I am the last person on the face of the earth to do this, but who cares. Primary posting will be on FaceBook, but reprinted here for your general amusement.
1. I did not own any real nice clothes until I got this job with SAIC. The weekend before my first day I got tricked out, and probably taken for a ride, by the people at The Men’s Warehouse.
2. I still get kind of freaked out by the idea of ghosts and creepy monsters like the Mothman. I was a total sucker for the paranormal stuff when I was a kid, but now I have a childhood’s worth of creepy memories that make me jumpy at night.
3. I went for nearly a year without tying my shoes. I have gone for more than year without washing my sheets. I have never washed my car since I purchased it in 2002.
4. I think the serial comma is completely essential, and that the semi-colon has a bad rap.
5. I often worry that I don’t have enough personality problems to be a great artist, and will therefore be a mediocre writer for my entire life.
6. I did not listen or watch any news for most of the Bush administration. On the few occasions when I did, I would get incredibly angry and frustrated. As a result, I did not own a TV for two years of college.
7. I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to everyone who has or will serve on the Gargoyle. This debt will be repayed in the form of one (1) beer that I will buy anyone current or former member of Garg staff.
8. I am writing this on a pirated copy of Microsoft Office that I lifted from the Gargoyle five years ago. Someday, someone will notice that when I work from home, what I turn in has track-changes that are attributed to "Gargoyle Humor Magazine."
9. Here is a brief list of words I cannot spell: thurough, resuarant, garuntee, admitadly
10. I am very self-conscious about my writing, and over work projects to the point where I forget about them. For instance, I drafted this at least two times before starting over with this list.
11. My metric for success is NPR: if I get interviewed for All Things Considered, I am doing pretty well; but if I get interviewed on Fresh Air, I know I will have made it.
12. I don't believe anything is above ridicule.
13. I really have no interest in meeting famous people. I don't really have anything of substance to say to them, and I am sure they'd just be annoyed.
14. I feel so lucky to have my family. I know people who's families are hornets nests of infighting, or are just too much for them to bear. I love my family, and I a grateful for them (and especially for all the Lyons', who have been wonderful to me).
15. I own and listen to seasonal music.
16. I am continually frustrated by how humanity’s imagination greatly outpaces our abilities. We can dream starships, and theorize about how to build and propel them, but we can’t find the cash or the will.
17. I lack the drive required to be a visual artist, or musician, though I so desperately want to be both.
18. Though I enjoy video games, I am often disappointed by them. I think they come up short on their promises.
19. I love breakfast foods, especially the stuff that’s really bad for you. Strata, biscuits and gravy, and sweet loraine are among my favorites.
20. During my freshman year of college I read Ralph Waldo Emerson's “Self Reliance.” It was the first time I read something that spoke to me and made me feel like I'd discovered a piece of my soul in someone's book. It seemed like those 15 odd pages contained more about myself than I knew. It was as if those words had taken all the conflicting ideas and ideals that I had struggled to communicate and understand and laid them out plainly and beautifully.
21. My childhood room was yellow. The doors were old wood, and had big rusty knobs with comicly large keyholes that you could look through, like in the movies.
22. I want to tell stories.
23. I don’t understand why necessities like pants and housing are so damn expensive. If everyone needs it, it should be cheap and freely available. There’s something very wrong with a world where cheese doodles and cell phones are more readily available than affordable housing and pants.
24. In preschool, I was jealous of my friend Drew because all the girls wanted to kiss him.
25. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I have things sorted out, but I hope I can at least look like I do, and do so stylishly.
Posts
