, as it develops.

Back to you, Phrank.

Rolled Up And Eaten In A Pasty

Remember how I said that I'd check and see if there was some kind of deeper meaning to my trip the Upper Peninsula? Yeah, there isn't one.

I drove for a really, really long time. I counted mile markers. I pulled over for gas when my gauge went below 3/4 of a tank remaining - I was very paranoid. I saw huge windmills. I crossed a huge bridge. I got scared when outside of Munising, because there were ice flows in the lake. It was at that exact moment that I realized I was very, very far away from home and that I might be in trouble.

In Houghton, land of trees, I hung with Nate and his roomate Stu. Nice guy, Stu. Reminds me of someone - but Im not sure who. At some point while hanging around I noticed how well me and Nate work off of each other - we were just going back and forth with stories, commentaries, theories and general blather with machine gun speed. A good time, for sure. I have great friends, Im surely quite lucky.

We chitty-chatted late into the night. Very late. I didn't have much sleep in my system while caravanning back from the frozen north, but I did fine. Im told that the distance I traveled north is the same distance midway into Tennessee if applied southward. And to think I did it twice! It was remarkable to see the trees get greener and greener the farther south I went. Since most of the time anyplace you looked at up there seemed to come out of an ecology calendar, the drive was a lot like flipping through a Safari Club publication very quickly.

Im still pretty worn out from the whole thing. But by gum, I enjoyed myself. I take it back, there's some meaning in there somewhere. I'll write a book, and then let the students figure it out.

Here's some pictures:

The Great Northern Transport

Massive Michigan (word for trip beginning with "M")

Im back in Troy, at the Eddy Team Base, preparing for the single longest car trip I have ever endured.

Such a thing is, by definition, unprecedented.

The story begins many years ago in High School where I met a kid named Nate, in band class. He played sax in the campus band and I played clarinet, but somehow we met up. Fate? Naw. Its like sifting river gravel, which makes all the sediments of like mass move to the same area - drawing all the emeralds together. Did you like that? Did you see what I did there? Its a metaphor, describing how I feel about my serendipitous meeting with a dude who has continued to be a very close friend and creating a comparison between my homies and precious gems.

Anyway, we went on to have many misadventures through our highschool days, and since our graduation he's been making his home in the great white north, at Michigan Tech. Tomorrow morning, I will rise and get into my car. I'll turn on the newly installed stereo deck and rock out hardcore for 9.75 hours until I reach his pad.

I just checked, and I don't think there's any deeper metaphorical edge to this trip. Although I guess I won't really know until I get back.

See: map of amazing trip.

See Also:

Pictures of me and Claire at the Zoo!

He Returns From The Brink!

Hello all, its very good to be back.
The last few weeks were pretty trying, and I am surprised that I made it through in one piece. First, there were the papers. Then, there was the Flu. After that, there were the Extensions - where I worked with the tenacity of an Army Ant colony to get everything done.

And now, here I am. At the end of it all - and I even have all my grades in! Dig it:

ENG 370 : Medieval Poetics and what not : B+
ENG 407 : Computers in Literature : A-
ENG 417 : Graphic Narrative : A-
SCAND 442 : Icelandic Sagas! : A

GPA: 3.650
Cumulative GPA: 3.590

DO YOU SEE THIS, AMERICA? THIS IS ME BRAGGING.

I'd very much like to post these papers. Not because they are particularly good, but because I want to have something to show for all the time I put into writing them. But at the same time, Im worried that if non-university types see them, they'll think Im just wasting my time (because the papers are lousy). Im probably just paranoid.
Im also worried because I don't want my work being passed off as someone else's paper. That would make me sad.

Anyway, Im back. So expect a slew of updates over the next few days.

50% Complete

I have two really big papers left to write. One 10-15 page essay for Graphic Narrative and another 10-15 page paper for Icelandic Sagas. These are the rough ones. My paper for the Computers and Literature course is much shorter and is not due until Tuesday.

I guess what I am saying is that I am going to be pretty busy for a while.

I'll be back soon!

I Haven't Missed The Flu

Hello, Max-fans!

Once again, I find myself apologizing for my lack of appearances as of late. I assure you that I still love you, each and every one of you.
The past few weeks have been very busy, as the last month of the school year often is. I have been assigned six papers in four classes (two of which are now complete!), and also took a quick trip to Indiana along the way.

