Saturday, September 06, 2008

Here Comes The Story of the Hurricane

Hanna hit us around 7am. I don't care if it's a Tropical Storm, I am going to call it a Hurricane. Sounds more impressive.

As referenced in my twitters, I had to take Tenzing out to pee this morning in the rain. Unfortunately, the little blighter stayed true to form and needed to sniff around for about ten minutes before he could poop. Have you ever stood out in the rain, commanding your dog to poop in an authoritative voice?

The Weather Channel says we're in for 6" of rain -- possibly more. Cool.

Today's Playlist

1. Hurricane -- Dylan

2. Rock You Like A Hurricane -- Scorpions (Note: appropriate, since we are going to be rocked like a hurricane, and not actually by a hurricane.)

3. Hurricane Eye -- Paul Simon

4. Any Credence song, since they are all about rain

5. Down in the Flood -- Dylan/The Band

6. The Hurricane Song -- The Kids from C.A.P.E.R.

Friday, September 05, 2008

I Am Totally Going to Get Hit By a Hurricane

In case you haven't been watching along at home, the entire East Coast is about to get drizzled on by Tropical Storm Hanna.

I've never been in a hurricane, or a tropical storm for that matter, so it's pretty exciting! Everything I have read indicates that I don't have anything to worry about. I am not going to stock up on food, but I did check to make sure I had matches and working flashlights.

Keep an eye on the storm -- I know I will.

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One thing you may not know is that Washington DC, and the surrounding cities, are protected from major inclement systems with a series of massive earthworks and ground support system. This system is called, "Delaware."

According to all public documents, Delaware is a state like any other. It is in reality, a gigantic buffer zone to protect vital government institutions and free museums from storms, and giant lobster invasions.

The main line of defense is thousands of box fans designed to blow away major storms. Behind that is a barren No-Man's land of land mines, concertina wire, and pots of boiling water (to frighten the lobsters). Recently installed trip lines are intended to cause hurricanes to trip and fall on their faces, as they are notoriously clumsy.

The final defense Delaware has to offer is a catapult which launches citizens of Delaware towards impending threats. While this may seem on its surface as a horrible, callous thing to do it is easily justified. In reality, Delaware's citizens are not citizens at all but specially designed clones labeled with a hexidecimal number. These clones are used as cannon fodder in the event of Lobsters, and human shields in the event of Hurricane.

Once, a Delaware clone got loose and escaped his fate on the catapult. He now goes by Floyd, and he owns a KFC franchise in Madison, Wisconsin.

Behind the mass of bristling pungee-stick lined pits that is the lonesome expanse of Delaware is the massive labyrinth built on the holdings of Maryland. More than a few hurricanes have lost their way in its seemingly endless passages. Their mournful cries can still be heard inside its echoing halls.

Don't believe me?


View Larger Map

Monday, September 01, 2008

Google Chrome

Google is making a free, open-source web browser forged of vampire and werewolf resistant silver, imbued with the blood of St. John and pieces of the True Cross and debugged by Jesus himself.

Not really, but they get pretty lofty when they talk about it. Enough to get me excited (it does not take much to get me excited).

The important thing about their announcement is that they have decided to do it via Comic Book. And not just any comic book, but one made by Scott McCloud (Understanding Comics, Making Comics, Zot!)! I love McCloud!

Take a gander.

Everyday Can't Be Sunday...

The trouble with holidays is that when you are unemployed, they are a hinderance and not celebratory. Sure, I could use it as an excuse to not get any work done, but I already did that last Tuesday, and it was a day without distinction.

When you are waiting to hear back from perspective employers, publishers that might want to buy your story, or people you've contacted to interview, weekends and holidays are terrible days. This weekend/holiday was particularly annoying because the Metro has ceased servicing our station for some major track revision. Sure, you can hop a shuttle bus to DC National (I was told by a particularly tired and vitriolic DC native whom I met in the JFK airport that I should never refer to it as "Reagan") but that it is unbelievably annoying.

I should channel my restlessness into writing, or working for the Obama Campaign. Or just swallow my pride (and dreams) and take another gardening job.

---

It's actually been a very nice weekend. Tenzing finished his medication, and he seems to be completely recovered. Today, he went to the dogpark for the first time in ten days. It did him a world of good -- he was also going stir crazy.

Claire has finished her orientation, and will begin classes in earnest on Tuesday evening. We agree that being a student is the best vocation.

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I realized that I didn't really talk at all about PEI. Nor have I delivered any pictures. I will rectify this shortly.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

One Down...

For Better Or For Worse is ending.

Now for Marmaduke, Garfield, Cathy...

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Maybe it's the fact that the Funny Pages of the Newspapers have an all-ages audience that they are so dreadfully bland, but the Sunday Comics have been a desolate place for a while now.

Pearls Before Swine and Non-Sequiter are the only two genuinely funny strips I can think of off the top of my head. Doonesburry doesn't count, because the Detroit Free Press moved it to the Op-Ed section.

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It's been cool for three days and rainy for two. Is fall almost here? I'd like that a lot.

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Am I trying to make a new record for the most posts in a month? I don't know, am I?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

James Jean Leaves Fables

James Jean, the truly fantastic artist behind the covers of Fables is moving on to personal projects.

Words cannot describe how upset I am. Even the weakest Fables issues were ramped up by the fantastic covers.

Sniffles.

4F4FA413-05AA-426F-A1AA-55FCF2A084A4.jpg

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Garg In The News!

Claire came back today. She's tired, and I think I might be slightly ill in the belly.

But who cares about my abdominal terror! The Gargoyle is famous again!

Read about it! Read about it!

Cathy Fisher is the current EIC. I handed it off to her. It's a shame that there isn't much interest to do a story on the Garg. There's so much great history in there, as well as wonderful people.

Despite having so much trouble trying to get a job, I don't regret a minute of the time I spent at Student Pub workin' on the Garg. Except for the hours I wasted listening to the Pixies and staring at the wall.

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Been trying to install MySQL on my computer so I can work on WordPress locally. It's not going well.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Top O' The Morning

For the first time since I got cable, I am not furious at MSNBC. It tuns out that when there is something actually going on, and real issues to talk about, these guys aren't so bad!

Maybe I'll warm up to CNN or FOX? Probably not.

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Skeletons of cartoon characters. This is so cool.

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Bob Thompson from the Washington Post discovers comics! Holy crap!

What bothers me the most about the article, and the responses from those interviewed, is that everyone is acting like comics just appeared out of nowhere. Ostensibly, this is because Thompson is interested in the elusive "Graphic Novel," but there is a whole history of comics that begins before graphic novel.

Everyone is acting like it's a shock that comics are popular, not remembering that Superman made a mint back in the 30's, and that comics didn't hit hard times until the 70's.

Lastly, I think it's silly to draw distinctions between graphic novels and collections of single issues. Most collections end up being organized by story arcs, so there is no reason to consider them as something less than a "graphic novel." Crime and Punishmen, and oodles of Dickens were written as serial magazine pieces -- we still call them novels!

All in all it's a pretty good article, and I am glad to see so much attention given to a great medium. My favorite bit is Scott McCloud answering why comics are so popular these days:

"Comics. Got. Better."

I think he might be right; I think the last decade has seen some truly amazing stuff.

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Have you heard of Okami? I am told it is a great game. I bought it for the Wii sometime ago, but I haven't played it yet. Why? Because I promised myself I wouldn't until I had a job.

Anyway, CAPCOM used art from IGN.com for the cover and just now got around to issuing replacements. They look pretty awesome.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Earthbound, Penguins, Elitism

A penguin has been granted Norweigan Knighthood.

How the mighty land of vikings has fallen.

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My friend Kris has an interesting post about why having an "Average Joe" in the White House is a catastrophically bad idea.

This is the same reason why I do not listen to any show that has a call-in segment that values the opinions of the average listener/viewer.

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Real-live rocket scientists say that, as of right now, we will never reach the stars.

I beg to differ. With the current job market, I am willing to bet that there are thousands of college students hanging around, not doing much, that would love to be blasted into space as part of a multi-generational flight to the stars.

With all the English Majors that would (undoubtedly) be on board, expect a glut of star-gazing based books of poetry, and multi-volume epics with titles like, "Spending 40 Years Sharing A Room With A Man Named Carl Who Snores," or "Doesn't This Thing Have 'Reverse?'"

