The Eve

Ever wonder what I'll do if this SAIC job falls through? Flickr has the answer.


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New job starts tomorrow! All the paperwork is (allegedly) complete. I am unbelievably nervous! Oh, lord!

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Dan Aykroyd is making the coolest vodka. That is, if it exists.

I Got A Job!

Folks, the impossible has happened. I actually got the offer some time ago, but I haven't wanted to talk about it because it seems too good to be true. Much like when I was accepted to the University of Michigan. I spent the first year of college positive that I would get a call from some Dean somewhere informing me that my selection was due to a clerical error.

However, the job situation has progressed to the point where I don't think it can really fall through right now. Unless I get fired, or something.
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Starting on Monday, I will be a Technical Writer/Editor at SAIC. I'm stoked.
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In order to prepare me for my new employment, Claire took me to the Men's Warehouse. Pictures of my new chic moneysink will be made available, if the interest is there.
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I don't know if I am getting this across well enough, but I AM EXCITED!

Why Isn't There A Song Called, "Tropical Depression?"

That storm was lame. I have sat through much more intense and frightening storms in Michigan. Sure, none of them lasted for over six hours, but still...!

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We gave Tenzing a bath yesterday. He was not upset, but clearly was only tolerating the situation. New pictures now on Picasa.

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Big news of the day is that I have an interview for an internship with the NFPRHA on Thursday. I am very excited. I want this job.

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Preposterous Song Lyrics #1: Ride My Llama, by Neil Young.

I met a man from mars
He picked up all my gui-tars
And played me a traveling song

This is ridiculous on many levels, but most importantly the song flagrantly ignores several facts about Neil Young's guitars. In 1979, when the song was released on the album "Rust Never Sleeps," Neil Young owned well over 10,000 guitars. Furthermore, it is well known that most of Neil Young's guitars are so massive that only Neil Young himself is strong enough to string and play them.

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Someone should make a band called "Inverted Smokestacks."

Earthbound, Penguins, Elitism

A penguin has been granted Norweigan Knighthood.

How the mighty land of vikings has fallen.

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My friend Kris has an interesting post about why having an "Average Joe" in the White House is a catastrophically bad idea.

This is the same reason why I do not listen to any show that has a call-in segment that values the opinions of the average listener/viewer.

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Real-live rocket scientists say that, as of right now, we will never reach the stars.

I beg to differ. With the current job market, I am willing to bet that there are thousands of college students hanging around, not doing much, that would love to be blasted into space as part of a multi-generational flight to the stars.

With all the English Majors that would (undoubtedly) be on board, expect a glut of star-gazing based books of poetry, and multi-volume epics with titles like, "Spending 40 Years Sharing A Room With A Man Named Carl Who Snores," or "Doesn't This Thing Have 'Reverse?'"

Of course, I assume they'd go crazy and end up eating each other. Maybe we should send cults into space? I think most of them are expecting it anyway. They're already trained to invest their lives in sketchy plans.

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Tenzing has Kennel Cough. It is potentially dangerous, but the vet is not concerned. I'm medicating him with antibiotics, and he seems to be doing fine. The sneezing is actually kind of cute.

The only downside is that he can't play with other dogs, or go to the dog park. He is not impressed.

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Dig George Abbot White's photos. He's an alum of the now defunct Generation lit-mag, but hangs around with the GargALUMS a lot.
Try to find me!

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Applied for many, many jobs today. Many in journalism, many in publishing.

Free-lance articles shaping up nicely. Here's hopin'!

Oh Yes, The Interviews

The first week in August I had two interviews -- that's right, real-live in-person interviews -- for jobs in the DC area.

The first was with SAIC, specifically with an independent group within the company, part of which is currently doing the communications for PEO Soldier, the group which does procurement for the Army.

The second was for a grant writing position with PlanetAid, a group which deals in clothes donations.

The SAIC interview went pretty well, although I got the impression that I might not have the level of experience they were looking for.

The PlanetAid interview did not go well. It took me two hours to get to the interview, because of traffic and bad directions. I was slightly late, but I got the impression from the conversation that it wouldn't have mattered if I came in on time. It was made clear to me that they were not interested in an untested grant writer, although they did suggest that I could be brought on as a "misc. copy writer." However, that discussion was also pretty fruitless because of the 4-hour round trip commute. To be honest, I am not interested in that much driving, and I don't think they are either.

