Farewell, Atomsk

Atomsk, my dearly beloved laptop purchased such a short while ago in large part from my loving parents, is (effectively) dead. When taken to the Apple Store, he was declared to be at DAMAGE TIER LEVEL 4. That's apparently bad. As in, DEFCON 4 THE SOVIETS HAVE GONE TO CONDITION RED bad. The man at the desk tells me it will run at least 1300 to repair him.

Though his data is still intact, I figure it is too late for him. I am exploring some options, but Im not too hopeful.

Right now, Im preparing for the worst.

The king is dead. We must prepare for succession.

THE MACBOOK
A solid choice. Small, cute, cheap and high-powered. However, it lacks any kind of decent graphics card and has an admitably small screen. Since I use my computer as a kind of entertainment center, this could be problematic.

THE MACBOOK PRO
Highpowered and wide (not thick), this is the heavy hitter of Apple's portables. A faster chip, larger screen and a nifty graphics card are its highpoints. But its price tag brushes past the WAY WAY TOO MUCH level.

THE IMAC
Best of both worlds, but stuck to the ground. A huge screen, a graphics card with more RAM and a hard drive the size of greate Milwaukee are just some of its dandy features which come at an equally dandy price. But its not exactly going to fit into my backpack.

PS.
I become E-FAMOUS! Try to find me on this page!

PPS.
As you can tell from these pictures, all the other bands were not nearly rocking hard enough. You ain't got time for gentle melodies if you rock so hard you have to wear a tamborine on your head! Go buy Mason Proper's album, or better yet see them live.

PPPS.
Also, get the new Wilco album. And see them live too.

Double Battered and Deep Deep Fried

Bonus points if you can identify the origin of this post's title!

So, I was going to update you with lots of super fun happy information that I have been saving for the past two weeks. I was going to tell you all about my new grounds job, about Claire staying with me, about my best friend Kris moving out west, about Spiderman 3, Shrek 3 and Inland Empire.

Instead Im going to tell you that I am an idiot. I am an idiot because I spilled black current and apple juice on the keyboard of my laptop. I lept into action trying to save him, but Im pretty sure it blew before I could get it turned off.

Right now, sweet sweet Atomsk is drying out in my room. I'll try to turn him on tomorrow, but Im pretty certain theres no hope. At least he went out in fiery battle - like a true viking.

More on the computer situation, as it develops.

Back to you, Phrank.

Rolled Up And Eaten In A Pasty

Remember how I said that I'd check and see if there was some kind of deeper meaning to my trip the Upper Peninsula? Yeah, there isn't one.

I drove for a really, really long time. I counted mile markers. I pulled over for gas when my gauge went below 3/4 of a tank remaining - I was very paranoid. I saw huge windmills. I crossed a huge bridge. I got scared when outside of Munising, because there were ice flows in the lake. It was at that exact moment that I realized I was very, very far away from home and that I might be in trouble.

In Houghton, land of trees, I hung with Nate and his roomate Stu. Nice guy, Stu. Reminds me of someone - but Im not sure who. At some point while hanging around I noticed how well me and Nate work off of each other - we were just going back and forth with stories, commentaries, theories and general blather with machine gun speed. A good time, for sure. I have great friends, Im surely quite lucky.

We chitty-chatted late into the night. Very late. I didn't have much sleep in my system while caravanning back from the frozen north, but I did fine. Im told that the distance I traveled north is the same distance midway into Tennessee if applied southward. And to think I did it twice! It was remarkable to see the trees get greener and greener the farther south I went. Since most of the time anyplace you looked at up there seemed to come out of an ecology calendar, the drive was a lot like flipping through a Safari Club publication very quickly.

Im still pretty worn out from the whole thing. But by gum, I enjoyed myself. I take it back, there's some meaning in there somewhere. I'll write a book, and then let the students figure it out.

Here's some pictures:

The Great Northern Transport

Massive Michigan (word for trip beginning with "M")

Im back in Troy, at the Eddy Team Base, preparing for the single longest car trip I have ever endured.

Such a thing is, by definition, unprecedented.