Of course, I assume they'd go crazy and end up eating each other. Maybe we should send cults into space? I think most of them are expecting it anyway. They're already trained to invest their lives in sketchy plans.

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Tenzing has Kennel Cough. It is potentially dangerous, but the vet is not concerned. I'm medicating him with antibiotics, and he seems to be doing fine. The sneezing is actually kind of cute.

The only downside is that he can't play with other dogs, or go to the dog park. He is not impressed.

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Dig George Abbot White's photos. He's an alum of the now defunct Generation lit-mag, but hangs around with the GargALUMS a lot.
Try to find me!

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Applied for many, many jobs today. Many in journalism, many in publishing.

Free-lance articles shaping up nicely. Here's hopin'!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Claire is in Iceland

Having finished her stint in PEI, Claire has gone off to Iceland with her family.

She sent me this picture of the Law Rock at the Allthing. I am exceedingly jealous, and would love to go back.

photo.jpg

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Oh Yes, The Interviews

The first week in August I had two interviews -- that's right, real-live in-person interviews -- for jobs in the DC area.

The first was with SAIC, specifically with an independent group within the company, part of which is currently doing the communications for PEO Soldier, the group which does procurement for the Army.

The second was for a grant writing position with PlanetAid, a group which deals in clothes donations.

The SAIC interview went pretty well, although I got the impression that I might not have the level of experience they were looking for.

The PlanetAid interview did not go well. It took me two hours to get to the interview, because of traffic and bad directions. I was slightly late, but I got the impression from the conversation that it wouldn't have mattered if I came in on time. It was made clear to me that they were not interested in an untested grant writer, although they did suggest that I could be brought on as a "misc. copy writer." However, that discussion was also pretty fruitless because of the 4-hour round trip commute. To be honest, I am not interested in that much driving, and I don't think they are either.

I am still sort of in touch with some people at SAIC, and there might be more developments on that front.

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I am more disappointed then I sound, but I know I have to keep trying.

I am still sending out many, many applications (several unsolicited resumes as well) but have decided to venture a few steps down The Dark Path.

The previously alluded "Dark Path" is where I start writing articles and shopping them around to magazines and newspapers. It is the beginning of Freelance Writing. While I like to imagine that such a career involves being either a grizzled, lovable rogue or a noble knight clad in shining armor, I suspect that the reality might be...something else.

To be clear: I am still looking for a full-time job. However, with so many (understandable) concerns about my experience and work history, I figure it would be prudent to pad the resume and try to make some money.

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If you've been following my Twitterings, you'll notice that I did some traveling this past weekend.

I flew out to Prince Edward Island, the location of Claire's family reunion. This involved her mother's family, who gather at different locations every year. PEI, as it is called, is especially beloved since it was where Claire's grandmother was raised during the depression (as I am told).

Take a look at it here. PEI photos to follow, but this is already much too long.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Not Virginia

Amazing story of the Peg-Leg biologist.
You must read this. If you read nothing else on this blog, read this.

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John Dobbertin, GargALUM extraordinaire, gets a mention in the Wisconsin State Journal. He's set up a massive exhibit on humor magazines, of which the Gargoyle is a big part. Check it out.

Virginia

First things first, my current address is:

1801 DeWitt Ave, Unit E
Alexandria, VA
22301



Also, many thanks for the lovely cards, e-greetings (via facebook or otherwise), and packages that have accompanied my birthday. It's been great!

Traveling

Early on the morning of August 1, Dad and I set off on a great adventure. We began with Dad commenting on the fact that I hadn't showered that morning. My logic was, as always, impeccable: there's no point in me showering if I am going to be sweaty and nasty by the time I show up!

Our route was pretty straightforward, and was quite pretty. I-70 through Ohio was a beautiful prairie dawn. Further east, the seemingly unending hours on the Pennsylvania Turnpike offered some truly fantastic views -- immense gorges, infinite acres of green trees, hundreds of miles between rest stops, etc.

Unfortunately there are no pictures of any of this. However, this is probably a good thing since my truck was handling so poorly under the additional tonnage of all my worldly possessions that it would have been well-nigh impossible to use a camera and stay on the road. All loaded down, Bucephalus did look like the Beverly Hillbillymobile, which made me happy. It was a real trick to stay about 65mph when going up hills, though.

We relied partially on our wits and natural sense of direction to get us there. I stuck my nose out the window, using my superhuman senses to track my way towards Virginia. Dad, ever the woodsman, would stop occasionally and inspect the trees and undergrowth in order to find out exact location, and the direction we should go from there. The Garmin GPS unit was also very important.

We had no problems in our journey until we neared D.C. proper, where we were hindered by poor road design and bad traffic. Finally, we appeared in Alexandria, in our finery. The total trip time was about 11 hours.

Moving

The moving and unpacking process was relatively painless. By the time we had arrived, Claire's stuff had been unpacked and put away. In short order, my things were brought up and the apartment was filled with new boxes.

Over the next day-or-so, the boxes disappeared. Claire's family (and friend) were invaluable in helping us get things set up for habitation. Though Dad could not stay the whole weekend, he did me the huge favor of setting up my brand-spankin' new shelves. They look fantastic.

By Saturday evening, 95% of the boxes were gone and the apartment has reached what may be considered it's final form.

Virginia Apartment: Awesome

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By request, here are more pictures of Tenzing, the Puppy.
Tenzing

Sunday, August 03, 2008

"We are monkeys with money and guns."

I have moved in to Virginia! Post regarding this coming soon! What follows is a post about other things!

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Tom Waits proves that, once again, he is one of America's greatest natural resources.

Here's an interview he performed on himself -- naturally, without a license.

And here's his press conference video.

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Have you seen "Garfield Minus Garfield?" It's a simple idea. By removing Garfield from the comic strip, it becomes clear that Jon is insane -- trapped in some kind of personal, existential hell.



The Beat informs me that there is a forthcoming book of Garfield Minus Garfield. However, it will include the original comic strips. This does not impress me.

What does impress me is that Jim Davis, noted sell-out and Garfield artist fully supports and endorses the Garfield-Minus-Garfield concept. While this moves him up several notches in my book, I suppose I should not be impressed. He's already repackaged the Garfield concept in as many forms imaginable for fun and profit; the next logical step would be to sell you the same product but without the product.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The End Of An Era

I have left the Student Pub Building, where I spent more time in college than any other single location, never to return as a student.

Tomorrow, I am moving away from Michigan. It will be my longest, most comprehensive move.

I have said goodbye to (some) childish things, and put many of them (read: junk) at the curb after cleaning out my room.

These may be huge, shocking developments in my life but none of them can hold a candle to this:

IMG_0284.JPG

That, friends, is my Bondi Blue iBook being sent in for recycling. Purchased weeks after their release the blue book sported a ridiculously small 2gb drive and originally ran OS 8.6. It weighed 9.6 lbs, ran at a moderate 300mhz and had a whopping 64mb of RAM onboard. Though it was wireless-ready, it did not have the optional AirPort card built-in.

Godspeed, Bondi Blue iBook. Perhaps I will meet you again, refashioned into a better, functional, computer.

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Perhaps I am being overly harsh. I used it for years, and despite being dog-slow and woefully lacking in storage it still performed the duties I asked of it. Before recycling, I booted it up to remove any important data. After at least four years without power, it booted like a dream.

The laptop was not recycled with Apple's idiotic program, which would have required me to buy a new computer, but via Office Depot. I walked in, I put the ol' mac in a box, and am completely eco-guilt free. That's worth $5.

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I just got a rejection letter from the Georgetown Research News. This is particularly unfortunate, since it was the last publication that was on my radar.

Travel Plans -- Virginia Bound

Dad and I are zipping off at 7am from Chatteau De Eddy in Troy, with hopes and dreams of arriving in Alexandria before 5pm.

Behold!


View Larger Map

At least that's the plan for the moment.

--

Tomorrow, I pack. Tonight, I listen to Ezra Furman and the Harpoons for the 50,000th time.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Have Ira Glass Confront Your Friends!

Have a friend that doesn't contribute to NPR? Stick Ira Glass on them!

