Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Automated Messages

I love the automated confirmation/rejection emails I receive from the employers I have contacted.

Dear W.,

Thank you for your interest in the [name withheld]. Your resume has been received by our recruitment staff. If we determine that your qualifications match job requirements for available positions, we will contact you.


Ladies and gentlemen, I am a letter. And I am "W."

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Twittering Telescopes

Many of you, dear readers, are familiar with the online-phenomenon "Twitter."

I've been doing more Twittering lately, and I'm having a good time with it. I've yet to get it up and running on my phone, but that's my problem.

Today, in my wanderings, I discovered that several radio telescopes in the UK are twittering. They might be the worlds most boring twitterers:

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:33:23.435 +47:18:58) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:34:02.340 +48:09:25) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...

Knockin Observing: space (16:28:38.403 +47:34:16) http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/vlb...


And so on.

Obviously, the only people really interested in these are the researchers themselves. Although, there is something kind of fun about having this kind of knowledge on hand. For bonus fun, take a look at whose Twitters the telescope is reading (hint: other telescopes).
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On another note, more of you all out there should start Twittering. That way, you (like me) can be part of the United Internet Idiocy (UII).

Monday, June 30, 2008

WALL-E

ATTN: INTERNET

Wall-E is the best movie. You should see it immediately.
As you all know, I am a big proponent and producer of gushing praise. In order to spare you all, I will refer you to this review from the New York Times.

Needless to say, I will purchase this movie as soon as it is available.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

From The Horrible Depths of the Internet

WIRED has an article on the upcoming Dark Knight movie. I'm relieved to read about a director that is concerned about the overuse of special effects. Truth be told, the OD on the CG is what killed the revisions of the Star Wars movies for me. The CG took those movies out of their context and confused everything. Now I watch them and I think, "How 1997!" instead of "How epic!" Don't even get me started on the pre-quals.

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The Associated Press has an oddly titled article: Everything Seemingly Spinning Out of Control. It sums up some of the weird vibes that have been floating around lately. It certainly seems that we, as a society(?), are on the cusp of something. Maybe I'm just projecting.

It's worth noting that if you look back at history, most everything was hailed as the apocalypse or something similarly cataclysmic. For instance, I'm told that the rise of the book, as opposed to the scroll, was viewed by some as a herald of the collapse of civilization.

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The Canadian Free Press has a response to "Everything Seemingly Spinning Out of Control." Personally, I think it's a terrible article. I dislike it mostly because it often ignore or apparently misinterpret the original, but mostly because I can't jibe with their beliefs.

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In the wake of my recent rejections from the print/media world, I am going to apply to be an astronaut.

The Biggest Damn Spider, and Other Encounters

Friends, it was two nights ago that Claire and I encountered what I will call "The Biggest Damn Spider," hither-forth referred to as The BDS. We have yet to identify The BDS, but I can describe it to you in disgusting detail.

The BDS was mottled grey and black, with a lighter patch on it's abdomen. The important thing is that it was a good two-inches long, sans legs.

For reference, the largest spider we could find in the Audubon books were barely an inch. It was truly massive. Claire's mother was the only one brave enough to kill it. I am shamed; she saved my life, and now it belongs to her.
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This morning I received an email from the Advisory Board Company informing me that my application was no longer going to be pursued. I am disappointed, of course. But my dealings with ABC have been some of the most positive in my job hunt. They were courteous, accommodating, and responded promptly to all my inquiries.

Unfortunately, I only have one other active prospect. Many applications have been sent (and continue to be sent), but I have heard back from a scant few. I am concerned, but ever hopeful.
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Today, it looks like rain.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Now It Can Be Shown

Upon my arrival in Galena, I noticed that my camera had finally bitten the dust. I was exceedingly disappointed, because it's such a beautiful place to be.

So, rather than deprive you of images I bought a new camera.

Lazy Galena Days



BONUS TENZING VIDEO!
Listen to me talk to a dog in a ridiculous voice!
Enjoy never-before-seen footage OF MY ARM!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Web Finds

The Web-Log, become "Blog," was originally a very literal invention. It was a log (record) of what the author had found on the internet (web). That was a while ago, and it has since evolved to mean many things.

