Move Along

I had a great long weekend. You see, last week I put in 80hrs by Thursday so I took Friday off. I felt totally recharged, which was excellent since I went north to Michigan to see my brother and sister perform in their middle school play.

Y'all missed out, that's all I can say. These kids put on a hell of a show; I left very impressed. Made me wish I had the nerve to do such things.

Grandma and Uncle Mike also made surprise appearances, and we all learned the true meaning of Facebook!

Thankfully, I also had enough time to just hang around and I enjoy myself. And interview dad. I'm hoping I can cut it together to be something worthwhile, but there's some technical difficulties. Best laid plans and all that.

If you're keeping score at home, this week has been pretty rotten for me. I've had some foul ups at home that kept me from getting the work done that I wanted to. Nothing earth shattering, but when work doesn't go as you plan it's just frustrating. Thankfully, I think the Weapon System Handbook will be off my plate pretty soon. It's been interesting, but I'd like to get some closure.

Anyway, not too much going. Nothing interesting, at least. Here's some stuff that's far more entertaining.

---
I cannot embed the video, but The Mysterious Stranger is absolutely fantastic. You must watch it -- this is not optional.

---
Behold, the History of the Internet! You've always wondered, haven't you?


---
I remember seeing part of an episode of Twin Peaks when I was child, and being terrified by it. But after hearing so much about it, how offbeat, weird, and influential it was, I simply had to see it. In my Sophomore year of college, Justin and I watched most (if not all) of the series, and were completely blown away.

I remember saying, "Why can't TV be like this all the time!?"

Anyway, it's all available for free now. So you have no excuse but to watch it. That and The Prisoner. You gotta watch 'em both!

---
Best name you'll read today? Probably Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberdorft Sr. He's a leap year baby!

---
I you like terrifying snow globes, then have I got something for you!



Someone should buy me one of these for my office. Or maybe buy me all of them.

---
Oh, hey. I forgot, but last night I got caught up on all my emails yesterday. That seems stupid but for me it's a big deal.

Ok, move along now.

Liked Spam, A Lot

It's been a busy few weeks in Max-land.
With classes winding down there's been papers galore, and what few exams I have require studying. Or at least requisite fretting.

This past weekend, Claire and I sojourned to East Lansing to join my family in glorious celebration of my father's birth. East lansing was chosen as the site of such festivities because:

A. It is the home of El Azteca, Mexican restaurant famed throughout the land for gigantic salads.

and

B. Spamalot was playing at MSU's Wharton Center for the Performing arts.

Spamalot is, if you are unawares, a musical spin-off of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I say "spinoff" since it is certainly not an adaptation of the film. The play goes in different directions than the movie, and very much it's own production. Where the film focused on lampooning campy King Arthur movies, the play spends most of it's time mocking broadway productions (spec. "The Song That Goes Like This," and "You Won't Make It On Broadway (If You Don't Have A Jew)") as well as a myriad of broader, more topical points. Though Spamalot occasionally draws on the film for familiar gags and plotpoints, it does so with a fresh new spin. The "Anarchic Peasants" scene from the movie is re-imagined as the origin of Sir Gallahad, and takes a moment to mock The Phantom Of The Opera along the way.
Despite it's success, the play is certainly under the shadow the film, and making comparisons between the two is inevitable. The taunting by the French is a scene so familiar that it's difficult to see it done anew. Yet it's author, original Pythonite Eric Idle, and director, Mike Nichols of Nichols and May, seem aware of this and have clearly strove to not let the play be just a remake.

It's great for fans of quality satire, people that enjoy a fair amount of cursing and lewd material in their plays (me! me!), and anyone with a sense of humor. If you're looking to test your knowledge of python material, and are one of those people that insist on reciting the "Knights Who Say Nee" sketch verbatim, then don't go to this play. And stay out of my house.

Anyway, the play was fantastic. You should all see it. Don't buy the soundtrack, though. You have to see the play to really appreciate it. Claire and I had a great time (apart for the hour where I got lost in East Lansing), and so did the rest of the family.

Happy Birthday, Dad! You're awesome!

---

At this moment, I am in the basement of Cafe Ambrosia, waiting for my study group to arrive. Keith was in from DC where he works professional weiney burger starer. Awesome! Matt Thompson, of Mason Proper fame, was here too! Cool!
Me and Claire are going to try and see The Golden Compass tonight! Fantastic!

---

Just saw Golden Compass! Fantastic!
Also: I guess George C. Scott really needed the money!

Rolled Up And Eaten In A Pasty

Remember how I said that I'd check and see if there was some kind of deeper meaning to my trip the Upper Peninsula? Yeah, there isn't one.

I drove for a really, really long time. I counted mile markers. I pulled over for gas when my gauge went below 3/4 of a tank remaining - I was very paranoid. I saw huge windmills. I crossed a huge bridge. I got scared when outside of Munising, because there were ice flows in the lake. It was at that exact moment that I realized I was very, very far away from home and that I might be in trouble.

In Houghton, land of trees, I hung with Nate and his roomate Stu. Nice guy, Stu. Reminds me of someone - but Im not sure who. At some point while hanging around I noticed how well me and Nate work off of each other - we were just going back and forth with stories, commentaries, theories and general blather with machine gun speed. A good time, for sure. I have great friends, Im surely quite lucky.