From the This American Life blog:
Hi there. Ira Glass writing this. A few weeks ago, I met this listener who had an idea for the pledge drive. He said he had a close friend who listens to public radio every day, but never pledges. He said I should call the friend and record the conversation as I try to talk him into pledging. He said I should get other listeners to turn in their non-pledging friends.

I'll admit, I'm not totally sure if this is a smart idea or not. But it seems worth a few phone calls to find out. So I'm turning to you.

I'm writing to ask you to turn in a friend. If you know someone who listens to public radio avidly, several days a week or more, talks about stuff they hear on Morning Edition or Car Talk or our show, but they never pledge...I'd like to give them a call. I'll be nice, I swear. But I will ask them why they don't pledge. And I'll try to talk them into pledging. And I'll record the whole thing and—if it works—I'll put it on the radio.

So...if you know someone like that...send me their names and a sentence or two about how much public radio they seem to listen to...and their phone numbers. Don't warn them that I might call. And send me your number too. I might want to begin these little pledge segments with the person who's turning in the deadbeat listener.

Send all the info to radio@thislife.org with the subject "Turning in a Friend."

One more thing. This whole scheme probably only makes sense if the person turning in their friend is someone who pledges. So if you don't pledge, please know a) we're still friends b) you're in the majority; most people who hear our show never pledge and c) this little scheme I'm cooking up for the show is probably one for you to sit out.

Okay. I think that's everything. Thanks for your time.

Ira Glass


Guys, do not rat me out to Ira. I don't want him to know about my failures. Also, it probably won't help me get a job with NPR if I don't donate (often).

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Knol

Google's answer to Wikipedia?

knol.google.com has a collection of articles it calls Knols -- further defined as a "unit of knowledge" -- which is searchable. So, it IS exactly Wikipedia, except that you see who the authors are, they present credentials.

Interesting idea, but I don't think it will make a dent in the Wikipedia crowd. However, you probably could site this in your College essays and not get a stern talking-to from the prof.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Don't Trust Your Instincts

I received this rejection letter a few days ago:

Dear William,

Thank you for submitting your resume to [name withheld]. Your resume has been received and reviewed for the [position to which you applied]. Your qualifications for the position were carefully considered, however, other candidates appear to have backgrounds better suited to the needs of the department.


They "appear" to have backgrounds better suited to the needs of your department? You sound unsure, or condescending. I can't tell.

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As you may have gathered from my Twitterings, I had some car trouble yesterday. The break line went, and I lost compression in the rear brakes and had very little in the front. The annoyance of having car trouble was nothing compared to the emotional trauma of having to pay for it. However, the car runs great again and will propel me southward, toward D.C.

Weird octopi with more than eight arms. How many? Try 85.

Completely awesome Rubix Cube solving robot made of Legos. Finally!

I move in 10 days.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Background Music

The outcome of this lawsuit is critical.

If the suit is defeated, it might set a precedent against the use of copyrighted music in YouTube videos. Can you imagine the consequences? Nothing but free-license background music or awkward silence in all YouTube videos. Truly, the end of days.

I don't really know where to come down on this one. If she wins, it will certainly be appealed. The likely argument being that there is too much room for abuse.

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I can say all of this with full authority because I am a make-believe legal scholar with a Doctorate of Law from Imaginary Univeristy (Go Dragoonicorntalopes!).

Friday, July 18, 2008

Pack Different

For those with bingo cards, I am back in Troy and have begun packing up my room.

That's not interesting, but this is:

Chessboxing! Sport of Kings!

Amazing pictures of a royal funeral in Bali.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

But Why Arizona?

I recently returned from a brief trip to Arizona. I'm sure that anyone watching the TwitterBox noticed that I was there, though I realized (a little belatedly) that I didn't explain to many people why I was there.

Claire (girlfriend) spent two summers at the Homol'ovi National park, working with UM Professeor Lisa Young. After those collective weeks of sweltering, scrubbing, scraping and learning the entirety of Southwestern Ceramic typologies, Claire produced an award-winning undergraduate thesis based on the data collected from two sites in the park.

One of the sites, HP36, is a pithouse village and was undergoing further excavation when we visited. Dr. young was kind enough to take us around and tell us what everything was, and give us a history of the area. This year's dig brought some very surprising results to light, but I fear that my ignorance on the subject will prevent me from describing them accurately.

Later on, we took a trip out to Creswell, where Claire did her digging and the other site used in her thesis. However, there was little to see since each site is back-filled at the end of the season in order to preserve it.

We were also in time for Suvoyuki Day at the park, where members of the Hopi Nation have various informational booths, crafts, and food available for gawking tourists like myself. The food was fantastic: pit roasted corn is amazing. I also purchased a Cricket-girl Kachina doll, and Claire received the admonishing Grandmother Kachina doll from her mother.

When outside the park, we stayed in Winslow -- home of the famed street corner where Don Henley "took it easy." He's bee immortalized with a bronze statue on main-street corner. Sadly, I was unable to carry out Mojo Nixon's instructions, as the statue was cordoned off due to construction.

However, if any of you happen to be passing through Winslow: EAT AT LA POSADA. It's a gorgeous old hotel by the train tracks, and has some of the best food I have ever eaten. (Protip: Order the Elk, and have chocolate-covered champagne grapes for dessert.)

Arizona


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Some links I have been saving for you:

The NYTimes likes blimps, and so do I!

Save the Totoro Forest.

Surprisingly beautiful pictures of Japanese flood control gates.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Automated Messages

I love the automated confirmation/rejection emails I receive from the employers I have contacted.

Dear W.,

Thank you for your interest in the [name withheld]. Your resume has been received by our recruitment staff. If we determine that your qualifications match job requirements for available positions, we will contact you.


Ladies and gentlemen, I am a letter. And I am "W."

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Twittering Telescopes

Many of you, dear readers, are familiar with the online-phenomenon "Twitter."

I've been doing more Twittering lately, and I'm having a good time with it. I've yet to get it up and running on my phone, but that's my problem.

Today, in my wanderings, I discovered that several radio telescopes in the UK are twittering. They might be the worlds most boring twitterers:

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:33:23.435 +47:18:58) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:34:02.340 +48:09:25) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...


And so on.

Obviously, the only people really interested in these are the researchers themselves. Although, there is something kind of fun about having this kind of knowledge on hand. For bonus fun, take a look at whose Twitters the telescope is reading (hint: other telescopes).
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On another note, more of you all out there should start Twittering. That way, you (like me) can be part of the United Internet Idiocy (UII).

Monday, June 30, 2008

WALL-E

ATTN: INTERNET

Wall-E is the best movie. You should see it immediately.
As you all know, I am a big proponent and producer of gushing praise. In order to spare you all, I will refer you to this review from the New York Times.

Needless to say, I will purchase this movie as soon as it is available.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

From The Horrible Depths of the Internet

WIRED has an article on the upcoming Dark Knight movie. I'm relieved to read about a director that is concerned about the overuse of special effects. Truth be told, the OD on the CG is what killed the revisions of the Star Wars movies for me. The CG took those movies out of their context and confused everything. Now I watch them and I think, "How 1997!" instead of "How epic!" Don't even get me started on the pre-quals.

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The Associated Press has an oddly titled article: Everything Seemingly Spinning Out of Control. It sums up some of the weird vibes that have been floating around lately. It certainly seems that we, as a society(?), are on the cusp of something. Maybe I'm just projecting.

It's worth noting that if you look back at history, most everything was hailed as the apocalypse or something similarly cataclysmic. For instance, I'm told that the rise of the book, as opposed to the scroll, was viewed by some as a herald of the collapse of civilization.

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The Canadian Free Press has a response to "Everything Seemingly Spinning Out of Control." Personally, I think it's a terrible article. I dislike it mostly because it often ignore or apparently misinterpret the original, but mostly because I can't jibe with their beliefs.

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In the wake of my recent rejections from the print/media world, I am going to apply to be an astronaut.

The Biggest Damn Spider, and Other Encounters

Friends, it was two nights ago that Claire and I encountered what I will call "The Biggest Damn Spider," hither-forth referred to as The BDS. We have yet to identify The BDS, but I can describe it to you in disgusting detail.

The BDS was mottled grey and black, with a lighter patch on it's abdomen. The important thing is that it was a good two-inches long, sans legs.