The story begins many years ago in High School where I met a kid named Nate, in band class. He played sax in the campus band and I played clarinet, but somehow we met up. Fate? Naw. Its like sifting river gravel, which makes all the sediments of like mass move to the same area - drawing all the emeralds together. Did you like that? Did you see what I did there? Its a metaphor, describing how I feel about my serendipitous meeting with a dude who has continued to be a very close friend and creating a comparison between my homies and precious gems.

Anyway, we went on to have many misadventures through our highschool days, and since our graduation he's been making his home in the great white north, at Michigan Tech. Tomorrow morning, I will rise and get into my car. I'll turn on the newly installed stereo deck and rock out hardcore for 9.75 hours until I reach his pad.

I just checked, and I don't think there's any deeper metaphorical edge to this trip. Although I guess I won't really know until I get back.

See: map of amazing trip.

See Also:

Pictures of me and Claire at the Zoo!

He Returns From The Brink!

Hello all, its very good to be back.
The last few weeks were pretty trying, and I am surprised that I made it through in one piece. First, there were the papers. Then, there was the Flu. After that, there were the Extensions - where I worked with the tenacity of an Army Ant colony to get everything done.

And now, here I am. At the end of it all - and I even have all my grades in! Dig it:

ENG 370 : Medieval Poetics and what not : B+
ENG 407 : Computers in Literature : A-
ENG 417 : Graphic Narrative : A-
SCAND 442 : Icelandic Sagas! : A

GPA: 3.650
Cumulative GPA: 3.590

DO YOU SEE THIS, AMERICA? THIS IS ME BRAGGING.

I'd very much like to post these papers. Not because they are particularly good, but because I want to have something to show for all the time I put into writing them. But at the same time, Im worried that if non-university types see them, they'll think Im just wasting my time (because the papers are lousy). Im probably just paranoid.
Im also worried because I don't want my work being passed off as someone else's paper. That would make me sad.

Anyway, Im back. So expect a slew of updates over the next few days.

50% Complete

I have two really big papers left to write. One 10-15 page essay for Graphic Narrative and another 10-15 page paper for Icelandic Sagas. These are the rough ones. My paper for the Computers and Literature course is much shorter and is not due until Tuesday.

I guess what I am saying is that I am going to be pretty busy for a while.

I'll be back soon!

I Haven't Missed The Flu

Hello, Max-fans!

Once again, I find myself apologizing for my lack of appearances as of late. I assure you that I still love you, each and every one of you.
The past few weeks have been very busy, as the last month of the school year often is. I have been assigned six papers in four classes (two of which are now complete!), and also took a quick trip to Indiana along the way.

But the big news is, of course, how sick I have been as of late. On wednesday night I came down with something, though I wasn't sure what. After valiantly going to class Thursday morning, it was clear that the flu was here to stay. I was barely aware that Friday was happening, and subsequently did not get to class. As of today, I am doing much better. I have a few extensions and the papers are getting written (sort of).
For anyone interested my highest temperature was 102.4º. I also had an embarrassing dream involving a hobo and another dream in which my friend Cathy was given a love note via guitar. That is to say, that in my dream a man named "Johann" walked up to Cathy with a guitar, a hand came out of said guitar and delivered said note.

But the real story is that my girlfriend is awesome. Claire came by frequently to feed me, take my temperature and keep my company. She braved the flu and the cold weather to make sure I didn't expire quietly in my room, unbeknownst to anyone. And today, she made me cookies.

AWESOME.

A special thanks to everyone who called, emailed, and otherwise wished me well during my illness. Especially Justin, who drove me to the clinic after having stayed awake for the better part of two days.
And also an apology to many of you (especially my staff, my parents and my good friend Kris). Because of being sick I wasn't able to meet/hang/bond with you.
Im better now, so lets fix that.

Alright, back to the grind.

PS.
I am totally enamored with some of these google tools. EXPECT SOME AWESOME AND TOTALLY USELESS ADDITIONS TO THE BLOG IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE.

PPS.
I have no leads for employment this summer. HELP!

Massive Links Follow-Up Post

I covered a lot of ground in the last post.
Well, not really. But I do realize that there's a lot that I left out. Like, for example, the Chris Ware animation itself!

Do enjoy. I spent a lot of time on it.

Webs of Chance

I recently had a series of incredibly serendipitous moments.
Let me lay this out for you.

