Thursday, January 19, 2006

Bad Pig!

Once again, I walked out of The Blind Pig (local club and concert venue) with my ears ringing and vowing never to return.
The only reason I was there in the first place was to support long-time Gargoyle writer Matt Thompson who plays all sorts of wonderful devices in local band Mason Proper. They're pretty good, and worth looking at for sure.
Now, their set was pretty awesome. Since the last time I saw them, late last year, they have really filled out their sound and are a much tighter group than before. Compared to most local bands, these guys have a wide repertoire, and have fuller more professional sounding songs. Unfortunately, to get to these budding rock stars, I (we) had to sit through three of the worst bands that I have ever seen.
First up was some crappy, weaky-achey sounding semi-emo crapfest. They were immediately followed by a marginally more entertaining group. I say marginally, which might make you think I enjoyed them. This would be untrue. The second band played way too loud for so small a club, and also sounded confused. The vocals were never together and the performers seemed more focused on nifty stage-shinanigans than actually PLAYING music. They reminded me a lot of the bands I saw in high school, at the Troy High "Battle of the Bands." This is not a compliment, its a hint. And the hint is that I thought they were childish.
The last, and the worst, of the non-Mason Proper bands was supposed to have been the best. Matt Thompson said, "they're bigger than we are, I don't know why they're playing before us..." Matt Thompson, they're playing before you because they are the worst band in the history of music. Whoever survives/sticks around is worthy of hearing your oh-so-indie pop-rock. They took the stage with the largest set up, and looked quite promising! One performer even had a trumpet! Cake has trumpets! This will be good! No.
They were so loud, you could hear the Pig's oversized sound system buckling under the pressure. They were so loud that my good friend Kris had to cover her ears, and that's saying something considering that she's into metal. They were so loud, that the trumpet player was blowing at full force into a microphone and still could not be heard. This is probably my biggest complaint about these guys; had they perhaps turned down the volume to something a little less mind-shattering, I would have been okay with them.
Three of the six band members would not stop with their stupid Jagger impressions. The lead singer was terrible, constantly gyrating about the stage like some kind of MTV rooster. The most laughable of this foolish cadre was the trumpeter/tambourine player. His soul function was to blast the trumpet on occasion and then to feebly smash a tambourine amidst the raucous noise they created. Think of an even more useless and ridiculous Stevie Nix, and then change the gender. You'd have it.
This band, like the previous, also carried out a series of disgustingly rehearsed stage antics which I found to be completely obnoxious considering that they sounded so bad. Please, I beg of you young aspiring rockers, fix your dang music before you practice your amp-jumping.
So the morale of the story is to buy Mason Proper's new album. Its cheap and sounds really great.
The implied morale is that the Blind Pig sucks, and that every time you think of going there you should go to the Fleetwood and get an omelet instead.

No comments: