Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Submitted For Your Approval: CLAIRE

Here's the lady of moment CLAIRE BARKER!

Please enjoy, she is quite lovely. I like her.

People have asked me if Claire has found this whole exercise creepy. The answer is, 'hopefully not.'

Announcing the Nobel Prize for Awesome!

ATTENTION ATTENTION!

After taking Claire out to see popular film Borat this evening, the winners were finalized!

First and foremost, thank you everyone for participating. It was a lot of fun for me, especially since I figured that no one would enter at all!

And let me say again that it was not at all easy to make this call. I have agonized over it for several days (in between agonizing over homework things) but they're playing my song and I have to face the music.

Now, here's the entrants.

Each was fantastic in its own way. But at the end of the day, the winner is:

PHILLIP EDDY

Phillip chose a solid route with Laura Croft, but was able to present it in a truly unique way. Not only that, his well-worded witicisms pushed him over the edge and into the winner's circle. Sir, we salute you.

Phillip will receive his choice of grand prize! Either a Viking Stikfas action figure, or a bead and wire maze.

The four runners up are listed below, in no particular order.

1. Rob Eddy's "Claire Chicago : Girl of Danger" - With his first entry, Rob was a heavy contender and cinched it with his second. Rob, I am having a beauty mark attached as soon as I can.

2. Mary Everett's "Ah - ROMA!" - A latecomer, but surely a strong one. Combining elements of fast food and classical archaeology, Mary's work reveals the true great divider: the shovel

3. Julie Gillikin's "Max & Lady" - The first entrant to the contest set the bar very, very high. She brings the funk with some serious ol' skool flava.

4. Barbara Ratner's "Maxine" - In what I think to be Post-Modernism, Barbara's submission stood on it's own as something truly awesome.

And in a stunning upset the two Eddy Children will receive special "Judge's Choice" awards. These two broke away from the competition and captured the true essence of the competition. Miles created the only 100% computer-generated submission, in the true tradition of his brother, with MS-Paint. Julia's was the only completely hand-drawn real media submission, setting her (like her brother) into a separate category. Kudos, you two! Shine on, you crazy diamonds!

The Runners up will receive an Ikea rat and octopus - ADORABLE!
In addition to that, the two Judges Choice winners will receive special judges choice awards!

Thank you all for participating! The next contest will involve Allen Ginsberg and Norm Abrams in someway!

ATTENTION ATTENTION!
Stay tuned for pictures of the REAL Claire come Wednesday!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Awesome Sins!

In what I hope to make a regular feature on this blogmachine, I present to you my first recorded AWESOME SIN.

Last night, my friends and I planned to go to the movies. A Shot In The Dark was playing at the Michigan Theatre and I knew that I would be hungry by the end of the movie. I stopped in at the White Market and grabbed some vittles - I was out of food anyway.

Now, one of my (many) secret shames is a particular fondness for canned, jellied, cranberry sauce. At some point in my youth, it ceased to be just a seasonal indulgence. With the knowledge that it was available all year round, I occasionally bought (and consumed) whole cans at all odd times of the year. As a child, it was difficult to finish an entire can - I often got sick of it after half a can.

Cut to 10 years later, and me standing in the White Market. I know that I will want a snack to take with me. I know I'll be breaking the rules - so I might as well go all out.

We arrive a few minutes late for the movie (thankfully, before the opening animation). As soon as the musical titles begin, I whip out my can opener. I've got the thing open before the producers are listed. Even though I've brought three clean spoons, my friends are disgusted by the idea of eating it straight out of the can. I dine alone, but very satisfied.

Biblical Sins: Gluttony
Societal Sins: Taking "outside food" to the theatre
Absolution: Recycled the can

STATUS: ABSOLVED

Monday, November 20, 2006

While You Wait

The deliberations continue. It really is a lot harder than I expected, and I appreciated your continued interest as the contest enters it's final stage. In the meantime, please enjoy this movie I made last year.

I took the NASA animation and added some music and sound effects to make it a little more palitable. It's not funny or really imaginative, I just like space ships.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

THE CONTEST IS OVER

Ok, so I missed announcing the end of the contest, but that is just because I am so postmodern. Also, because I got about 5 submissions after the end of the contest.

So, it's over now.

But when will the winner be announced!? The plebeians are clamoring at the gates and demand an answer! Well, here's how it's going to work. Claire and I will review all of the submissions based on the single criteria of "AWESOME. "

The official winners will be announced no later than Tuesday. Everything gets done on Tuesday.

When we began this great and noble project I initially thought that it would be incredibly easy to pick the winner(s). But, now that we're nearing the end, I have no idea (honestly!) who the winner will be.

It's been a lot of fun doing this and I hope you will all wait with baited breath for the WINNERS.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Contest Enters Final Week!

Yesterday marked the beginning of the last week of the Design Max's Girlfriend competition. The competition is rough, and making a decision will be no easy task.

If you have been aching to enter this contest but have, for whatever personal reason, remained a FENCE SITTER than I beg you, in the words of a great American, "Mr. Gorbochev, tear down this [fence]."

Also the Gargoyle is done! My first entirely original issue as editor came back on-time and under-budget today at 6am! We're also making some money, we still need about $1,200 to break even, but that is a lot better than where we were last year.

Unrelatedly, I'm coming home to Troy tomorrow to vote. If you are in the TROY AREA, feel free to pursue me.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Design Contest Update

Hell, folks!
Well, we have a little under two weeks left for the DESIGN MAX'S GIRLFRIEND CONTEST and already 4 submissions are in. They're all looking great and I am pleasently surprised to see so many!

I'd like to point out that the contest is not just for my family members, but anyone that so feels inclined to participate.

In other news, I am sending the Gargoyle off to the printers tonight. Oh boy!

Keep the submissions rolling!