I am still sort of in touch with some people at SAIC, and there might be more developments on that front.

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I am more disappointed then I sound, but I know I have to keep trying.

I am still sending out many, many applications (several unsolicited resumes as well) but have decided to venture a few steps down The Dark Path.

The previously alluded "Dark Path" is where I start writing articles and shopping them around to magazines and newspapers. It is the beginning of Freelance Writing. While I like to imagine that such a career involves being either a grizzled, lovable rogue or a noble knight clad in shining armor, I suspect that the reality might be...something else.

To be clear: I am still looking for a full-time job. However, with so many (understandable) concerns about my experience and work history, I figure it would be prudent to pad the resume and try to make some money.

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If you've been following my Twitterings, you'll notice that I did some traveling this past weekend.

I flew out to Prince Edward Island, the location of Claire's family reunion. This involved her mother's family, who gather at different locations every year. PEI, as it is called, is especially beloved since it was where Claire's grandmother was raised during the depression (as I am told).

Take a look at it here. PEI photos to follow, but this is already much too long.

The End Of An Era

I have left the Student Pub Building, where I spent more time in college than any other single location, never to return as a student.

Tomorrow, I am moving away from Michigan. It will be my longest, most comprehensive move.

I have said goodbye to (some) childish things, and put many of them (read: junk) at the curb after cleaning out my room.

These may be huge, shocking developments in my life but none of them can hold a candle to this:



That, friends, is my Bondi Blue iBook being sent in for recycling. Purchased weeks after their release the blue book sported a ridiculously small 2gb drive and originally ran OS 8.6. It weighed 9.6 lbs, ran at a moderate 300mhz and had a whopping 64mb of RAM onboard. Though it was wireless-ready, it did not have the optional AirPort card built-in.

Godspeed, Bondi Blue iBook. Perhaps I will meet you again, refashioned into a better, functional, computer.

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Perhaps I am being overly harsh. I used it for years, and despite being dog-slow and woefully lacking in storage it still performed the duties I asked of it. Before recycling, I booted it up to remove any important data. After at least four years without power, it booted like a dream.

The laptop was not recycled with Apple's idiotic program, which would have required me to buy a new computer, but via Office Depot. I walked in, I put the ol' mac in a box, and am completely eco-guilt free. That's worth $5.

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I just got a rejection letter from the Georgetown Research News. This is particularly unfortunate, since it was the last publication that was on my radar.

Don't Trust Your Instincts

I received this rejection letter a few days ago:

Dear William,

Thank you for submitting your resume to [name withheld]. Your resume has been received and reviewed for the [position to which you applied]. Your qualifications for the position were carefully considered, however, other candidates appear to have backgrounds better suited to the needs of the department.

They "appear" to have backgrounds better suited to the needs of your department? You sound unsure, or condescending. I can't tell.

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As you may have gathered from my Twitterings, I had some car trouble yesterday. The break line went, and I lost compression in the rear brakes and had very little in the front. The annoyance of having car trouble was nothing compared to the emotional trauma of having to pay for it. However, the car runs great again and will propel me southward, toward D.C.

Weird octopi with more than eight arms. How many? Try 85.

Completely awesome Rubix Cube solving robot made of Legos. Finally!

I move in 10 days.

Automated Messages

I love the automated confirmation/rejection emails I receive from the employers I have contacted.

Dear W.,

Thank you for your interest in the [name withheld]. Your resume has been received by our recruitment staff. If we determine that your qualifications match job requirements for available positions, we will contact you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a letter. And I am "W."

The Biggest Damn Spider, and Other Encounters

Friends, it was two nights ago that Claire and I encountered what I will call "The Biggest Damn Spider," hither-forth referred to as The BDS. We have yet to identify The BDS, but I can describe it to you in disgusting detail.

The BDS was mottled grey and black, with a lighter patch on it's abdomen. The important thing is that it was a good two-inches long, sans legs.