For reference, the largest spider we could find in the Audubon books were barely an inch. It was truly massive. Claire's mother was the only one brave enough to kill it. I am shamed; she saved my life, and now it belongs to her.
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This morning I received an email from the Advisory Board Company informing me that my application was no longer going to be pursued. I am disappointed, of course. But my dealings with ABC have been some of the most positive in my job hunt. They were courteous, accommodating, and responded promptly to all my inquiries.

Unfortunately, I only have one other active prospect. Many applications have been sent (and continue to be sent), but I have heard back from a scant few. I am concerned, but ever hopeful.
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Today, it looks like rain.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Now It Can Be Shown

Upon my arrival in Galena, I noticed that my camera had finally bitten the dust. I was exceedingly disappointed, because it's such a beautiful place to be.

So, rather than deprive you of images I bought a new camera.

Lazy Galena Days



BONUS TENZING VIDEO!
Listen to me talk to a dog in a ridiculous voice!
Enjoy never-before-seen footage OF MY ARM!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Web Finds

The Web-Log, become "Blog," was originally a very literal invention. It was a log (record) of what the author had found on the internet (web). That was a while ago, and it has since evolved to mean many things.

So, back to roots blogging:

From DCist

The original design of the District of Columbia called for the creation of villages for all fifty states. These would be settled by residents of said states, creating a sort of Palace of Versais/Galactic Council system. Too bad it never went anywhere.
However, it's probably for the best. I imagine the wealthier states investing millions in their villages, making it a tacky Disney-Land type affair. "Hello, 'Y'all!' I am a real-life resident of 'Tex-has!' In my state, people dress in 'cow-boy hats!'"

And what of the blander, less stereotyped states?
"Hello, I am from Michigan. Welcome to Michigan Land. Step this way for the 'Rust to Agriculture: A State's Spectrum' log ride."

Olde Timey 3-D

Back in the day, when Zoetropes were cutting edge special effects, entertainment was a simpler thing. People enjoyed "Stereograms," which were two offset photographs that appeared 3D when viewed through special glasses. These have been revived as 2-frame GIFs. The images are flashed very quickly, creating the illusion of three dimensions.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Million Dollar Goldblum

Last night, I dreamt that the world was facing imminent peril and/or disaster. A southern gentleman -- thin, in a white linen suit with moustache -- had some kind of spherical craft filled with Gold Bullion. Jeff Goldblum, noted actor, wished to escape the amorphous impending doom and asked to get a ride with The Southerner.

The Southerner declined, then Goldblum ripped off his suit coat (also white) revealing several metal ammo belts filled with money. "There's 1.5 million dollars in there," panted Goldblum.

"Sir, you just bought yourself a ticket!" The Southerner replied.

---

Due to the horrific flooding, the Julia Bell Swain has canceled all her landings on this end of the river. I am quite disappointed. The very nice lady on the phone said they hope to be back around September. I guess I will have to make an early fall trip to Dubuque.

Besides being the subject of a beloved song, the Julia Bell has a fascinating history as seen here, via Wikipedia. Also of interest is a list of competitors and winners of the Great Steamboat Race. It confirms that, as Mr. Hartfod claimed in song, "she beat the Belle of Louisville, she beat the Delta Queen."

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh hi, guys!

I was just sitting here wondering why Stephen Fry hasn't offered up a new blessay or podgram when I suddenly remember that I too have a blog of sorts.

As many of you all or no doubt aware, I am staying at the Barker Family Compound in rural Illinois for the month of June. It's quite beautiful out here -- green, hilly, pastoral. From the back deck of the house, you can see the Mississippi rising inexorably higher.

My days are spent with the dogs: Tenzing, the puppy, and Bodri, the elder. Having not spent any long periods of time with dogs in years, save time spent on uncle Mike and aunt Bonnie's farm, it's endlessly entertaining. And often, frustrating.

The DC Job Hunt continues. I've had some good responses, and have made it to higher tiers with some companies. Two in particular stand out, but it's a long process.

---

Unrelated to me, Norweigan cartoonist Jason -- whom I adore -- has as an interesting interview with Wizard. Go on and take a gander.

I'd like to conclude with Jason's take on David Bowie ala The Little Prince.
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Sunday, June 01, 2008

Hometown Flick

Word has reached me that a movie-film is being shot in Ferndale, the hamlet of my youth and childhood. My church is also one of the locations!

My enthusiasm is guarded, as I have discovered that the film in question is a Lifetime channel made-for-TV release staring Sigourney Weaver.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Oh well, I'll probably watch it on YouTube or something.

LINK

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Briefly Noted: eFame

My eFame continues to set the world ablaze.

Now I must return to completing another application for the Atlantic magazine.

Quickly:
While I was sick, I did a phone interview with comics publisher Fantagraphics. I had a raging fever, was naked, bedridden, and sweated profusely throughout the course of the six-minute interview. At one point, the following exchange occurred:

Fantagraphics: What is the worst thing you've ever had to do at a job?

Max: Well, once I had to chase out some homeless people, and then bury their feces.

Fantagraphics: (silence)

I don't know if I perhaps misheard her question in my delirium, or if she thought I was trying to be funny. Either way, I did not get the job. It's just as well, since it would have required me to relocated to Seattle for several months.
I bear no ill-will towards Fantagraphics: more than anything I am pleased to have been given the opportunity and am utterly grateful at their flexibility while I was ill.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sick, Again

Moments after completing my last exam of college, I feel stricken with some kind of flu thing.

Claire is taking care of me. I will recover soon. God help me, I will graduate.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Have You Heard About Sark?

Sark! The tiny island nation off the coast of England!

Sark! The last bastion of Feudalism!

Sark! Was once the target of a one-man invasion by an out of work French nuclear physicist armed only with an automatic weapon!

Sark! Were said invader was arrested by the island's volunteer constable on a park bench!

Sark! Where if you recite the Lord's Prayer in Norman French, followed by an invocation of a Prince, at someone you think is wronging you they must cease and stand trial.

Sark! Where the last Clameur de Haro, as it is called, was used in 1970 during a dispute over a garden wall!

Sark! A place I simply must visit!

SARK!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Attack and Release

You should all go out THIS INSTANT and purchase the Black Keys' album Attack and Release.

It is excellent. More to follow on why this album is fantastic, and on other things like graduation soon to follow.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Pit Bulls

My friend Kris has done some work for this worthy organization.

Help the puppies.

Colorado Pitbull Rescue

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Lazy Sunday Edition

I got up early and called around to a few of the properties in D.C. that I have been watching on Craig's List. Several were not interested in renting in August, which is interesting. I guess I am too used to the Ann Arbor time table of leasing, which holds that if you do not have a lease signed by February, you are out of luck.

There are a few places that look quite good, and are willing to lease and I'll be visiting them next weekend with Claire.

---

On Saturday I met Tenzing.
He is adorable.

---

Last night I bought an AP Style Guide; The Elements of Style, by E.B. White and his mentor William Strunk Jr.; and Writer's Market.

Can I have a job now, please?

---

It looks like I'll soon be writing for the Beachwood Reporter, an online culture magazine based around Chicago. Though I probably won't get paid from the gig, I've really enjoyed blog-writing (here, and elsewhere) and given the fact that it's rather in vogue these days having a few more on my resume can't hurt.

---

Today, hoping to rekindle my fervor for Starcraft II, I downloaded the Zerg Awakening Trailer. I have to say that I was disappointed by 80% of it. The writing, and especially the voice acting were god-awful. You have to wonder what was going through their heads as they wrote/recorded/mixed/edited/reviewed this short 133mb video.

The monologue is bombastic, and sappy. It tries very, very hard to have an epic edge, but it falls flat. Instead, coming over more as sophomoric. To me, it sounded like the kind of thing that some gothy teenagers had thrown together in their spare time and dropped onto YouTube.

Also: Blizzard is starting to bore me. I used to feel like there was some differences between the style of their games. However, everything is starting to look more and more like World of Warcraft. There doesn't seem to be much flair or originality to the design of anything anymore. Did they sack the entire art department and replace it with one, well motivated, competent, but very boring artist? I have no idea.

