Gargoyle Launches EAT THIS ISSUE Issue!

Well, it was a tough one, but the issue is complete!
The story is harrowing one. After taking a long break to get ourselves in top-notch writing shape, we made what we considered to be the best issue to date. The articles were great, we had tried out some new ideas in terms of content and had some truly incredible artwork. It was PDF'ed and sent out to the printers with nary a hitch.
And then, we got the issues back.
Oh man.
Firstly, it was printed on the wrong paper. At some point, we got confused with the proper weight of paper and told the printers 5lb lower than what we normally use. Now, that may not seem like a lot, but here's a handy comparison. Take a sheet of normal printer paper. Look at its sheen, and its pure whiteness expressing the infinite possibilities of what could be made with it.
Now get a paper bag, and put it on your head. Try looking at the paper.
Truth be told, its not that bad. It sure is a bugger though.
The worst of the news was that the color pages were misaligned when we laid out the issue. Meaning that 4 of the 8 color pages were printed in black and white.
After a marathon of phone calls and a mighty stressful weekend, we get word that a reprint will be impossible.
(Explative.)
There was only one solution: print 15,000 amusing inserts making light of the errors and staple them to the inside of the issues, on every faulty page.
Then, we affixed cabbage leaves to each issue and encouraged patrons to "Eat this comedy magazine!"
I'd like to take all the credit for the idea, but we stole it from the "Burn This Issue" from eons back in the Gargoyle past. That was, incidentally, the best selling Gargoyle in history. It also resulted in large piles of burning magazines on the Diag.
Here's our contribution to Garg-History: EAT THIS ISSUE.

Many thanks to Andy Romeo, Nichol _______?, and Di (Indecipherable), for their assistance today!