I got up late Sunday morning because its the Sabbath and thats what you do. Also because me, Kris, and a collection of assorted roomates hit the Fleetwood at around 2 am. As I write this I am suffering the direct results of eggs and hashbrowns with black coffee at that hour of the morning.
By 9am I was jerked awake after a particularly troubling dream centered in suburbia where I found myself equipped with a floating cellphone that I gripped from below which I used to avoid huge spiders in floating, complicated, three-dimensional orb-webs.
I couldn't float very high with the cellphone - I attribute this to the fact that my phone hasn't been working lately - and I hit one of these balloon webs. When I hit the web an asian grandmother-type figure appeared and took the hit for me. 'Ah! It pinches my butt!' She cried, and I was awake.
I always find it best to rejoin reality after particularly deep sleep by way of internet. I had unfolded my laptop and propped myself up in bed for about an hour or so, pointing and clicking my way to useful consciousness. By 10am I was set up at my desk, using all of my eSkill and iAwesomeness to find and use anything to avoid having to work on my final papers, which are many and manifest. This of course lead me to my podcasts.
As much as I am loathe to admit my participation in something as Trendy.com as PodCasting, I have to accept that you are reading this on (one of) my blog(s) so there is obviously little hope for me. It's too late. Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
I do listen to a few podcasts, though. Only one now, though. The first ever was Ze Frank's the now concluded 'The Show.' His talent has been expressed in several other more frequented and lucrative forums than this, so we'll move ahead. The second is the weekly podcast of NPR's This American Life.¹ I love this show, and have for some time. The almost droning monotone of Ira Glass is so zen, so buddhist monk, and the stories successfully stretch me across an unbelievable expanse of temporal, geographical, and emotional locales that I can't help but love it.³
I listened to a show.
It was great.
It was the end of one of their live shows I had started listening to a few days earlier called "What I learned from Television."⁴ Awesome. Completely awesome. Sheer bliss. There I am, surfing the internet looking for wonderful little April Fools being left by site managers while listening to This American Life. I am so happy with listening that when the show ends I let it just roll into another one. Great! Huzzah! "The Allure of the Mean Friend!"⁵
At some point, during this procrastanotory NPR love-fest, Ira mentions that the This American Life website has been redone and revamped, likely a tie-in with their new TV show⁶ which I am too poor to afford to watch. I meandered, or as well as one can "meander" on the internet, on over now listening to the end of another episode which I had started weeks earlier⁷. The website is really something, with great colors and cool curvey things and Im just having a ball clicking around. Then my eyes fell upon something familiar and I stop.
What I see is a panel from Chris Ware's graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth. It's being used as part of the blurb about the show I was just listening to.
Normally, I wouldn't have stopped. But, if you can recall, this whole thing is about serendipity and something cool is about to happen. It's going to happen right here: because just this past thursday I was discussing that very book in my Graphic Narrative⁸ course at the Univeristy.
I'll give you all a second to inhale dramatically for me.

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that finding that, in and of itself is only moderately cool. A 2.3 on the Cool Vibrations scale.
But trust me, it gets better.
It is at this point that I must reveal that I was in fact looking at many websites at the same time, thanks to the magical gnome rats-in-hats of the internet. You see, there's not a lot of things I can do while listening to This Life. Im pretty much limited to playing video games (the most complex of which cannot exceed Zelda: Oracle of Seasons), and light reading material. It just so happens that I had Wikipedia'd⁹ Ira Glass right before this amazing moment of recognition with Jimmy Corrigan. I do this from time to time with celebrities that I enjoy or particularly admire. I like to chart my progress against them, and then judge my life accordingly.¹⁰
I hope you're all very ready for another cool thing, because it's about to slam you in the face when I tell you that at the very bottom of Ira's wikipedia page, there is a note that he dated popular cartoonist Lynda Barry¹¹ and that details of this relationship are chronicled in her graphic work One! Hundred! Demons!
You should all inhale sharply again because this is another book off the curriculum for my Graphic Narrative course! (Now at a Cool Vibration of 3.8!)