But the big news is, of course, how sick I have been as of late. On wednesday night I came down with something, though I wasn't sure what. After valiantly going to class Thursday morning, it was clear that the flu was here to stay. I was barely aware that Friday was happening, and subsequently did not get to class. As of today, I am doing much better. I have a few extensions and the papers are getting written (sort of).
For anyone interested my highest temperature was 102.4º. I also had an embarrassing dream involving a hobo and another dream in which my friend Cathy was given a love note via guitar. That is to say, that in my dream a man named "Johann" walked up to Cathy with a guitar, a hand came out of said guitar and delivered said note.

But the real story is that my girlfriend is awesome. Claire came by frequently to feed me, take my temperature and keep my company. She braved the flu and the cold weather to make sure I didn't expire quietly in my room, unbeknownst to anyone. And today, she made me cookies.

AWESOME.

A special thanks to everyone who called, emailed, and otherwise wished me well during my illness. Especially Justin, who drove me to the clinic after having stayed awake for the better part of two days.
And also an apology to many of you (especially my staff, my parents and my good friend Kris). Because of being sick I wasn't able to meet/hang/bond with you.
Im better now, so lets fix that.

Alright, back to the grind.

PS.
I am totally enamored with some of these google tools. EXPECT SOME AWESOME AND TOTALLY USELESS ADDITIONS TO THE BLOG IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE.

PPS.
I have no leads for employment this summer. HELP!

Massive Links Follow-Up Post

I covered a lot of ground in the last post.
Well, not really. But I do realize that there's a lot that I left out. Like, for example, the Chris Ware animation itself!

Do enjoy. I spent a lot of time on it.

Webs of Chance

I recently had a series of incredibly serendipitous moments.
Let me lay this out for you.

I got up late Sunday morning because its the Sabbath and thats what you do. Also because me, Kris, and a collection of assorted roomates hit the Fleetwood at around 2 am. As I write this I am suffering the direct results of eggs and hashbrowns with black coffee at that hour of the morning.
By 9am I was jerked awake after a particularly troubling dream centered in suburbia where I found myself equipped with a floating cellphone that I gripped from below which I used to avoid huge spiders in floating, complicated, three-dimensional orb-webs.
I couldn't float very high with the cellphone - I attribute this to the fact that my phone hasn't been working lately - and I hit one of these balloon webs. When I hit the web an asian grandmother-type figure appeared and took the hit for me. 'Ah! It pinches my butt!' She cried, and I was awake.
I always find it best to rejoin reality after particularly deep sleep by way of internet. I had unfolded my laptop and propped myself up in bed for about an hour or so, pointing and clicking my way to useful consciousness. By 10am I was set up at my desk, using all of my eSkill and iAwesomeness to find and use anything to avoid having to work on my final papers, which are many and manifest. This of course lead me to my podcasts.
As much as I am loathe to admit my participation in something as Trendy.com as PodCasting, I have to accept that you are reading this on (one of) my blog(s) so there is obviously little hope for me. It's too late. Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
I do listen to a few podcasts, though. Only one now, though. The first ever was Ze Frank's the now concluded 'The Show.' His talent has been expressed in several other more frequented and lucrative forums than this, so we'll move ahead. The second is the weekly podcast of NPR's This American Life.¹ I love this show, and have for some time. The almost droning monotone of Ira Glass is so zen, so buddhist monk, and the stories successfully stretch me across an unbelievable expanse of temporal, geographical, and emotional locales that I can't help but love it.³
I listened to a show.
It was great.
It was the end of one of their live shows I had started listening to a few days earlier called "What I learned from Television."⁴ Awesome. Completely awesome. Sheer bliss. There I am, surfing the internet looking for wonderful little April Fools being left by site managers while listening to This American Life. I am so happy with listening that when the show ends I let it just roll into another one. Great! Huzzah! "The Allure of the Mean Friend!"⁵
At some point, during this procrastanotory NPR love-fest, Ira mentions that the This American Life website has been redone and revamped, likely a tie-in with their new TV show⁶ which I am too poor to afford to watch. I meandered, or as well as one can "meander" on the internet, on over now listening to the end of another episode which I had started weeks earlier⁷. The website is really something, with great colors and cool curvey things and Im just having a ball clicking around. Then my eyes fell upon something familiar and I stop.
What I see is a panel from Chris Ware's graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth. It's being used as part of the blurb about the show I was just listening to.
Normally, I wouldn't have stopped. But, if you can recall, this whole thing is about serendipity and something cool is about to happen. It's going to happen right here: because just this past thursday I was discussing that very book in my Graphic Narrative⁸ course at the Univeristy.
I'll give you all a second to inhale dramatically for me.