The video's one redeeming factor was the in-game footage. That is to say, 50% of the in-game footage was interesting. Half of it was genuinely cool battles taking place on an absolutely massive scale, and a few other, smaller, vignettes of new Zerg abilities. The other half were totally stupefying, if not completely boring, in-game shots. A squad of some kind of air-squid flying over a desert does not stoke my fires and start me reaching for my wallet. Neither does whatever is going on here:

BuildingFart.jpg

Are we supposed to understand that in StarCraft II, buildings will fart at each other?

---

Blizzard has started to rub me the wrong way lately. While I was initially excited to see StarCraft II about to release, I have since become quite wary of it. First, they launch the site with next to nothing on it, but then fail to wet my appetite or keep me interested with regular updates. For a company that made a mint on clever, creative online communities (e.g. WoW) this seems unnaturally stupid.

If this game turns out to be another WarCraft 3, in that it is 3-D, playable, but an overall boring experience then I will be greatly dismayed.

---

Tomorrow, I have to do something funny for the final meeting of my Psychology of Humor class starring the New Yorker Cartoon editor Robert Mankoff. I'm a little scared.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Dog Stays In The Picture

Tenzing


Behold: Tenzing der Überhund!

Claire went out to meet this darling dog this past weekend, and little Tenzing is now spoken for by this particular Barker.

Tenzing, a five-week old male Icelandic Sheepdog is from a breeder in Royal Oak -- one of the few in the country. As soon as graduation unfolds, Claire will be picking up the little guy and whisking him off for puppy training in Galena before bringing him to D.C..

It's my turn to meet him this Saturday, at which time I will present him with one of ten (10) recently purchased dog toys.

I'm sure many of you are wondering about my job prospects and all that, but for now please enjoy more pictures of puppies.

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Banjo Cameo

I have been featured in a work of art done by Adrian Choy. Please enjoy it.



EDIT: Oops! It's too big!
I have to go to class, I'll fix it when I get back.

EDIT: Fixed!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Remember the Point

And the point is to remind the readers that you are alive.

Yes, I am still here (alive and kicking). Spring break ended as all good things must, and I have been in the bosom of Ann Arbor since the beginning of March.

The monday I returned, I started a new mini-course taught by the cartoon editor of the New Yorker Mr. Robert Mankoff. A very interesting man, whose views on the analytics of humor match my own. Actually, that gives me far too much credit. It's a very interesting course, and I'm really enjoying it.

The Gargoyle has entered it's final production phase. We pint on Friday, and will be on the racks come the following Tuesday. That's not a lot of time, and the final form of the mag is not solid yet. But, I am certain we have enough to fill it. Which is good.

Write No Evil is dead, long live The 57th Street Company.

This past weekend I completed the UM Book Publishing Weekend Workshop, lead by Esther Margolis (of Newmarket Press) and Kay Radtke (I might have misspelled that name). It was a fascinating, and arduous, experience but it really did give me insight into the book publishing world.
Why'd I do it? Because I think it might be something I want to do for a living.

There's a Student Pub Board meeting tonight. Usually I enjoy these, since it gives me a chance to relax, have an excuse to do no homework that night, act important and most importantly: get fed. I'm worried because this comes during layout week, but I think we'll be okay.

Oh, and I am attending graduation. At least, I assume I am graduating.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Auspicious Start

I'm on spring break, and I say that it couldn't have gotten off to a better start.

1. Banjo arrived on Friday. Also had a good Garg meeting, despite low turnout (due to break). Also chilled with The Ninja and Co. An activity always guaranteed to lift the spirits.

2. Had a fabulous stay at home with family (and Banjo). Spent many hours with Lyons and Eddys alike. Received notes and advice re: life/banjo from entire family. Also watched The Incredibles for the first time since it's release. I had forgotten what a good movie it is.

3. Banjo stationed in Ann Arbor as I continued to West Lafayette to see even more family. From there, will proceed on to Illinois to locate Girlfriend (Claire) and obtain Opera (The Barber of Seville).

I'm loving this.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Announcements and Happenings

Out and out with it: Claire is going to GWU. It's a little disconcerting since everyone calls it "Gee-Dubya," and I get scared that she is attending George W. Bush University. Thankfully, I have been informed that it stands for George Washington. An important distinction.
Since Claire is headed that way, it follows that I follow. I have ramped up my job/internship seeking. Thanks to Mos Daniel, I have a lot more leads now and I am hoping to find something in the coming weeks. At least I better find something.
In the meantime, Claire and I are searching for housing in the D.C. area. If anyone has any suggestions, please TELL ME NOW.

I get asked this a lot, so I will mention that Claire is getting a Masters in Museum Studies. Her goal is to achieve employment as a collections manager. A big part of her decision on GW was their excellent program, reputation, and the opportunity to intern at the Smithsonian. I sound like an advertisement.
Got a museum? HIRE HER.

Speaking of Mos Daniel, I have started to write for his blog Write No Evil. My modest contribution can be found here, but the whole thing is certainly recommended reading. It's been fun so far, just trying to keep new content on the page. For someone who wants to make his living doing the writing game (e.g. me) it's certainly good practice. Daniel comes to the Garg from the Daily, and we love him dearly. He also looks like Mos Def.

Today is the first deadline for my last issue with the Gargoyle. Strange times indeed. I am pretty pleased that there were so many on-time responses. The Garg has come so far that I hardly recognize it. I have no idea where it will go from here, but I'm glad to have been here.
My cohorts on the staff accuse me, rightly, of getting overly nostalgic about the Garg. Lucky for them, it will stop soon. (CRYING)

These are ridiculous. Seriously, people.

Lastly, I must confess that I am a copy-cat. Or in this case a "copy-cathy!" (Rimshot)
Recently, Cathy (Gargoyle art director, friend) announced that she was purchasing a banjo. She'd talked about it for sometime around the office, and yesterday she went and did it.
So, today I went and did the same.
Now, I will admit to be being partly motivated by jealousy. But the fact of the matter is that I have had a long-abiding want to play the banjo. I have been talking myself out of it for years (I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I don't have the skills, I don't have the commitment), but seeing Cathy fulfill her dreams with nary a backwards glance inspired me to do the same.
It's a Washburn, coming to me cheap from the internet. In fulfillment of ancient prophecy, it is the same kind of banjo won by my father in ages past. The circle is now complete.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Spore

Spore will be the greatest game. If you haven't heard of it, you must have a personality disorder because every single news outlet has mentioned it at least once in the past four years.
We've seen demo upon demo, read the same news about how it will be the end-all be-all, but we've never known when it will be ours.
Until the day before yesterday.

Will Wright, the man behind The Sims and other best-selling games, has told us the time of reckoning and it is Sept. 7, 2008.

For the uninitiated, Spore is a game that starts you as a single-celled critter fighting to survive in a universe that seems to exist only to eat you. As you progress, you can "evolve" your creatures through a series of editors and you eventually find yourself galavanting across the Universe in a spaceship (of your own design).

Whatever I could say about this game would pale in comparison to actually seeing it, so please: partake of these videos.

Joystiq Write up

Hour-Long Explanation


36-Minute Spiel

If you need something shorter, a quick Google search will yield results

Monday, February 11, 2008

Good Lord

I just read over the last post.
It's terrible.

I mean, it's really awful.

If you are part of a company's human resource division, please ignore the previous post.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Yelling Outside of the Saudi Embassy

Claire and I have made it in to Washington D.C. and have begun our takeover plans.
Keith, my friend from Gargoyle days past, met us at the airport and has been our guide in this strange place of towering white stone. He's also letting us stay at his place for free.

Keith, we love you.

The feeling around D.C. is a very strange one. Last night we wandered the town, having parked the car over at the Watergate. How cool is it to say that? Very.

Many of my friends have either lived or worked in the capital, but this is my first time here. Aside from a brief lay-over on a 13-hour train ride.

I feel very strange about D.C.. So far, everything seems very clean, and very empty. Claire describes it as as pretend city: oddly empty, and without the kind of places and people that you might find in a place like Chicago or New York. Though that might be because of the areas we have seen.

There is something strange about the area. I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps its the positively balmy weather.

Today, we're going to see some museums -- where Claire plans to make her livelihood -- and then meet with Claire's dear family friend Lisa. Tomorrow is campus tours and an evening flight out.