Meanwhile, in WebBrowser window number 8, my search for more information regarding the new This American Life television program (namely where I can watch it without paying for it) yields another reference to Chris Ware. Apparently he animated a brief section of a This American Life TV show. I was very excited at finding this. Chris Ware has a Cool Vibrations rating of at least 8.8 (which is actually so high on the Cool Vibrations scale that I should report it in Von Hugenstein's Awesomeness unit: The Viking), or 5.4vks. At this point, my searching was reaching a fevered pitch. The link at slate.com isn't working!¹² Oh no! Quick: cut to YouTube.
YouTube must have it - they have everything!

It doesn't take long to watch, and thoroughly enjoy, the short piece. The animation is smooth, and looks like it was done in Flash. But that doesn't matter, because it lends itself so well to Ware's style. I watch it at least twice.
After that, Im ready to finish up the episode of This Life that I was listening to way back when this whole thing started. You know, the one about "my brilliant plan?" Its about three or five billion lines of text above this exact spot, so go back, take a look and buy me a smoothie if you're lost.
I flipped iTunes back into drive and, again, get puzzled and have to stop what I am doing. I pause the show, and re-start the animation. And then I run both at the same time.

They have exactly the same theme music playing.

What? What's that?
No gasp? Nothing? Hold on just a second. The animation that I am watching on YouTube, that I found by chance surfing around killing time, has the exact same music in the background music as the show (which I had started listening to 9 weeks ago) I am listening to as I find the animation and you don't think that is completely amazing?!
Don't you see what just happened? I just wandered through a whole network of connections and coincidences, and got hit in the face by it. I just rode my low-flying cellphone right into the complex 3D structure of life's coincidences, while at the same time subtly drawing a comparison between the connection of people and things in life and the way things are connected and expressed on the internet, while simultaneously demonstrating how circular narratives carry a sense of completion which is greater than most!

It's a perfect 5.0 on the Cool Vibes meter.


--------


1². A few days ago I, along with the entire class, received a stern 'talking to' about the correct expression things like books (My Special Hemroid), Poems ('The Last Of The Great Goiters'), quotes ("The road turned and I didn't." (period inside the quotation marks)), and the like. I have no idea how a radio show is meant to be presented. I am also to lazy to look it up. Look, people. Look upon this blog and despair: the internet is degrading our beloved conventions. Tremble, mortals, at the misuse of the italics! The semi-colon! The hyphen!

2. Another strike against Journler - it has not built in superscript function. I had to use the 'Special Characters Palette' where, interestingly, "⁵" is located on line 2710 and "¹" is located on line 230.

3. The other great thing about it is that I can let them collect on my computer and, well, you all know about me and collecting things.

4. Episode 328. I likely used the incorrect expression, or citation or whatever. I'll see you in hell, MLA.

5. Episode 245, rerun.

6. On Showtime, apparently all the time.

7. Episode 324, "My Brilliant Plan." If one was willing, one could actually go through and plot exactly how much time I spent on all this through the subtle clues hidden throughout.

8. English 417, professored by the amazing E. S. Rabkin

9. "Photoshopped" and "Googled" are now acceptable terms, so it's only a matter of time.

10. This is, in fact, a very healthy activity. If you knew what some of your favorite personalities had to do when they were young to get where they are, it makes you think twice about your predicament. A friend of mine was recently struggling with some problems related to his band. He quit school very close to graduating to start taking music seriously. I told him to read the Wikipedia entry on Beck Hansen's early career. If you ever feel troubled about your life artistically, read the Beck entry.

11. I just wiki'd her and I feel pretty bad. She has a whole section, about 25-33%, of her bio dedicated to her relationship to Ira Glass. Truly, a measurement of someone's popularity.

12. What is slate.com, anyway? I hear them referenced constantly on NPR nowadays.

13. BONUS FOOTNOTE: This reminds me a lot of the Hypertexts that we are looking at in my Eng 407 class. Totally wiggy.

Behold! The Winner!

The Blog is not dead.
It was hibernating. It was hibernating because School was just too much for me to deal with. I've spent the past month hiding in the first floor Men's Room of Angell Hall - in the Handicapped Stall, aka. the best stall.

There's much to talk about! But since this is my first day back I don't want to pull a muscle so I'll keep it simple.
Over my spring break - many moons ago now, Phillip Eddy received his prize for winning the DESIGN MAX'S GIRLFRIEND contest.