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that finding that, in and of itself is only moderately cool. A 2.3 on the Cool Vibrations scale.
But trust me, it gets better.
It is at this point that I must reveal that I was in fact looking at many websites at the same time, thanks to the magical gnome rats-in-hats of the internet. You see, there's not a lot of things I can do while listening to This Life. Im pretty much limited to playing video games (the most complex of which cannot exceed Zelda: Oracle of Seasons), and light reading material. It just so happens that I had Wikipedia'd⁹ Ira Glass right before this amazing moment of recognition with Jimmy Corrigan. I do this from time to time with celebrities that I enjoy or particularly admire. I like to chart my progress against them, and then judge my life accordingly.¹⁰
I hope you're all very ready for another cool thing, because it's about to slam you in the face when I tell you that at the very bottom of Ira's wikipedia page, there is a note that he dated popular cartoonist Lynda Barry¹¹ and that details of this relationship are chronicled in her graphic work One! Hundred! Demons!
You should all inhale sharply again because this is another book off the curriculum for my Graphic Narrative course! (Now at a Cool Vibration of 3.8!)

Meanwhile, in WebBrowser window number 8, my search for more information regarding the new This American Life television program (namely where I can watch it without paying for it) yields another reference to Chris Ware. Apparently he animated a brief section of a This American Life TV show. I was very excited at finding this. Chris Ware has a Cool Vibrations rating of at least 8.8 (which is actually so high on the Cool Vibrations scale that I should report it in Von Hugenstein's Awesomeness unit: The Viking), or 5.4vks. At this point, my searching was reaching a fevered pitch. The link at slate.com isn't working!¹² Oh no! Quick: cut to YouTube.
YouTube must have it - they have everything!

It doesn't take long to watch, and thoroughly enjoy, the short piece. The animation is smooth, and looks like it was done in Flash. But that doesn't matter, because it lends itself so well to Ware's style. I watch it at least twice.
After that, Im ready to finish up the episode of This Life that I was listening to way back when this whole thing started. You know, the one about "my brilliant plan?" Its about three or five billion lines of text above this exact spot, so go back, take a look and buy me a smoothie if you're lost.
I flipped iTunes back into drive and, again, get puzzled and have to stop what I am doing. I pause the show, and re-start the animation. And then I run both at the same time.

They have exactly the same theme music playing.

What? What's that?
No gasp? Nothing? Hold on just a second. The animation that I am watching on YouTube, that I found by chance surfing around killing time, has the exact same music in the background music as the show (which I had started listening to 9 weeks ago) I am listening to as I find the animation and you don't think that is completely amazing?!
Don't you see what just happened? I just wandered through a whole network of connections and coincidences, and got hit in the face by it. I just rode my low-flying cellphone right into the complex 3D structure of life's coincidences, while at the same time subtly drawing a comparison between the connection of people and things in life and the way things are connected and expressed on the internet, while simultaneously demonstrating how circular narratives carry a sense of completion which is greater than most!

It's a perfect 5.0 on the Cool Vibes meter.


--------


1². A few days ago I, along with the entire class, received a stern 'talking to' about the correct expression things like books (My Special Hemroid), Poems ('The Last Of The Great Goiters'), quotes ("The road turned and I didn't." (period inside the quotation marks)), and the like. I have no idea how a radio show is meant to be presented. I am also to lazy to look it up. Look, people. Look upon this blog and despair: the internet is degrading our beloved conventions. Tremble, mortals, at the misuse of the italics! The semi-colon! The hyphen!

2. Another strike against Journler - it has not built in superscript function. I had to use the 'Special Characters Palette' where, interestingly, "⁵" is located on line 2710 and "¹" is located on line 230.

3. The other great thing about it is that I can let them collect on my computer and, well, you all know about me and collecting things.