Maybe I'll have the place figured out by then. Or maybe it's just too strange for this simple midwest boy.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Feel Free!

Ok, Ok. I relent.
If anyone wants to buy me a 32gb iPod Touch, I won't stop you.

Northlanders

Brian Wood is easily one of the biggest stars in the comic book world right now. His series of short, self-contained comics called Demo made quite an impression and his popularity has exploded with the continuing series DMZ.

Personally, I hadn't had all that much exposure to Wood until DMZ went into trade paperback a few years ago. While I was initially unimpressed, it was Wood's story that drew me in. His characters, his plots were mostly uninteresting, and occasionally laughable. Especially in the most recent "Public Works" story arc (recently collected in trade paperback), Wood has shown such a penchant ham-handed story-telling that it has driven me away from the series. In the end, I couldn't take the irritating mixture of a byronic hero and a bubbling baby, or the Law and Order "ripped from the headlines" plot-lines for more than three books. Perhaps the next trade will redeem DMZ in my eyes, but I digress.

Wood has redeemed himself in my eyes, if only for using Vikings, in his newest continuous series from Vertigo called Northlanders. The story is set in 980 C.E., and follows the dark and violent story of a young Norseman who returns home to find his father dead, and his family's power usurped by his evil uncle. It's all very Shakespearean.

northlanders1_finalcover.jpg

Despite the cast being headed by another brooding, dark-haired man, Northlander holds much more promise than the early DMZ issues did. Sven, the main character, may be dower but he's also capable and has motivation unlike the DMZ's aimless and endlessly naive Matty. This drive seems, at least in the first two installments, to be enough to hold the story together and keep readers interested.

What has impressed me most thus far is how well Northlander represents the period. The big things, like houses, clothing and boats are less movie-Viking and much closer to the real thing. Beyond that, the story is masterfully atmospheric, sometimes with whole panels showing the distant mountains and dark, alienating sea set against grey skies. It doesn't make the Orkney Islands look like a major vacation attraction, but it does capture the quiet majesty, and subtle grimness of Nordic life. The panels look like grittier, dirtier figures from illuminated manuscripts or stained glass. Figures idealized by history, but touched with humanity and reality.

Also, the premise of the story -- a young Viking abroad with the varangians, returning to seek his inheritance from greedy family -- is spot on for period Nordic stories. Even the land-grabbing, similar to the consolidation of power in the Norse world toward the end of the Viking age, seems quite natural.

If I must complain, and I must, I am annoyed by Wood's main character -- but just a bit. While he's more palatable than DMZ's lead, he falls more into the traditional comic book male role. Strong, violent, oppressed, aloof. While these characteristics are certainly natural for a Viking, it's handling seems thoroughly modern. The use of modern-english curses, for instance, just ruins the moment for me, and while I acknowledge that Vikings were probably a surly bunch I am certain that they weren't using words that I know. It's not that I don't think they should be swearing, it's just annoying to see "cursing" passing for being "atmospheric" or "character development."

What might be most exciting, especially for people like me, is not where Northlander is now but where it will be soon. 980 C.E. was the tail end of the Viking Age, and already the world was starting to squeeze them out. By 1000 C.E., Christianity had spread as far as Iceland and the sixty-six years later King Harald would be defeated in England, bringing an end to the fury of the Norseman. A comic series featuring some of the least celebrated and most interesting groups in history, poised on the edge of massive social upheaval is really something to get worked up about.

Personally, and I did say I was biased toward Vikings, I think this is a series that is certainly worth a look. It's very early in the series now, so it could easily go sour, but it has enough going for it to have me signed up -- at least for now.

---

The author wishes you to note that he did not go into an extended discussion of how happy he was to see scorn poles, and other such Norse minutia, and tried to be all "professional."
The Author is also feeling much better, and considers himself no longer sick.

---
Corrected the year Iceland converted.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Rumors

No, not the Fleetwood Mac album. But, in case anyone is interested, my life-size wax replicas of Fleetwood Mac did survive the moving process and have been properly enshrined in my kitchen.

The rumor in question is regarding my health. I am sick. Again. But I am doing much better than last year, where I got sick about four times in one semester. All in all, it's not so bad. Just some kind of cold-thing.

Jamie was kind enough to point me toward this Detroit Freepress interview with Mason Proper's frontman Jon Visger. The band's "Noise/Effects" man is long-time friend of the Gargoyle Matt Thompson. It's an interesting read, a little light on facts and criticism, but I like these guys so I feel I should plug 'em.

LINK.

Now, to drain my sinuses.

Friday, January 18, 2008

A Journey

Sometimes I forget that the primary purpose of this blog is to reassure the world that I am, in fact, still alive.

I am mere moments away from climbing aboard Bucephalus and embarking on a journey westward, to the quaint village of Chicago Town. Claire has arranged tickets for me to see an opera featuring Rene Flemming (sic), and so the journey begins.

UPDATE!
1. The Gargoyle is done! Issue four is ahead!

2. My classes have all met at least twice now and things seem alright. Sure, I have complaints, but it's not going to be too painful a semester.

3. It's lunch time!

So I had better eat.

More upon my return!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

New Year's Resolutions and Their Progress Thus Far

1. Keep better track of my money.
As always, the thing I really hate to do is to buy food. Specifically, prepared food. Unfortunately I have had to do an awful lot of this recently, on account of having consumed the entirety of my fridge before leaving for break.

2. Drink 1 pop per week.
Doing very well on this one. Last week's pop was Jone's Soda Berry Lemonade. Delicious. The downside has been trying to find acceptable substitutes at the aforementioned restaurants. Most of the time this has little to do with my own taste, but the quality of the alternatives. "Light" lemonade is, for instance, disgusting. Also, the "Organic" Iced Tea at Noodle's and Company tasted like eggs.

3. Stop biting the inside of my mouth.
I am very good at acquiring bad habits. In 2004/05, I successfully stopped biting and chewing my nails. I realize now that I only replaced this habit with a much weirder one: biting and chewing on the inside of my mouth. It's basically the same as nipping at your own cuticles, except more disturbing. Anyway, this is going pretty well. But nervous habits are hard to kick. Maybe I can replace this one with pen-chewing?

4. Take 2 long walks per month.
I don't get out enough -- it's a fact. I haven't really touched this one so far, and I feel it to be the weakest of the list. If one has to go, it will probably be this one.

5. Go out with Claire at least twice a month.
Because of School, Claire and I haven't had a lot of opportunities to hang out together. This one will see a lot more mileage (especially in the bowling and billiards categories) once Gargoyle Issue 3 is finished.

6. Read one book (or four New Yorkers) per month.
I got a New Yorker subscription for Christmas! Thanks Jim and Sherri! Anyway, I don't read enough (this might have to do with reading so dang much for my major). It's bothered me for a long time, and makes me feel pathetic around other English majors.

7. Eat Better, Eat Regularly.
This one is hurting right now, especially because of The Gargoyle production schedule (Two twelve-hour shifts!). However, I think this one is the most important on the entire list.

8. Stay In Touch
Make more calls. 24-hour turn-around for emails. More blog posts. Going pretty well so far, I think.

----
Gargoyle goes to print on January 11th. It's the first conceptual issue that I have done since seizing power two years ago. It's not a "theme" issue, like "The Holiday Issue" or anything like that. Instead, there's a unified artistic approach taken to the layout of each article, as opposed to the article's contents.

----
ps.
I was a straight "A" student last semester. Do I win?

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2008

The radio is playing The Beatles.

Maybe we'll get through this.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

A Moment

I think I am going to take a little bit to continue kicking back.

Back soon -- promise!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

A Quick Word

Classes are over. But the fun continues!
I only have one exam left (ENG 350), but it's harder compared to my "eXtreme Weather Exam." Thankfully, I have read 50%+ of Paradise Lost, a little Fairey Queen (Spencer is lucky he's dead so I can't kill him myself), and all of Marlowe's Faustus. I think I am in good shape.

In my off-hours, I am working to rewrite my ENG 425 paper entitled "You Will Not Be An Astronaut." It's arduous, since I have 20 3-or-more-page reviews of it, plus my professor's comments. For me, re-writing is hard enough. Having to do it for a grade and on a time schedule is also straining. But I do have a week left, and I also have some idea of what I need to work on, so it's not all bad.