See pictures over at the Picasa thing

Now many of you out there have stuff coming to you. Be patient, and you shall be rewarded!

It sure is good to be back on the internet.

An Update For the Future

We were going pretty strong with the blog thing, and then I got back from Break and had to deal with school again. 'Ts a bad time, these past few days. Way too busy. The Gargoyle budget needs to be finished up, and I have a board meeting to go to on Monday. Not to mention all the papers in my immediate future.

Bear with me, I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, here's Bob Dyaln singing the words to popular Dr. Suess books. Not really, but they sound awfully convincing. Dig it.

Free Wilco Trak!

For all those Wilco fans out there, the band is offering a free track off it's upcoming album Sky Blue Sky.

Dig it here.

The track listing for the album is also available in the 'NEWS' section of the site. Sadly, it looks like the amazing song 'Lets Not Get Carried Away,' didn't make the cut. That's really too bad, because there's nothing better than listening to Jeff Tweedy declare his intention to, "rock myself - today."

In other news, I have reached a new level of decadence. This morning I awoke and breakfasted on Orange Juice with Fillet MinJon(sic).

Travel Blogging

Im in Indiana! Hooray!

I got kind of a late start today. I woke up at eight, turned off my alarm and promptly slept for an additional two hours or so. Not too fantastic. But I made it to the bank, rented the apt., and grabbed lunch at Ahmos before hopping in my car and speeding off into the sunset.
I started traveling in earnest at around 12:40pm, and made it in at 5:30 which isn't too bad considering that I stopped for a while in Ft. Wayne. By that time I was pretty cheesed about not having my tunes in the truck. So after pooping and eating at Arby's, I stopped in real quick to buy a $20 FM transmitter for the iPod. The dang thing is completely ridiculous. It only broadcasts on four stations, all of which are very close to each other, but I suppose it works. The ridiculous thing is that it's about the size of a regulation hockey puck and plugs directly into the iPod. If I were them, I would not have included a picture of the device in action. But they did. And it did make me rather disheartened.
Buying the transmitter was pretty essential by that point, because about an hour after Ft. Wayne, all the decent radio disappears and you're on your own. For the return trip, I'll probably just run down the AAA batteries in the puck and take my chances once I can get in range of something not playing an eclectic mix of 70's crap-rock.

There is something very wrong with American radio. I believe earnestly that it has not changed an iota since 1975. With the exception of Christian stations and "ALTERNATIVE" (read: crappy) stations it's pretty much just Stevie Nix and Boston all the time (with a little Journey thrown in just to make sure you get every last bit of food out of your stomach).
Guess who now knows all the words to 'Jungle Love?' Ans: Me!

What's really weird is that the production of the shows still sounds awful. It's the same kind of "wacky" DJ voices, and all the ads sound like low-budget affairs recorded in mom's bathroom. Its especially sad because really interesting music radio, of the variety that used to be featured on WDET, is dead. Which is awful, because it was that station that introduced me to The Sonic Youth, Calexico, The Pixies, and my beloved fav-band Wilco.
NPR is pretty much setting the standard for quality radio production - and why it's not being followed is simply beyond me.

Enough about music - I am here in Indiana, so posting will officially be dubbed "IRREGULAR." Once I return to Ahn Ahba, with it's many fruits and WiFi,I'll get back on schedule.
Im going to try to make dinner tomorrow. Pray for my dear grandmother.

This Is Now The Blog About Blogging

[Edit: Man, this post is really boring. I'll do better next time.]

As some may have noticed, I've started to step-up the whole blogging thing. The way I figure it, it's probably good for me. True, it does take up some of my time - and with school pressures and what not, that might not be such a great idea. However, I retort thus:

Firstly, it forces me to write. I enjoy writing, and it's something that I really want to pursue. Who knows, maybe even try to make a career out of it (one way or another). My good friend Keith, who is much wiser than me, once told me that if you want to write then you need to make time to do it. In the sense of everyday. I may not be pulling off everyday, but Im at least doing something.