So, back to roots blogging:

From DCist

The original design of the District of Columbia called for the creation of villages for all fifty states. These would be settled by residents of said states, creating a sort of Palace of Versais/Galactic Council system. Too bad it never went anywhere.
However, it's probably for the best. I imagine the wealthier states investing millions in their villages, making it a tacky Disney-Land type affair. "Hello, 'Y'all!' I am a real-life resident of 'Tex-has!' In my state, people dress in 'cow-boy hats!'"

And what of the blander, less stereotyped states?
"Hello, I am from Michigan. Welcome to Michigan Land. Step this way for the 'Rust to Agriculture: A State's Spectrum' log ride."

Olde Timey 3-D

Back in the day, when Zoetropes were cutting edge special effects, entertainment was a simpler thing. People enjoyed "Stereograms," which were two offset photographs that appeared 3D when viewed through special glasses. These have been revived as 2-frame GIFs. The images are flashed very quickly, creating the illusion of three dimensions.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Million Dollar Goldblum

Last night, I dreamt that the world was facing imminent peril and/or disaster. A southern gentleman -- thin, in a white linen suit with moustache -- had some kind of spherical craft filled with Gold Bullion. Jeff Goldblum, noted actor, wished to escape the amorphous impending doom and asked to get a ride with The Southerner.

The Southerner declined, then Goldblum ripped off his suit coat (also white) revealing several metal ammo belts filled with money. "There's 1.5 million dollars in there," panted Goldblum.

"Sir, you just bought yourself a ticket!" The Southerner replied.

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Due to the horrific flooding, the Julia Bell Swain has canceled all her landings on this end of the river. I am quite disappointed. The very nice lady on the phone said they hope to be back around September. I guess I will have to make an early fall trip to Dubuque.

Besides being the subject of a beloved song, the Julia Bell has a fascinating history as seen here, via Wikipedia. Also of interest is a list of competitors and winners of the Great Steamboat Race. It confirms that, as Mr. Hartfod claimed in song, "she beat the Belle of Louisville, she beat the Delta Queen."

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh hi, guys!

I was just sitting here wondering why Stephen Fry hasn't offered up a new blessay or podgram when I suddenly remember that I too have a blog of sorts.

As many of you all or no doubt aware, I am staying at the Barker Family Compound in rural Illinois for the month of June. It's quite beautiful out here -- green, hilly, pastoral. From the back deck of the house, you can see the Mississippi rising inexorably higher.

My days are spent with the dogs: Tenzing, the puppy, and Bodri, the elder. Having not spent any long periods of time with dogs in years, save time spent on uncle Mike and aunt Bonnie's farm, it's endlessly entertaining. And often, frustrating.

The DC Job Hunt continues. I've had some good responses, and have made it to higher tiers with some companies. Two in particular stand out, but it's a long process.

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Unrelated to me, Norweigan cartoonist Jason -- whom I adore -- has as an interesting interview with Wizard. Go on and take a gander.

I'd like to conclude with Jason's take on David Bowie ala The Little Prince.
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Sunday, June 01, 2008

Hometown Flick

Word has reached me that a movie-film is being shot in Ferndale, the hamlet of my youth and childhood. My church is also one of the locations!

My enthusiasm is guarded, as I have discovered that the film in question is a Lifetime channel made-for-TV release staring Sigourney Weaver.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Oh well, I'll probably watch it on YouTube or something.

LINK

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Briefly Noted: eFame

My eFame continues to set the world ablaze.

Now I must return to completing another application for the Atlantic magazine.

Quickly:
While I was sick, I did a phone interview with comics publisher Fantagraphics. I had a raging fever, was naked, bedridden, and sweated profusely throughout the course of the six-minute interview. At one point, the following exchange occurred:

Fantagraphics: What is the worst thing you've ever had to do at a job?

Max: Well, once I had to chase out some homeless people, and then bury their feces.

Fantagraphics: (silence)

I don't know if I perhaps misheard her question in my delirium, or if she thought I was trying to be funny. Either way, I did not get the job. It's just as well, since it would have required me to relocated to Seattle for several months.
I bear no ill-will towards Fantagraphics: more than anything I am pleased to have been given the opportunity and am utterly grateful at their flexibility while I was ill.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sick, Again

Moments after completing my last exam of college, I feel stricken with some kind of flu thing.

Claire is taking care of me. I will recover soon. God help me, I will graduate.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Have You Heard About Sark?

Sark! The tiny island nation off the coast of England!

Sark! The last bastion of Feudalism!

Sark! Was once the target of a one-man invasion by an out of work French nuclear physicist armed only with an automatic weapon!