Also, out of a yearning artistic desire (but mostly fear), I wrote two pieces for the Gargoyle. The first chronicles the adventure of Joseph with Jesus, the bratty step-child. The second is a soliloquy delivered by the Miltonic Satan as he orders chinese food (spoiler: he uses "Stygian" a lot).

A busy time to be sure. The exams and the essays will be out of my (gorgeous) hair by the 20th, which is fantastic because I need more time to focus on the Gargoyle. We're going to print on the 11th of January, but since this is what I can safely call an "artistically experimental issue" it might not be enough time.

But it has to be.

---

X-Mas plans are as follows: Back in the Troydizzle after the 22nd but before the 24th. In Indiana on the 26th. Possibly further south if time allows? Who knows.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Liked Spam, A Lot

It's been a busy few weeks in Max-land.
With classes winding down there's been papers galore, and what few exams I have require studying. Or at least requisite fretting.

This past weekend, Claire and I sojourned to East Lansing to join my family in glorious celebration of my father's birth. East lansing was chosen as the site of such festivities because:

A. It is the home of El Azteca, Mexican restaurant famed throughout the land for gigantic salads.

and

B. Spamalot was playing at MSU's Wharton Center for the Performing arts.

Spamalot is, if you are unawares, a musical spin-off of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I say "spinoff" since it is certainly not an adaptation of the film. The play goes in different directions than the movie, and very much it's own production. Where the film focused on lampooning campy King Arthur movies, the play spends most of it's time mocking broadway productions (spec. "The Song That Goes Like This," and "You Won't Make It On Broadway (If You Don't Have A Jew)") as well as a myriad of broader, more topical points. Though Spamalot occasionally draws on the film for familiar gags and plotpoints, it does so with a fresh new spin. The "Anarchic Peasants" scene from the movie is re-imagined as the origin of Sir Gallahad, and takes a moment to mock The Phantom Of The Opera along the way.
Despite it's success, the play is certainly under the shadow the film, and making comparisons between the two is inevitable. The taunting by the French is a scene so familiar that it's difficult to see it done anew. Yet it's author, original Pythonite Eric Idle, and director, Mike Nichols of Nichols and May, seem aware of this and have clearly strove to not let the play be just a remake.

It's great for fans of quality satire, people that enjoy a fair amount of cursing and lewd material in their plays (me! me!), and anyone with a sense of humor. If you're looking to test your knowledge of python material, and are one of those people that insist on reciting the "Knights Who Say Nee" sketch verbatim, then don't go to this play. And stay out of my house.

Anyway, the play was fantastic. You should all see it. Don't buy the soundtrack, though. You have to see the play to really appreciate it. Claire and I had a great time (apart for the hour where I got lost in East Lansing), and so did the rest of the family.

Happy Birthday, Dad! You're awesome!

---

At this moment, I am in the basement of Cafe Ambrosia, waiting for my study group to arrive. Keith was in from DC where he works professional weiney burger starer. Awesome! Matt Thompson, of Mason Proper fame, was here too! Cool!
Me and Claire are going to try and see The Golden Compass tonight! Fantastic!

---

Just saw Golden Compass! Fantastic!
Also: I guess George C. Scott really needed the money!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanksgiving

Thanks was gave and food was had -- an excellent time.

I went home on Wednesday, after having a lovely visit with Kris and Claire completing her GREs (she did quite well) and the next day we ate together with the Lyons' at their their house in Rochester Hills.

On Friday I journeyed southward to West Lafayette Indiana. The trip was especially notable since I won a game of Monopoly -- against Phil no less!

The trip back was pretty lousy. I hit foul weather around Ft. Wayne, and it just kept coming. The truck handled pretty well in the snow (and the rain, and sleet, and the freezing rain, and the hail(?)), to my surprise, and I made it back alright.

Winter has finally come to Ann Arbor. Today, I actually had to get out my big black coat and floppy-eared hat. Winter is a good season for me, despite the driving issues. Hopefully this last winter in Ann Arbor will be a nice end to my time here.

Another post after I finish this essay on the demonic in Paradise Lost and The Tragical History of Dr. Faustus.

Ps.
Some of you may remember me talking about The Challenge. I ordered it at the Sunrise Cafe in West Lafayette, IN. It's basically a giant pile of eggs, biscuits, has browns, bacon, and possibly more meat, all covered in delicious sausage gravy. I ate the whole thing in one sitting.

Now, there is finally proof.





These surprisingly good pictures were taken on Phil's cell phone. I don't think they really do The Challenge justice -- this thing was massive. Sadly, there are no photos of me and Phil destroying Mank Rage's couches, which happened shortly after my finishing The Challenge.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Das Untersee Prius

Did you know that China is building super-quiet electric/diesel hybrid submarines?

I bet they get great highway mileage.

Oh, also: it seems that those billions we spend on defense isn't good enough because we can't tell where these things are and they can just pop up right next to the U.S.S. Kittyhawk.

It's probably not news to you, but I don't have a radio.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Concerts and Comics and Football

I've been going to a lot of "cultural events" recently. Partly, I think, because it's my last year at the University and I want to get my money's worth.

Two weeks ago, I attended my first football game. It was both disappointing and exciting -- I feel rather torn about it. I suppose my problem is that everyone I met had been building it up for me.

"Oh man, you never forget the first time you walk into The Big House," my co-worker had told me. He said that he felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and marveled at the feeling of being part of something so large.

I did feel something like that. I often complain that since moving out of the dorm I've felt separated from the University. Being at the game was the first time in a long time I have experienced the sensation of being part of a community, a group that shared emotions and experiences. I think we must be hard-wired to seek out these kind of feelings, which is probably why we value family and create our own groups of friends.

I did not have the awe-inspiring psuedo-religious experience that I was promised. I did, however, enjoy a very good game.

Last week, I saw the Russian Patriarchate Choir performing church music and a few folk songs. Less harmonic than a gregorian chant, the singing is as you would probably imagine. Soulful and heavy it filled the room with something like pious joviality.

It was interesting since generally I don't listen to music just for the music. Opera, for instance, is interesting to me not because of the amazing arias or the contra-tenor singing them. I enjoy the plots as much as (if not more so) than the pretty music.

However, the Russian choir was in a totally alien language. Also, I feel like most liturgical music isn't really saying anything all that original. It's generally a lot of praising, and what not. My experience of the music transcended lyrics, and content and was solely about melodies, harmonies, and voice. It was a truly excellent experience, even if I didn't get the jokes that everyone (or rather, every Russian speaker) was laughing at during the folk songs. I suspect some of the members of the audience to be Kossacks.

Tonight, I saw Madeline Peyroux. The concert went pretty much as I imagine. I tried to think of some clever similes to describe it.

"Like drinking the best coffee out of a mahoganey cup."

No? How about:

"Like drinking hot chocolate while sitting in your robe, watching the rain spray across flame-orange trees on a grey autumn day."

I guess it's easier to just say that it was the most mellow experience of my life. Peyroux, who sings like a Frenchier Billie Holiday, was backed by jazzy quartet consisting of a keyboard/pianst, electric guitar, electric/stand-up bass, and drums. The end result is that I felt warm and sleepy the entire time.

Lastly, I found the artist who did my favorite comic from the Flight collection I bought three years ago. It is completely fantastic, and you should all read it.

I haven't forgotten the promises I have made to this blog, but I keep getting distracted. Sometime, soon.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

BIO PIC'D

The evidence clearly shows that Martin Scorsese will not stop until he has made a Bio Picmovie about every single artist that was in his record collection in 1974.

It does look kind of cool though.


---
Edit: I didn't like my use of "Bio Pic." Really, only the Dylan movie was a Bio Pic. I suppose it's open for debate. The title is staying, though.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Things I've Said

I know, I am way off the schedule that I hinted in the last post.
But I have a really good excuse this time.

The whole alum thing last week dominated my time, but it was completely awesome. I love the alums - there will be more on this later, and I do promise that.
Anyway, the Alums were here and Kris was staying with me (RAD!) but that meant we got no work done on the issue that weekend. So we've been burning the midnight oil all week to layout the issue and also do fun things -- like carve pumpkins.