4. Episode 328. I likely used the incorrect expression, or citation or whatever. I'll see you in hell, MLA.

5. Episode 245, rerun.

6. On Showtime, apparently all the time.

7. Episode 324, "My Brilliant Plan." If one was willing, one could actually go through and plot exactly how much time I spent on all this through the subtle clues hidden throughout.

8. English 417, professored by the amazing E. S. Rabkin

9. "Photoshopped" and "Googled" are now acceptable terms, so it's only a matter of time.

10. This is, in fact, a very healthy activity. If you knew what some of your favorite personalities had to do when they were young to get where they are, it makes you think twice about your predicament. A friend of mine was recently struggling with some problems related to his band. He quit school very close to graduating to start taking music seriously. I told him to read the Wikipedia entry on Beck Hansen's early career. If you ever feel troubled about your life artistically, read the Beck entry.

11. I just wiki'd her and I feel pretty bad. She has a whole section, about 25-33%, of her bio dedicated to her relationship to Ira Glass. Truly, a measurement of someone's popularity.

12. What is slate.com, anyway? I hear them referenced constantly on NPR nowadays.

13. BONUS FOOTNOTE: This reminds me a lot of the Hypertexts that we are looking at in my Eng 407 class. Totally wiggy.

Behold! The Winner!

The Blog is not dead.
It was hibernating. It was hibernating because School was just too much for me to deal with. I've spent the past month hiding in the first floor Men's Room of Angell Hall - in the Handicapped Stall, aka. the best stall.

There's much to talk about! But since this is my first day back I don't want to pull a muscle so I'll keep it simple.
Over my spring break - many moons ago now, Phillip Eddy received his prize for winning the DESIGN MAX'S GIRLFRIEND contest.

See pictures over at the Picasa thing

Now many of you out there have stuff coming to you. Be patient, and you shall be rewarded!

It sure is good to be back on the internet.

An Update For the Future

We were going pretty strong with the blog thing, and then I got back from Break and had to deal with school again. 'Ts a bad time, these past few days. Way too busy. The Gargoyle budget needs to be finished up, and I have a board meeting to go to on Monday. Not to mention all the papers in my immediate future.

Bear with me, I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, here's Bob Dyaln singing the words to popular Dr. Suess books. Not really, but they sound awfully convincing. Dig it.

Free Wilco Trak!

For all those Wilco fans out there, the band is offering a free track off it's upcoming album Sky Blue Sky.

Dig it here.

The track listing for the album is also available in the 'NEWS' section of the site. Sadly, it looks like the amazing song 'Lets Not Get Carried Away,' didn't make the cut. That's really too bad, because there's nothing better than listening to Jeff Tweedy declare his intention to, "rock myself - today."

In other news, I have reached a new level of decadence. This morning I awoke and breakfasted on Orange Juice with Fillet MinJon(sic).

Travel Blogging

Im in Indiana! Hooray!

I got kind of a late start today. I woke up at eight, turned off my alarm and promptly slept for an additional two hours or so. Not too fantastic. But I made it to the bank, rented the apt., and grabbed lunch at Ahmos before hopping in my car and speeding off into the sunset.
I started traveling in earnest at around 12:40pm, and made it in at 5:30 which isn't too bad considering that I stopped for a while in Ft. Wayne. By that time I was pretty cheesed about not having my tunes in the truck. So after pooping and eating at Arby's, I stopped in real quick to buy a $20 FM transmitter for the iPod. The dang thing is completely ridiculous. It only broadcasts on four stations, all of which are very close to each other, but I suppose it works. The ridiculous thing is that it's about the size of a regulation hockey puck and plugs directly into the iPod. If I were them, I would not have included a picture of the device in action. But they did. And it did make me rather disheartened.
Buying the transmitter was pretty essential by that point, because about an hour after Ft. Wayne, all the decent radio disappears and you're on your own. For the return trip, I'll probably just run down the AAA batteries in the puck and take my chances once I can get in range of something not playing an eclectic mix of 70's crap-rock.

There is something very wrong with American radio. I believe earnestly that it has not changed an iota since 1975. With the exception of Christian stations and "ALTERNATIVE" (read: crappy) stations it's pretty much just Stevie Nix and Boston all the time (with a little Journey thrown in just to make sure you get every last bit of food out of your stomach).
Guess who now knows all the words to 'Jungle Love?' Ans: Me!

