Why Isn't There A Song Called, "Tropical Depression?"

That storm was lame. I have sat through much more intense and frightening storms in Michigan. Sure, none of them lasted for over six hours, but still...!

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We gave Tenzing a bath yesterday. He was not upset, but clearly was only tolerating the situation. New pictures now on Picasa.

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Big news of the day is that I have an interview for an internship with the NFPRHA on Thursday. I am very excited. I want this job.

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Preposterous Song Lyrics #1: Ride My Llama, by Neil Young.

I met a man from mars
He picked up all my gui-tars
And played me a traveling song

This is ridiculous on many levels, but most importantly the song flagrantly ignores several facts about Neil Young's guitars. In 1979, when the song was released on the album "Rust Never Sleeps," Neil Young owned well over 10,000 guitars. Furthermore, it is well known that most of Neil Young's guitars are so massive that only Neil Young himself is strong enough to string and play them.

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Someone should make a band called "Inverted Smokestacks."

Here Comes The Story of the Hurricane

Hanna hit us around 7am. I don't care if it's a Tropical Storm, I am going to call it a Hurricane. Sounds more impressive.

As referenced in my twitters, I had to take Tenzing out to pee this morning in the rain. Unfortunately, the little blighter stayed true to form and needed to sniff around for about ten minutes before he could poop. Have you ever stood out in the rain, commanding your dog to poop in an authoritative voice?

The Weather Channel says we're in for 6" of rain -- possibly more. Cool.

Today's Playlist

1. Hurricane -- Dylan

2. Rock You Like A Hurricane -- Scorpions (Note: appropriate, since we are going to be rocked like a hurricane, and not actually by a hurricane.)

3. Hurricane Eye -- Paul Simon

4. Any Credence song, since they are all about rain

5. Down in the Flood -- Dylan/The Band

6. The Hurricane Song -- The Kids from C.A.P.E.R.

I Am Totally Going to Get Hit By a Hurricane

In case you haven't been watching along at home, the entire East Coast is about to get drizzled on by Tropical Storm Hanna.

I've never been in a hurricane, or a tropical storm for that matter, so it's pretty exciting! Everything I have read indicates that I don't have anything to worry about. I am not going to stock up on food, but I did check to make sure I had matches and working flashlights.

Keep an eye on the storm -- I know I will.

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One thing you may not know is that Washington DC, and the surrounding cities, are protected from major inclement systems with a series of massive earthworks and ground support system. This system is called, "Delaware."

According to all public documents, Delaware is a state like any other. It is in reality, a gigantic buffer zone to protect vital government institutions and free museums from storms, and giant lobster invasions.

The main line of defense is thousands of box fans designed to blow away major storms. Behind that is a barren No-Man's land of land mines, concertina wire, and pots of boiling water (to frighten the lobsters). Recently installed trip lines are intended to cause hurricanes to trip and fall on their faces, as they are notoriously clumsy.

The final defense Delaware has to offer is a catapult which launches citizens of Delaware towards impending threats. While this may seem on its surface as a horrible, callous thing to do it is easily justified. In reality, Delaware's citizens are not citizens at all but specially designed clones labeled with a hexidecimal number. These clones are used as cannon fodder in the event of Lobsters, and human shields in the event of Hurricane.

Once, a Delaware clone got loose and escaped his fate on the catapult. He now goes by Floyd, and he owns a KFC franchise in Madison, Wisconsin.

Behind the mass of bristling pungee-stick lined pits that is the lonesome expanse of Delaware is the massive labyrinth built on the holdings of Maryland. More than a few hurricanes have lost their way in its seemingly endless passages. Their mournful cries can still be heard inside its echoing halls.

Don't believe me?


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