We chitty-chatted late into the night. Very late. I didn't have much sleep in my system while caravanning back from the frozen north, but I did fine. Im told that the distance I traveled north is the same distance midway into Tennessee if applied southward. And to think I did it twice! It was remarkable to see the trees get greener and greener the farther south I went. Since most of the time anyplace you looked at up there seemed to come out of an ecology calendar, the drive was a lot like flipping through a Safari Club publication very quickly.

Im still pretty worn out from the whole thing. But by gum, I enjoyed myself. I take it back, there's some meaning in there somewhere. I'll write a book, and then let the students figure it out.

Here's some pictures:

The Great Northern Transport

Massive Michigan (word for trip beginning with "M")

Im back in Troy, at the Eddy Team Base, preparing for the single longest car trip I have ever endured.

Such a thing is, by definition, unprecedented.

The story begins many years ago in High School where I met a kid named Nate, in band class. He played sax in the campus band and I played clarinet, but somehow we met up. Fate? Naw. Its like sifting river gravel, which makes all the sediments of like mass move to the same area - drawing all the emeralds together. Did you like that? Did you see what I did there? Its a metaphor, describing how I feel about my serendipitous meeting with a dude who has continued to be a very close friend and creating a comparison between my homies and precious gems.

Anyway, we went on to have many misadventures through our highschool days, and since our graduation he's been making his home in the great white north, at Michigan Tech. Tomorrow morning, I will rise and get into my car. I'll turn on the newly installed stereo deck and rock out hardcore for 9.75 hours until I reach his pad.

I just checked, and I don't think there's any deeper metaphorical edge to this trip. Although I guess I won't really know until I get back.

See: map of amazing trip.

See Also:

Pictures of me and Claire at the Zoo!

Talking to Students

Now as you all know, this week is the University of Michigan's Spring Break. As we speak, thousands of students are leaving the city of Ann Arbor and wandering home, navigating primarily by landmarks and the promise of free food and laundry services. Many of you, out there in the world, do not live in Ann Arbor and may be stunned by the sudden re-appearance of people you haven't seen in years. Do not be alarmed! As the University vomits its beloved students upon your community, you may be wondering how to deal with interacting with people that are your intellectual, physical and social superiors.

It's very easy, provided you follow these simple steps:

1. The Approach
Your average UM student is a feisty weasel. After weeks of sweet talking their way out of assignments and foraging for edibles , they will seem at first skittish and stand off-ish. When you spot one, approach with bent posture to show your submission before their self-importance. Be sure to have cash and burritos protruding dangerously from your pocket, It's often helpful to say in a loud voice, "Oh no! My money and my dinner are hanging precariously out of my pocket!" Allow the student to snatch them away, thus affirming their sense of superiority. Once the student has begun to inspect the burrito, you can move on to step 2.

2. The Greeting
After getting the attention of a student, you should now greet them as soon as possible. The greeting is essential - do not forget to greet the student! First, feign ignorance of their level of education. Ask them, 'where do you go to school?' When they reply, immediately drop to the ground placing both hands firmly on the pavement. Immediately beg their forgiveness for your own stupidity and ask them to lay their hands on your head so that you may know the sensation of touching brilliance. Only after they have touched your head, should you rise - but never above their height.
Continue with the greeting by offering them land, wives, and the use of laundry facilities. The practice of 'gifting' is very important to the UM student - give them something. Be sure, when singing the praises of the student that all the correct honorifics are used. 'Sir,' should be used only for a freshman, 'Lord' for a Sophomore, 'Great one' for a junior,' and 'Galaxor Nebulon - ruler of the 12 Nefftel Clusters of the great outer arm - whose eyes shall command all he sees with great wrath and vengeance' for a senior. All female students should be addressed as, 'Madame,' 'Empress,' 'Honey,' or 'Shnookums.'
Once the student has allowed you to make eye contact, may you move on to the actual conversation.

3. The Conversation
For the non-student, the conversation phase is the easiest of all of the steps. Simply ask, 'how are things at school,' and then do nothing. You will note an instant twinkling in the students eye, and a sudden lightness about their person. They will immediately launch into a long tirade centered around very long words and very difficult concepts. They will, however, not really understand what they're talking about and will veil their ignorance as much as possible.
Do not attempt to ask for clarifications, simply nod while the student speaks and comment on how impressed you are. Though proud, the student is easily wounded, especially in discussions of his/her academics. They must feel as if they have accomplished something, it's best not to rob them of this one indulgence - its what they live for.

4. The Escape
Though you may love them, you certainly do not want to have to listen to a student all day, and now that you have got them going its going to be very hard to get them to stop. There is no way out of a conversation with a student, except to deflect the conversation on to something that the student fears. Ask them about their finances, about their love lives or about their plans for the future. You'll notice an almost instantaneous change. The student will shrink back, as if poked with a stick. This will not, however stop them from talking. Instead, they'll launch into a lengthy explanation. Do not them being their explanation. In the split second of indecision after you ask them you must quickly run out of the room. It may help to throw glitter in the face of the student so as to confuse and disorient them. If you can afford it, you can also through Gary Coleman.

- - - - -

Hope nobody gets rubbed the wrong way by that. It seemed funny to me at the time.