Secondly, as anyone who knows me can attest I am not the most organized of people. The idea of having a deadline and trying to stick to it might just form some of those good habits that I keep hearing about. So far, it's working alright as an experiment in self-discipline. Most days I get the posts finished on time, but I haven't gotten to the point where I have worked ahead and proof what I blog. Hopefully, that will change. I've started to get into the habit of working ahead, writing smaller not so great posts that I keep around as a buffer. With any luck, this buffer will evolve into a system for creating quality, finished material.

On the subject of blogging, I've been experimenting with new ways to blog. Nothing to crazy yet, I've got some cool ideas that have yet to be realized but they'll have to wait. For those of you that are of age and don't mind the occasional poop joke, some of these new ideas might just come to fruition when we launch the Gargoyle 3.0 site. Anyway, lately I've been playing around with blogging clients.
A 'blogging client' is an application which I use to write and post to the web. For a long time Journler was my client of choice. I could do all my writing in Journler, which stores all the scraps and makes them searchable. Its main convenience was the ability to post to multiple blogs. I could write something for TalkingEds, Alive and Kicking and LiveJournal accounts and manage all the posting from Journler.
However, the update of Blogger has left Journler looking ragged about the edges. It can't handle dealing with the new Blogger system and has no support of tagging posts - a handy method of organization that I've tried to employ into my posts.
I gave Ecto and Marsedit a spin, but both were just not playing nice with blogger and neither seemed willing to play nice with tags.
So Im sticking with Journler - for now.
But I do need a change.

There's been some rumblings via email and comments that people want to learn about viking longships. Viking longships are totally awesome, and I am working on a little something to share for all interested parties.

In the meantime, I must ready myself for my journey to Indiana.
(Leaving Ann Arbor: Wed. Morning)
(Leaving West Lafayette: Sat. Morning)

Talking to Students

Now as you all know, this week is the University of Michigan's Spring Break. As we speak, thousands of students are leaving the city of Ann Arbor and wandering home, navigating primarily by landmarks and the promise of free food and laundry services. Many of you, out there in the world, do not live in Ann Arbor and may be stunned by the sudden re-appearance of people you haven't seen in years. Do not be alarmed! As the University vomits its beloved students upon your community, you may be wondering how to deal with interacting with people that are your intellectual, physical and social superiors.

It's very easy, provided you follow these simple steps:

1. The Approach
Your average UM student is a feisty weasel. After weeks of sweet talking their way out of assignments and foraging for edibles , they will seem at first skittish and stand off-ish. When you spot one, approach with bent posture to show your submission before their self-importance. Be sure to have cash and burritos protruding dangerously from your pocket, It's often helpful to say in a loud voice, "Oh no! My money and my dinner are hanging precariously out of my pocket!" Allow the student to snatch them away, thus affirming their sense of superiority. Once the student has begun to inspect the burrito, you can move on to step 2.

2. The Greeting
After getting the attention of a student, you should now greet them as soon as possible. The greeting is essential - do not forget to greet the student! First, feign ignorance of their level of education. Ask them, 'where do you go to school?' When they reply, immediately drop to the ground placing both hands firmly on the pavement. Immediately beg their forgiveness for your own stupidity and ask them to lay their hands on your head so that you may know the sensation of touching brilliance. Only after they have touched your head, should you rise - but never above their height.
Continue with the greeting by offering them land, wives, and the use of laundry facilities. The practice of 'gifting' is very important to the UM student - give them something. Be sure, when singing the praises of the student that all the correct honorifics are used. 'Sir,' should be used only for a freshman, 'Lord' for a Sophomore, 'Great one' for a junior,' and 'Galaxor Nebulon - ruler of the 12 Nefftel Clusters of the great outer arm - whose eyes shall command all he sees with great wrath and vengeance' for a senior. All female students should be addressed as, 'Madame,' 'Empress,' 'Honey,' or 'Shnookums.'
Once the student has allowed you to make eye contact, may you move on to the actual conversation.

3. The Conversation
For the non-student, the conversation phase is the easiest of all of the steps. Simply ask, 'how are things at school,' and then do nothing. You will note an instant twinkling in the students eye, and a sudden lightness about their person. They will immediately launch into a long tirade centered around very long words and very difficult concepts. They will, however, not really understand what they're talking about and will veil their ignorance as much as possible.
Do not attempt to ask for clarifications, simply nod while the student speaks and comment on how impressed you are. Though proud, the student is easily wounded, especially in discussions of his/her academics. They must feel as if they have accomplished something, it's best not to rob them of this one indulgence - its what they live for.