What's really weird is that the production of the shows still sounds awful. It's the same kind of "wacky" DJ voices, and all the ads sound like low-budget affairs recorded in mom's bathroom. Its especially sad because really interesting music radio, of the variety that used to be featured on WDET, is dead. Which is awful, because it was that station that introduced me to The Sonic Youth, Calexico, The Pixies, and my beloved fav-band Wilco.
NPR is pretty much setting the standard for quality radio production - and why it's not being followed is simply beyond me.

Enough about music - I am here in Indiana, so posting will officially be dubbed "IRREGULAR." Once I return to Ahn Ahba, with it's many fruits and WiFi,I'll get back on schedule.
Im going to try to make dinner tomorrow. Pray for my dear grandmother.

This Is Now The Blog About Blogging

[Edit: Man, this post is really boring. I'll do better next time.]

As some may have noticed, I've started to step-up the whole blogging thing. The way I figure it, it's probably good for me. True, it does take up some of my time - and with school pressures and what not, that might not be such a great idea. However, I retort thus:

Firstly, it forces me to write. I enjoy writing, and it's something that I really want to pursue. Who knows, maybe even try to make a career out of it (one way or another). My good friend Keith, who is much wiser than me, once told me that if you want to write then you need to make time to do it. In the sense of everyday. I may not be pulling off everyday, but Im at least doing something.

Secondly, as anyone who knows me can attest I am not the most organized of people. The idea of having a deadline and trying to stick to it might just form some of those good habits that I keep hearing about. So far, it's working alright as an experiment in self-discipline. Most days I get the posts finished on time, but I haven't gotten to the point where I have worked ahead and proof what I blog. Hopefully, that will change. I've started to get into the habit of working ahead, writing smaller not so great posts that I keep around as a buffer. With any luck, this buffer will evolve into a system for creating quality, finished material.

On the subject of blogging, I've been experimenting with new ways to blog. Nothing to crazy yet, I've got some cool ideas that have yet to be realized but they'll have to wait. For those of you that are of age and don't mind the occasional poop joke, some of these new ideas might just come to fruition when we launch the Gargoyle 3.0 site. Anyway, lately I've been playing around with blogging clients.
A 'blogging client' is an application which I use to write and post to the web. For a long time Journler was my client of choice. I could do all my writing in Journler, which stores all the scraps and makes them searchable. Its main convenience was the ability to post to multiple blogs. I could write something for TalkingEds, Alive and Kicking and LiveJournal accounts and manage all the posting from Journler.
However, the update of Blogger has left Journler looking ragged about the edges. It can't handle dealing with the new Blogger system and has no support of tagging posts - a handy method of organization that I've tried to employ into my posts.
I gave Ecto and Marsedit a spin, but both were just not playing nice with blogger and neither seemed willing to play nice with tags.
So Im sticking with Journler - for now.
But I do need a change.

There's been some rumblings via email and comments that people want to learn about viking longships. Viking longships are totally awesome, and I am working on a little something to share for all interested parties.

In the meantime, I must ready myself for my journey to Indiana.
(Leaving Ann Arbor: Wed. Morning)
(Leaving West Lafayette: Sat. Morning)

Talking to Students

Now as you all know, this week is the University of Michigan's Spring Break. As we speak, thousands of students are leaving the city of Ann Arbor and wandering home, navigating primarily by landmarks and the promise of free food and laundry services. Many of you, out there in the world, do not live in Ann Arbor and may be stunned by the sudden re-appearance of people you haven't seen in years. Do not be alarmed! As the University vomits its beloved students upon your community, you may be wondering how to deal with interacting with people that are your intellectual, physical and social superiors.

It's very easy, provided you follow these simple steps:

1. The Approach
Your average UM student is a feisty weasel. After weeks of sweet talking their way out of assignments and foraging for edibles , they will seem at first skittish and stand off-ish. When you spot one, approach with bent posture to show your submission before their self-importance. Be sure to have cash and burritos protruding dangerously from your pocket, It's often helpful to say in a loud voice, "Oh no! My money and my dinner are hanging precariously out of my pocket!" Allow the student to snatch them away, thus affirming their sense of superiority. Once the student has begun to inspect the burrito, you can move on to step 2.