For reference, the largest spider we could find in the Audubon books were barely an inch. It was truly massive. Claire's mother was the only one brave enough to kill it. I am shamed; she saved my life, and now it belongs to her.
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This morning I received an email from the Advisory Board Company informing me that my application was no longer going to be pursued. I am disappointed, of course. But my dealings with ABC have been some of the most positive in my job hunt. They were courteous, accommodating, and responded promptly to all my inquiries.

Unfortunately, I only have one other active prospect. Many applications have been sent (and continue to be sent), but I have heard back from a scant few. I am concerned, but ever hopeful.
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Today, it looks like rain.

Briefly Noted: eFame

My eFame continues to set the world ablaze.

Now I must return to completing another application for the Atlantic magazine.

Quickly:
While I was sick, I did a phone interview with comics publisher Fantagraphics. I had a raging fever, was naked, bedridden, and sweated profusely throughout the course of the six-minute interview. At one point, the following exchange occurred:

Fantagraphics: What is the worst thing you've ever had to do at a job?

Max: Well, once I had to chase out some homeless people, and then bury their feces.

Fantagraphics: (silence)

I don't know if I perhaps misheard her question in my delirium, or if she thought I was trying to be funny. Either way, I did not get the job. It's just as well, since it would have required me to relocated to Seattle for several months.
I bear no ill-will towards Fantagraphics: more than anything I am pleased to have been given the opportunity and am utterly grateful at their flexibility while I was ill.

The Lazy Sunday Edition

I got up early and called around to a few of the properties in D.C. that I have been watching on Craig's List. Several were not interested in renting in August, which is interesting. I guess I am too used to the Ann Arbor time table of leasing, which holds that if you do not have a lease signed by February, you are out of luck.

There are a few places that look quite good, and are willing to lease and I'll be visiting them next weekend with Claire.

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On Saturday I met Tenzing.
He is adorable.

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Last night I bought an AP Style Guide; The Elements of Style, by E.B. White and his mentor William Strunk Jr.; and Writer's Market.

Can I have a job now, please?

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It looks like I'll soon be writing for the Beachwood Reporter, an online culture magazine based around Chicago. Though I probably won't get paid from the gig, I've really enjoyed blog-writing (here, and elsewhere) and given the fact that it's rather in vogue these days having a few more on my resume can't hurt.

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Today, hoping to rekindle my fervor for Starcraft II, I downloaded the Zerg Awakening Trailer. I have to say that I was disappointed by 80% of it. The writing, and especially the voice acting were god-awful. You have to wonder what was going through their heads as they wrote/recorded/mixed/edited/reviewed this short 133mb video.

The monologue is bombastic, and sappy. It tries very, very hard to have an epic edge, but it falls flat. Instead, coming over more as sophomoric. To me, it sounded like the kind of thing that some gothy teenagers had thrown together in their spare time and dropped onto YouTube.

Also: Blizzard is starting to bore me. I used to feel like there was some differences between the style of their games. However, everything is starting to look more and more like World of Warcraft. There doesn't seem to be much flair or originality to the design of anything anymore. Did they sack the entire art department and replace it with one, well motivated, competent, but very boring artist? I have no idea.

The video's one redeeming factor was the in-game footage. That is to say, 50% of the in-game footage was interesting. Half of it was genuinely cool battles taking place on an absolutely massive scale, and a few other, smaller, vignettes of new Zerg abilities. The other half were totally stupefying, if not completely boring, in-game shots. A squad of some kind of air-squid flying over a desert does not stoke my fires and start me reaching for my wallet. Neither does whatever is going on here:



Are we supposed to understand that in StarCraft II, buildings will fart at each other?

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Blizzard has started to rub me the wrong way lately. While I was initially excited to see StarCraft II about to release, I have since become quite wary of it. First, they launch the site with next to nothing on it, but then fail to wet my appetite or keep me interested with regular updates. For a company that made a mint on clever, creative online communities (e.g. WoW) this seems unnaturally stupid.

If this game turns out to be another WarCraft 3, in that it is 3-D, playable, but an overall boring experience then I will be greatly dismayed.

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Tomorrow, I have to do something funny for the final meeting of my Psychology of Humor class starring the New Yorker Cartoon editor Robert Mankoff. I'm a little scared.