4. The Escape
Though you may love them, you certainly do not want to have to listen to a student all day, and now that you have got them going its going to be very hard to get them to stop. There is no way out of a conversation with a student, except to deflect the conversation on to something that the student fears. Ask them about their finances, about their love lives or about their plans for the future. You'll notice an almost instantaneous change. The student will shrink back, as if poked with a stick. This will not, however stop them from talking. Instead, they'll launch into a lengthy explanation. Do not them being their explanation. In the split second of indecision after you ask them you must quickly run out of the room. It may help to throw glitter in the face of the student so as to confuse and disorient them. If you can afford it, you can also through Gary Coleman.

- - - - -

Hope nobody gets rubbed the wrong way by that. It seemed funny to me at the time.

The Precursor To The Main Event

Well, Im out of School. At the moment I am in the TroyDizzle, mixing it up on the familial kitchen table. I've just filled myself with two days worth of delicious home made meals, but sadly I must leave tomorrow. It's imperative that I return to Ann Arbor - The Big Sleazy - and engage the final stages of my hunt for an apartment.

And I hope you don't mind that I took a few days off to enjoy some vacation time. I actually spent a good chunk (small chunk) of it doing homework, but I think we are finally passed that now.

Tomorrow will mark the beginning of the UM Spring Break. Stay tuned for an important update.

PS.
Yes I plan on being in the Indiana most soon - probably mid-week. But first I need to get a hold of Grandma.

Quick!

Last night just did not happen in terms of the Blog - my apologies! I did, however, write a pretty awesome paper, so I think it's a worthy tradeoff.

RESERVE THIS SPOT FOR A POST - SOON!

I Like To Toss Things

I've got another paper due Wednesday that I have started working on. Claire's been sick all weekend and I've been taking care of her. Put 'em together, and I've been a busy bee. Non-stop run-around since Friday night, at least.
Please accept this humble filler post, prepared for just such an emergency.

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The other day I was standing in the shower, like you do, washing my hair. Being a totally hot dude, this kind of a problem since I have wash some serious footage of hair. This leads to really long showers, simply based on necessity. I also take forever because I wake up freezing every morning. I honestly feel like I receive all my body heat for the day from the showers I take in the morning. Which - of course - results in even longer showers. I need to recharge my heated core! It's vital!
So, Im taking this 1,000ºC shower, getting ready for my day, and I bend over and pick up the shampoo bottle by it's cap. Then, I did something amazing. I deftly flicked my wrist and released the bottle into mid air for a fraction of a second. At more or less the time the bottle was loosing all it's upward momentum and was on the cusp of being pulled tub-ward, I grabbed the bottle at it's center. I did this for a better grip before dispensing it's cleansing goo. I do this all the time, and not just with shower goo bottles! When I was in marching band, way back in High School, I would do the same trick with my clarinet to get a better grip. Everyday, I whip my cellphone out in the same manner. I hardly ever drop it.
I heard on NPR that famed soccer playing "BECKEM" (or some such thing) performs thousands of calculations in seconds to be able to intercept a flying soccer ball with his head, and send it in for a goal. This involves differential equations, which anyone who is taken higher math than me (which is apparently everyone) can tell you are very hard. Some of the first computers were contracted by the US Defense Dept. to calculate firing tables utilizing differential equations, basically so that the allies could win the war. At least that's what they tell me in my Computers in Literature class.
Anyway, humans do really hard math instinctively and for the most part we do it really, really well. Ever watch those videos of dudes bouncing off walls like theirs something wrong with em'? Yeah. Thats some heavy physics, dudes.
As I was standing in the shower, marveling at my abilities, I wondered 'was this all learned? Did I work all this out as a baby or was I born with these instincts?' Of course, I have no idea what the answer is, but while washing out the conditioner, I had another thought: 'what if a baby was taken to another planet that had similar gravity, but not exactly the same, as our own planet. Would the kid be able to do these neat tricks? Or would his DNA, hard-wired to thousands of years on Earth be unable to cope?'