2. The Greeting
After getting the attention of a student, you should now greet them as soon as possible. The greeting is essential - do not forget to greet the student! First, feign ignorance of their level of education. Ask them, 'where do you go to school?' When they reply, immediately drop to the ground placing both hands firmly on the pavement. Immediately beg their forgiveness for your own stupidity and ask them to lay their hands on your head so that you may know the sensation of touching brilliance. Only after they have touched your head, should you rise - but never above their height.
Continue with the greeting by offering them land, wives, and the use of laundry facilities. The practice of 'gifting' is very important to the UM student - give them something. Be sure, when singing the praises of the student that all the correct honorifics are used. 'Sir,' should be used only for a freshman, 'Lord' for a Sophomore, 'Great one' for a junior,' and 'Galaxor Nebulon - ruler of the 12 Nefftel Clusters of the great outer arm - whose eyes shall command all he sees with great wrath and vengeance' for a senior. All female students should be addressed as, 'Madame,' 'Empress,' 'Honey,' or 'Shnookums.'
Once the student has allowed you to make eye contact, may you move on to the actual conversation.

3. The Conversation
For the non-student, the conversation phase is the easiest of all of the steps. Simply ask, 'how are things at school,' and then do nothing. You will note an instant twinkling in the students eye, and a sudden lightness about their person. They will immediately launch into a long tirade centered around very long words and very difficult concepts. They will, however, not really understand what they're talking about and will veil their ignorance as much as possible.
Do not attempt to ask for clarifications, simply nod while the student speaks and comment on how impressed you are. Though proud, the student is easily wounded, especially in discussions of his/her academics. They must feel as if they have accomplished something, it's best not to rob them of this one indulgence - its what they live for.

4. The Escape
Though you may love them, you certainly do not want to have to listen to a student all day, and now that you have got them going its going to be very hard to get them to stop. There is no way out of a conversation with a student, except to deflect the conversation on to something that the student fears. Ask them about their finances, about their love lives or about their plans for the future. You'll notice an almost instantaneous change. The student will shrink back, as if poked with a stick. This will not, however stop them from talking. Instead, they'll launch into a lengthy explanation. Do not them being their explanation. In the split second of indecision after you ask them you must quickly run out of the room. It may help to throw glitter in the face of the student so as to confuse and disorient them. If you can afford it, you can also through Gary Coleman.

- - - - -

Hope nobody gets rubbed the wrong way by that. It seemed funny to me at the time.

The Precursor To The Main Event

Well, Im out of School. At the moment I am in the TroyDizzle, mixing it up on the familial kitchen table. I've just filled myself with two days worth of delicious home made meals, but sadly I must leave tomorrow. It's imperative that I return to Ann Arbor - The Big Sleazy - and engage the final stages of my hunt for an apartment.

And I hope you don't mind that I took a few days off to enjoy some vacation time. I actually spent a good chunk (small chunk) of it doing homework, but I think we are finally passed that now.

Tomorrow will mark the beginning of the UM Spring Break. Stay tuned for an important update.

PS.
Yes I plan on being in the Indiana most soon - probably mid-week. But first I need to get a hold of Grandma.

Quick!

Last night just did not happen in terms of the Blog - my apologies! I did, however, write a pretty awesome paper, so I think it's a worthy tradeoff.

RESERVE THIS SPOT FOR A POST - SOON!

I Like To Toss Things

I've got another paper due Wednesday that I have started working on. Claire's been sick all weekend and I've been taking care of her. Put 'em together, and I've been a busy bee. Non-stop run-around since Friday night, at least.
Please accept this humble filler post, prepared for just such an emergency.