We just finished. The issue is entirely done. We're doing the copy-edit corrections Friday afternoon, and it will be sent to the printer's before end of business tomorrow.

I'm going to sleep so well.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Wes Anderson Situation : The Second Line

After my post made directly after standing in line for the quickest five hours of my life, I did not in fact fall asleep.

Actually, I went to Midas and had my car repaired. I'm not saying what exactly I had done because it was embarrassing. I will say that it cost me $5.11.

A little later, I was lounging in the Gargoyle office. Mostly sleeping and pretending to read The Argonautika. Zack, the man for whom I was standing in line for that morning, dropped in and quickly grabbed the coveted wrist band with only moments before the interview with Wes Anderson was scheduled to start at Borders. He returned, glowing, half an hour later.

He said his life was better.

It's hard to describe what happened next. There was a lot of going back and forth, yelling, and negotiating. I'm going to try to get this across to you, gentle reader, as succinctly as I can.

Cathy Fisher, my friend whom I spent the morning in line with, called me from the new line forming outside of the Michigan Theatre. She, like me, had obtained a pass to see The Darjeeling Limited. She had also taken one of the Gargoyle's coveted bombs and had Jason Schwarzman as well as Wes Anderson sign it. Their names will live on in history, along with both members of They Might Be Giants. But I digress.

Fearing that the bomb might get damaged (or worse confiscated) in the theatre I quickly ferried it back to the safety of the Office. However, upon my return I found that they had begun to bring people into the theatre from not one but two lines! Within seconds, the flow stopped with between 50 and 100 angry people still outside, hopelessly waving colored vouchers. I was among them, though perhaps far less vocal than the rest.

Tempers were high, to say the least. Curses were thrown. Managers and underlings were berated equally by the crowd. Someone would come out from the theatre, inform us that it was hopeless and that we were wasting our time. Shouts would rise from the back of the mob about promises, about how much time they had spent in line, about the questionable parentage of the manager. No fewer than three people on behalf of the theatre came out, and left noticeably deflated by the angry throng.

I felt bad for both sides, really. Borders had bungled the whole thing by passing out numbered, signed, but apparently worthless vouchers to the first fifty people in line. The Michigan Theatre had not anticipated the popularity of the film, and had obviously given away far too many vouchers, and also had no system in place for sorting the people waiting to get in.

There was visible disagreement within the theatre. A man in a camel-hair suit, who towered over the underlings that came out to speak to the crowd was seen shouting, or at least talking sternly, within the lobby. Eventually, a man in a pinstripe suit emerged and ordered all "purple vouchers" against the wall - a certain number of us would be let in. With some jostling, and quick reflexes, I made it inside.

FRIDAY: The People I Met, and the Movie Itself!

SUNDAY: Wilco At the Fox

This weekend, the Student Publications building is being rededicated as The Stanford Lipsey Publication Building. Guess who dropped 3.3 million on the project! There will also be the odd-year Gargoyle Alumni reunion. Pictures and stories to follow.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Announcement!

On December 25th, 2006 I received a Wii for Christmas. Along with this whopper of a gift, I also received a copy of "Zelda: Twilight Princess."

On October 21st, 2007 I beat Twilight Princess.

I think I might be the last Wii owner in America to do this, but this is the situation.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Two Things

1. I still need to talk about Wes Anderson. There's not much to say, really, but it was such a big deal that I need to wind it up.

2. I cannot say enough good things about tonight's Wilco show. It was fun, it was dead on. The band went all the way back to A.M. and hit every album in between (save for, oddly, either Mermaid album).

So there's a lot coming. I have some more reading to do, and a paper to work on, but I be sure to fill all of you in.

Thank you, Gentle Readers.

Monday, October 15, 2007

It Seemed Better in the Dark

I woke up at 4am today. I want that up front, since that might explain everything that happens from here on in.

A few days ago, my friends and I noticed a sign in the window of the local Border's. It announced the coming of acclaimed director Wes Anderson, who would be speaking and presenting a screening of his new film The Darjeeling Limited. My friends, Cathy and Zack planned to get into line very early this morning in order to get passes both to the film as well as the lecture/Q&A thing.

Zack, however, felt that the appeal of the director would be limited and decided to go home and try to get tickets a few hours before the presentation. Last night, Cathy convinced him of his folly.

This is where I come in.

I like Wes Anderson, and I think that his films are great. However, I saw no purpose in my going to see him speak. I had decided that my involvement would be limited to scoping out the venue the night before to see if a line was already forming. When Zack decided to come later, however, I offered to serve as a ringer -- to stand in line for him so that he could see Wes Anderson speak and I could see the movie.

The decision was made. I met Cathy outside Border's Books and Music around 4:10am, Monday.

3pm Monday : Zack should arrive in Ann Arbor
6pm Monday : Wes Anderson speaking event
7:15 pm Monday : Film screening

I don't know exactly how all this will go down. Judging how the line was this morning, I can't imagine that it will too awful.

Details as they develop.

PS.
I neglected to mention what I got from Writing as Business Symposium (apparently, it was a symposium).
Basically I learned that:

1. Copy Writing sounds like a good job
2. Advertising agencies hire english majors
3. "You are not reading enough."
4. "You are not writing enough."
5. You can get a job in the field without a graduate degree -- this was key. My current thinking is that I do not want to go to Grad School until I am sure what I want to do with the degree.

There was also an interesting, but less practical discussion, on the role of critics and reviewing. More on that, some other time.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Open The Mysterious Bag!



Thats right, kiddies. I got a hair cut, and this time its pretty serious.



But all in all, I am very happy with it.



It was time for a change, anyway.

My friend and former roommate Hyatt has told me several times, "Max, the day you cut your hair is the day we have to grow up."

Immediately, I thought of "Tall Buildings."
Don't worry, H-Man and everyone else, I am certainly not any different. Just much, much more attractive.

I do think I kind of look like Matt, though.

Hair

A Question!



What is in this mysterious black bag!?

Find out at 5pm, October 4th!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

New Apartment and Symposium

In order to alleviate the fears of loved ones, I will be attending 'The Business of Writing Forum' today. As near as I can tell, its a bunch of old, successful foggies talking about how great they are. Im a little disappointed that its not, in fact, a symposium. Im not sure what the difference would be, but I have always wanted to experience symposia.

Also, I am pretty well settled into my apartment now. Its a cozy little thing, a little ways back from the road. I'll try to have some pictures up by this evening. I still don't have my TV, on account of my TV being in (I believe) Grand Rapids. Hopefully that can be worked out soon, because I have got me a hankerin' to play some Wii.

Before I forget, the address here is:

334 East Madison, Ann Arbor Mi 48104

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The Photos From Iceland

Many have asked, "Sir, hasn't our breath been baited enough? Are we not worthy of your many, many pictures of Iceland?"

Children, you have waited long enough.
Behold, I give unto yee (the little people) these pictures.
Trip To Iceland (And Beyond)


I chose only the best, least rock-related photos of the 541 primarily rock and landscape based photos to be posted. Each has what I hope to be some kind of explanatory caption, but do ask questions using the comment feature on each picture and I will use my encyclopedic knowledge to answer it.

I'd like to take a moment to explain just what happened to yours truly upon his glorious return from the Land of Ice (and Vikings). Claire and I came into New York, where we were met by Ba and Mare - my wondrous aunts of legend. After a night in the Casa De Everett (home of Rick Everett, man about town), we sojourned on to New York. Our two-day mission was to aide in moving Claire's sister Hannah into her new home at Columbia University.

After a few minor, less viking-related adventures in NY (sadly, not involving Justin Kavoussi) Claire and I headed back to Ann Arbor - the Big Sleazy. She left later the next day, and then I was on my own. Homeless and alone, but at least gainfully employed, I staggered through the next ten days. On the 31st of August, I moved into my new domicile and then immediately left for Indiana.

Since then, I have started classes (more on that later) and the Gargoyle has kicked into gear for the year (more on that later, also rhyming). The only real obstacle between me and getting back into semi-regular contact is the sheer lack of internet in my house. Despite my best efforts to steal it from neighbors, I have been without internet in my life since the 21st of August. I miss it, but according to the voice on the other end of the line a modem should materialize on or around the 11th of September.

Now take some time to enjoy the pictures. Its very late, and this Max is off to bed.