Still, I have no idea.

We need someone to find a planet and volunteer a baby.

It's a late post tonight, but I had a very important paper due at 11:45 - which is RIGHT NOW - that had to be done. I wrote on the use of visual devices in William Joyce's A Day With Wilbur Robinson. This is one of my long time favorite books, and it was a pleasure to research. But writing it was a different story. I've been behind all week in classes, couple that with the daily work in addition to assignments I was looking at a rough couple of days no matter how I sliced it.
But the paper is done, and that's the important thing. Right?
Nope, sorry.
You see, earlier in the week we were uploading files for the class. And I screwed up the filename. Im not very good with the CTools system that we use for uploading, I guess that's my defense.
Anyway, I was told to basically 'don't screw up again.'
Well, I did. I messed up the filename again. Hopefully, I will be forgiven.

Tomorrow I have to do a presentation on Viking Ships. Hopefully I can get it finished up before 11am tomorrow. At the moment I am watching the Fifth Element - which I have never seen in it's entirety. So far, it's the coolest thing to happen to me all night. I wanted to go out with Kris tonight and get post-Valentine's Day candy, but I just have too much to do.

That's all kind of a downer isn't it?
Let's go to the Mailbag.

In the commentary from the last blog 'Barb' asks, "why is it called Green-land? Was someone being funny?"

Actually, yes. Or rather, someone was pulling a con job on the Norweigans and the Icelanders. The actual discovery and colonization of Greenland is recorded in the Vinland Sagas, which I have to present for a class tomorrow! How convenient! Eirik the Red, son of Thorvald, left Norway because of some killings. In Iceland, Eirik was given outlawry for other troubles and decided that he should go on an ocean voyage. Eirik constantly discovers Greenland. As it is written in the Grænlendiga Saga, page 50, Eirik "named the country he discovered Greenland, for he said that people would be much more tempted to go there if it had an attractive name."
Aren't the Icelandic Sagas fantastic? Everyone should read them. You can read more about the Norse discovery of North America in The Vinland Sagas.

'Aunt Julie' wrote, "You were leafing through a Popular Mechanics from 1953??? Were you in Back to the Future?"

No, but I was spending a cozy evening in the Gargoyle office! There's nothing funnier than old Popular Mechanics, and we draw on them often as a comedic source. Serously, I need to scan some of those - they are awesome!

Alright, back to work. I've got a lot of learning to do about viking Long Ships.

It's A Mite Chilly In Here

It's been snowing in Ann Arbor ever since the top of the page, and looks like it's going to stick around for a while.

Oddly, everyone is complaining. This isn't so odd an occurrence, this is winter we're in and we are all stuck in Michigan so complaining about cold, inclement weather is not unheard of.
So the weird vibe, Max? Simple: because about 8 months ago (or so) everyone was talking about how BAD global warming is. Everyone saw the Al Gore movie and was - at that moment - deeply concerned about adorable polar bears and the fate of the world on the whole (but mostly the adorable polar bear). So, here we are, experiencing what is relatively normal weather for this time of year and everyone is complaining! This is what you wanted! Good ol' normal Michigan winters!

Actually, Global Warming continues to terrify me. I heard last week that some massive chunk (23 square miles, that's 23x bigger than the Vatican) of ice broke off and melted in a few days. That's pretty scary! I've also heard that Greenland is melting really fast. While the loss of Greenland would improve the overall perspective of maps all around the world (it's always depicted much too large), it's not cool that it's disappearing. Hopefully Iceland will survive long enough for me to go and visit it.

Another thought on Global Warming: I was leafing through a Popular Mechanics from 1953 and even back then they were talking about a 'dangerous warming trend' across the world. They even used the same pictures of the same receding glacier that Gore used in his movie! Wiggy! They do, however, come short of really addressing the problem in the magazine. Every time the interviewer comes close, he veers off and starts talking about 'cloud seeding' or some other crap. Ah well.

Someone needs to remind me to upload that sometime.

Todays piece of media is the first ten minutes of what is going to be a fascinating documentary on Will Eisner. Link

Also! Today I celebrate my 1 year 1 month and 1 day anniversary of blogging on Blogger. Huzzah!