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The other day I was standing in the shower, like you do, washing my hair. Being a totally hot dude, this kind of a problem since I have wash some serious footage of hair. This leads to really long showers, simply based on necessity. I also take forever because I wake up freezing every morning. I honestly feel like I receive all my body heat for the day from the showers I take in the morning. Which - of course - results in even longer showers. I need to recharge my heated core! It's vital!
So, Im taking this 1,000ºC shower, getting ready for my day, and I bend over and pick up the shampoo bottle by it's cap. Then, I did something amazing. I deftly flicked my wrist and released the bottle into mid air for a fraction of a second. At more or less the time the bottle was loosing all it's upward momentum and was on the cusp of being pulled tub-ward, I grabbed the bottle at it's center. I did this for a better grip before dispensing it's cleansing goo. I do this all the time, and not just with shower goo bottles! When I was in marching band, way back in High School, I would do the same trick with my clarinet to get a better grip. Everyday, I whip my cellphone out in the same manner. I hardly ever drop it.
I heard on NPR that famed soccer playing "BECKEM" (or some such thing) performs thousands of calculations in seconds to be able to intercept a flying soccer ball with his head, and send it in for a goal. This involves differential equations, which anyone who is taken higher math than me (which is apparently everyone) can tell you are very hard. Some of the first computers were contracted by the US Defense Dept. to calculate firing tables utilizing differential equations, basically so that the allies could win the war. At least that's what they tell me in my Computers in Literature class.
Anyway, humans do really hard math instinctively and for the most part we do it really, really well. Ever watch those videos of dudes bouncing off walls like theirs something wrong with em'? Yeah. Thats some heavy physics, dudes.
As I was standing in the shower, marveling at my abilities, I wondered 'was this all learned? Did I work all this out as a baby or was I born with these instincts?' Of course, I have no idea what the answer is, but while washing out the conditioner, I had another thought: 'what if a baby was taken to another planet that had similar gravity, but not exactly the same, as our own planet. Would the kid be able to do these neat tricks? Or would his DNA, hard-wired to thousands of years on Earth be unable to cope?'

Still, I have no idea.

We need someone to find a planet and volunteer a baby.

It's a late post tonight, but I had a very important paper due at 11:45 - which is RIGHT NOW - that had to be done. I wrote on the use of visual devices in William Joyce's A Day With Wilbur Robinson. This is one of my long time favorite books, and it was a pleasure to research. But writing it was a different story. I've been behind all week in classes, couple that with the daily work in addition to assignments I was looking at a rough couple of days no matter how I sliced it.
But the paper is done, and that's the important thing. Right?
Nope, sorry.
You see, earlier in the week we were uploading files for the class. And I screwed up the filename. Im not very good with the CTools system that we use for uploading, I guess that's my defense.
Anyway, I was told to basically 'don't screw up again.'
Well, I did. I messed up the filename again. Hopefully, I will be forgiven.

Tomorrow I have to do a presentation on Viking Ships. Hopefully I can get it finished up before 11am tomorrow. At the moment I am watching the Fifth Element - which I have never seen in it's entirety. So far, it's the coolest thing to happen to me all night. I wanted to go out with Kris tonight and get post-Valentine's Day candy, but I just have too much to do.

That's all kind of a downer isn't it?
Let's go to the Mailbag.

In the commentary from the last blog 'Barb' asks, "why is it called Green-land? Was someone being funny?"

Actually, yes. Or rather, someone was pulling a con job on the Norweigans and the Icelanders. The actual discovery and colonization of Greenland is recorded in the Vinland Sagas, which I have to present for a class tomorrow! How convenient! Eirik the Red, son of Thorvald, left Norway because of some killings. In Iceland, Eirik was given outlawry for other troubles and decided that he should go on an ocean voyage. Eirik constantly discovers Greenland. As it is written in the Grænlendiga Saga, page 50, Eirik "named the country he discovered Greenland, for he said that people would be much more tempted to go there if it had an attractive name."
Aren't the Icelandic Sagas fantastic? Everyone should read them. You can read more about the Norse discovery of North America in The Vinland Sagas.

'Aunt Julie' wrote, "You were leafing through a Popular Mechanics from 1953??? Were you in Back to the Future?"

No, but I was spending a cozy evening in the Gargoyle office! There's nothing funnier than old Popular Mechanics, and we draw on them often as a comedic source. Serously, I need to scan some of those - they are awesome!

Alright, back to work. I've got a lot of learning to do about viking Long Ships.

It's A Mite Chilly In Here

It's been snowing in Ann Arbor ever since the top of the page, and looks like it's going to stick around for a while.

Oddly, everyone is complaining. This isn't so odd an occurrence, this is winter we're in and we are all stuck in Michigan so complaining about cold, inclement weather is not unheard of.
So the weird vibe, Max? Simple: because about 8 months ago (or so) everyone was talking about how BAD global warming is. Everyone saw the Al Gore movie and was - at that moment - deeply concerned about adorable polar bears and the fate of the world on the whole (but mostly the adorable polar bear). So, here we are, experiencing what is relatively normal weather for this time of year and everyone is complaining! This is what you wanted! Good ol' normal Michigan winters!