Sark! Were said invader was arrested by the island's volunteer constable on a park bench!

Sark! Where if you recite the Lord's Prayer in Norman French, followed by an invocation of a Prince, at someone you think is wronging you they must cease and stand trial.

Sark! Where the last Clameur de Haro, as it is called, was used in 1970 during a dispute over a garden wall!

Sark! A place I simply must visit!

SARK!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Attack and Release

You should all go out THIS INSTANT and purchase the Black Keys' album Attack and Release.

It is excellent. More to follow on why this album is fantastic, and on other things like graduation soon to follow.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Pit Bulls

My friend Kris has done some work for this worthy organization.

Help the puppies.

Colorado Pitbull Rescue

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Lazy Sunday Edition

I got up early and called around to a few of the properties in D.C. that I have been watching on Craig's List. Several were not interested in renting in August, which is interesting. I guess I am too used to the Ann Arbor time table of leasing, which holds that if you do not have a lease signed by February, you are out of luck.

There are a few places that look quite good, and are willing to lease and I'll be visiting them next weekend with Claire.

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On Saturday I met Tenzing.
He is adorable.

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Last night I bought an AP Style Guide; The Elements of Style, by E.B. White and his mentor William Strunk Jr.; and Writer's Market.

Can I have a job now, please?

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It looks like I'll soon be writing for the Beachwood Reporter, an online culture magazine based around Chicago. Though I probably won't get paid from the gig, I've really enjoyed blog-writing (here, and elsewhere) and given the fact that it's rather in vogue these days having a few more on my resume can't hurt.

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Today, hoping to rekindle my fervor for Starcraft II, I downloaded the Zerg Awakening Trailer. I have to say that I was disappointed by 80% of it. The writing, and especially the voice acting were god-awful. You have to wonder what was going through their heads as they wrote/recorded/mixed/edited/reviewed this short 133mb video.

The monologue is bombastic, and sappy. It tries very, very hard to have an epic edge, but it falls flat. Instead, coming over more as sophomoric. To me, it sounded like the kind of thing that some gothy teenagers had thrown together in their spare time and dropped onto YouTube.

Also: Blizzard is starting to bore me. I used to feel like there was some differences between the style of their games. However, everything is starting to look more and more like World of Warcraft. There doesn't seem to be much flair or originality to the design of anything anymore. Did they sack the entire art department and replace it with one, well motivated, competent, but very boring artist? I have no idea.

The video's one redeeming factor was the in-game footage. That is to say, 50% of the in-game footage was interesting. Half of it was genuinely cool battles taking place on an absolutely massive scale, and a few other, smaller, vignettes of new Zerg abilities. The other half were totally stupefying, if not completely boring, in-game shots. A squad of some kind of air-squid flying over a desert does not stoke my fires and start me reaching for my wallet. Neither does whatever is going on here:

BuildingFart.jpg

Are we supposed to understand that in StarCraft II, buildings will fart at each other?

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Blizzard has started to rub me the wrong way lately. While I was initially excited to see StarCraft II about to release, I have since become quite wary of it. First, they launch the site with next to nothing on it, but then fail to wet my appetite or keep me interested with regular updates. For a company that made a mint on clever, creative online communities (e.g. WoW) this seems unnaturally stupid.

If this game turns out to be another WarCraft 3, in that it is 3-D, playable, but an overall boring experience then I will be greatly dismayed.

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Tomorrow, I have to do something funny for the final meeting of my Psychology of Humor class starring the New Yorker Cartoon editor Robert Mankoff. I'm a little scared.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Dog Stays In The Picture

Tenzing


Behold: Tenzing der Überhund!

Claire went out to meet this darling dog this past weekend, and little Tenzing is now spoken for by this particular Barker.

Tenzing, a five-week old male Icelandic Sheepdog is from a breeder in Royal Oak -- one of the few in the country. As soon as graduation unfolds, Claire will be picking up the little guy and whisking him off for puppy training in Galena before bringing him to D.C..

It's my turn to meet him this Saturday, at which time I will present him with one of ten (10) recently purchased dog toys.

I'm sure many of you are wondering about my job prospects and all that, but for now please enjoy more pictures of puppies.

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Banjo Cameo

I have been featured in a work of art done by Adrian Choy. Please enjoy it.



EDIT: Oops! It's too big!
I have to go to class, I'll fix it when I get back.

EDIT: Fixed!