Actually, Global Warming continues to terrify me. I heard last week that some massive chunk (23 square miles, that's 23x bigger than the Vatican) of ice broke off and melted in a few days. That's pretty scary! I've also heard that Greenland is melting really fast. While the loss of Greenland would improve the overall perspective of maps all around the world (it's always depicted much too large), it's not cool that it's disappearing. Hopefully Iceland will survive long enough for me to go and visit it.

Another thought on Global Warming: I was leafing through a Popular Mechanics from 1953 and even back then they were talking about a 'dangerous warming trend' across the world. They even used the same pictures of the same receding glacier that Gore used in his movie! Wiggy! They do, however, come short of really addressing the problem in the magazine. Every time the interviewer comes close, he veers off and starts talking about 'cloud seeding' or some other crap. Ah well.

Someone needs to remind me to upload that sometime.

Todays piece of media is the first ten minutes of what is going to be a fascinating documentary on Will Eisner. Link

Also! Today I celebrate my 1 year 1 month and 1 day anniversary of blogging on Blogger. Huzzah!

Twitter and Vertigo's DMZ

Some of you have already started asking, "Max, just what is twitter functionality?"

Twitter is a sort of global away message. From phone, computer, or instant messenger, you can tell the internet what you are up to. I know, it's totally lame. But I got bored a few nights back and didn't have anything better to do. So I made a twitter account.
The 'Twitter Live Updates' box on the right shows the last thing I sent to the Twitter Network. Think of it like a super-compressed update to the blog.

[EDIT: I've noticed that the twitter box is really lagging the blog's load time. Let me know if it's worth keeping, or if it's just too irritating.]


Recently, I started reading "DMZ," published by Vertigo. Link. It's an interesting story centered around a young journalist who finds himself trapped in Manhattan - the battle ground of America's next civil war. With obvious allegorical ties to the War On Terror, the title easily could have slipped to being nothing more than someone's soap box. But the writer has stayed focused on what's really interesting in this series - the characters and the environment that they're in. I should take a moment here to digress and also mention that so far, the only irritating thing about DMZ is that our protagonist 'Matty' does occasionally become the writer's mouthpiece. His idealism and naivete draw screaming breaks on an otherwise tight story.
The people 'Matty' meets are complex and mysterious, and if nothing else I keep reading just to see who stays a friend from issue to issue.The backdrop is uniquely modern, where in the face of a war on their porch regular Americans are able to put together some kind of life for themselves. This is really a marked departure for the languishing sense of self reliance and apathy that you get from reading the news.
Both somewhat anarchic and uplifting in the face of the face of the times we live in, the series is hailed as the 'next big thing' in comics. It seems pretty good after 12 issues, but an extended run will show whether it can really stay together.

This is something that I have noticed in long-running series of any variety. Like a projected image, a character fades further away from it's origin. It becomes indistinct and nothing more than an uncertainty. Hopefully this won't happen to DMZ.

The Return of the Blog

Well, it's been a long haul since the last real post.

First came the ridiculous video problems with my computer. You'd be sitting there just dandy and then all of a sudden the screen decided that it was a modern art video installation made by a collective of art students with an overly clever name. "Bad Apple," "Äpfeln von Video," or "You Won't Be Finishing That Paper Anytime Soon." Something like that.
After that came the loss of RAM. I cannot stress enough how irritating it was trying to use this computer with only 256mb of RAM. I know it seems ridiculous - my last laptop had 64mb and was considered a pretty 'RAD RIG' at the time (I am lying) - but it's true. iTunes was basically off limits, and iPhoto was out of the question. I could run maybe three programs at a time before things started really slowing down. However, it really speaks to the power of OS X since the only software that actually rolled over and died was VLC. Not saying that VLC isn't awesome, because it really is, but it didn't seem to like the situation.
During the time the RAM was missing - which was basically up to yesterday - my dear uncle Mark died. It was a wonderful service, held in Kentucky. The best funeral I have ever been to. There must have been hundreds of people in attendance, and with the family at one time or another.
And I don't know what else to say about that. I've found that it's only the important things that are hard to write about. Stuff like the alliterative patterns in Beowulf, that's easy. Important things are hard.

I better write this paper, it's due tomorrow.